Emily Heist Moss

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Why I Threw Away All Of My Lingerie

Originally appeared on Role/Reboot. Republished here with permission.

I threw away all my underwear today. Scratch that. Today, I threw away all of my underwear that would be classified as “lacy little things,” “thongs,” or, in Victoria’s Secret parlance, “cheekies.” Scratchy, itchy, barely-there? It had to go.

I have never lived alone,…

By: Emily Heist Moss / August 21, 2013

True Story: My Ex-Boyfriend Announced That He’s HIV-Positive On Facebook

This piece originally appeared on Role/Reboot. Republished here with permission.

An email arrives from an old friend with the name of your ex-boyfriend in the subject line. In the body of the email, just this: “I’m totally shocked. When was the last time you talked to him?” You sigh, what now? Is he…

By: Emily Heist Moss / June 18, 2013

The Soapbox: The Election Is Over But I’m Still Scared

Originally appeared on Role/Reboot. Republished here with permission.

It’s over.

For a while, I managed to hold it together. There was pie to eat and wine to drink and a couch to sink gratefully into. There were friends to laugh with and sigh with, dishes to clean up, and an 8am meeting o…

By: Emily Heist Moss / November 9, 2012

Soapbox: What’s Your Number? Here’s Why I Don’t Care

The previews for the Anna Faris vehicle “What’s Your Number?” couldn’t make me want to see that movie any less if they added “Exorcist”-style projectile vomiting. The premise, if you have magically managed to miss the media blitz, is that Faris’ character realizes her list of sexual partners has one more digit than most of her…

By: Emily Heist Moss / October 7, 2011

Why Is “Going Down” Often A One-Way Street?

To write this article on cunnilingus, I created a mini-survey to get some perspectives from readers, Twitter followers, Facebook friends and a bunch of total strangers. I threw “box job”—as Dan Savage once described the act—in the title simply because, sad as it seems, I assumed that that the technical term (which is derived from…

By: Emily Heist Moss / September 15, 2011

Let’s Discuss: Sex On A First Date

As I surveyed real friends, Facebook friends, Twitter friends, and total strangers about having sex on the first date, the unfortunate cow comparison came up no fewer than five times in my first twelve interviews. Everybody complained about it, bemoaning the lack of nuance, the icky imagery, and the overt transactional implications. And yet, it…

By: Emily Heist Moss / August 9, 2011

Flowchart: To Put Out Or Not To Put Out?

You’re on a first date — should you do it? Run to the bathroom and whip out this flowchart to help you decide. [Rosie Says]…

By: Emily Heist Moss / August 4, 2011

5 Rules For Happier Hunting In The World Of Online Dating

I’ve been online dating and I have not met my one true love, my soul mate, my Prince Charming, my knight in shining armor, or my other half. You may consider this a failure, but by my metrics, it’s going just fine. I’ve met fascinating, attractive, intelligent, opinionated, funny people and enjoyed a ridiculous range…

By: Emily Heist Moss / July 18, 2011

Is Porn A Relationship Dealbreaker?

My mother and many of her second-wave feminist peers view pornography as an institutional ill that is degrading to women and damaging to developing sexuality. She believes that the camera-ready angles, waxed and plastic body parts and pervasive depiction of extreme acts as “normal” distort human sexuality and give young porn-viewers a whole bunch of…

By: Emily Heist Moss / July 12, 2011

How Not To Respond When Your Partner Doesn’t Hit The Big O

“You didn’t finish, did you?” he asked.

“No,” I said.

I’ve lied before, but I’m trying to wean myself away from it. Lying only adds a layer of mental unease to any lingering physical dissatisfaction I might be feeling, and assuaging false pride rarely seems like a good deal. The dishonesty…

By: Emily Heist Moss / May 27, 2011