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Seven Compliments That Won’t Get You Laid

If you’ve thumbed through an issue of Maxim magazine or Men’s Health anytime in the last twenty-five years, you’ve probably read a few pointers on how to properly compliment a woman. Personally, I think these lists can be a little too vague, and quite honestly, a little lame. For example, one list I read recently said, “When you meet someone interesting, commend her on her wit or intelligence—not her beautiful breasts.” That someone actually felt compelled to remind men not to compliment breasts at first sight shocked me. Don’t all guys know not to do this? Keep reading »

Modern-Day Popeye And Olive Oyl

I’ve only dated a few men that are shorter than me. And when I say “a few” I mean one. Maybe two if I really dig—deep into the Dead Sea perhaps. I have definitely dated a lot of guys that are within an inch or two of my own height.

Being in a relationship with a shorter man does not bother me one bit. In fact, I think there should be more couples with shorter men and taller women. But if I have no problem at all, why do I usually find myself with those 6’2” fellows? Keep reading »

Gay Rodeo Clown

I knew that I was a lesbian very early on. As I reached my twenties, it was clear that I was a butch lesbian, with more “male” energy than “female.” But my long hair and curvy body was not supporting my self-image. That had to change. It’s not that I wanted to be a guy exactly, I just wanted to be able to pass as one—the hair, the look, the attitude. For me, it was not about altering my body so much as it was about altering my hair. The right haircut would put a swagger in my step, a bit of mischief in my eye, and help me attract the femme woman of my dreams. Keep reading »

Please Don’t Tell Me How Great You Are

A long time ago, right before I met the man who would become my husband, I dated a guy named Gary,* a new-age rocket scientist who excelled in many things, including the art of self-promotion.

I remember that cold February night, a week before Valentine’s Day, when we were driving in his car. He had played his guitar and sung songs at his church that day and was giving me the post-mortem on his performance. Keep reading »

Revenge of the Nerds: Four Reasons Women Dig Geeks

When my boyfriend announced that he was getting Lasik surgery a few months ago, I was unnerved. Glasses are my thing—one of those obscure attributes that immediately attracts me to somebody, no matter how brutish or repelling the rest of his personality may be. For one of my girlfriends, it’s large veins on a man’s forearms. For another, it’s a defined jaw line (to the extent that she lists Michael Bolton and Ed Harris as her top celebrity crushes because of it). For me, it’s a hot pair of … lenses. Keep reading »

Is It Hot Or Cold in Here Or Is It Me?

Dating to find the right person, i.e. kind, mentally healthy,and moderately good-looking, can be real challenge. So many nicely wrapped packages end up holding a lump of coal. Or a big pile of poo.

I thought I’d share several types to watch out for in the dating lottery game. Warning: not all bad ‘uns come stamped with “Loser” across their forehead. Too bad for us little girls getting our hearts broke. Again.

We’ll start with some lightweights (revealed in less than three dates) and work our way up to the big stinker (can suck up years of your life). Keep reading »

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