I wasn’t always good at negotiating. As a writer, I was usually just delighted to be getting paid anything at all, so if I was told a freelance rate or a starting salary was standard or set in stone, I took it and I liked it, with the kind of deranged enthusiasm that you only have at the beginning — until a few years ago, when I walked into my boss’ office and quit my job. I didn’t have another full time job lined up; I quit so I could freelance full time.
Suddenly, I had to hustle. I was pitching stories sometimes multiple times a week, and negotiating a rate for each and every one. I wasn’t great at it at first—it was scary to ask for more money even when an assignment clearly called for it. But I did, again and again. Soon, I had it down—I was successfully negotiating for a higher rate more often than I wasn’t, I found a steady freelance gig I could count on for steady cash-flow, and by the end of my second year freelancing, I was raking in more than I had ever made when I had a full time job.
Anyway, so just wanted to share all my good fortune. Hope you guys are good, we should totes get together for a drink sometime, byeeeee.
Oh, wait, you wanted some advice for how you can become a better negotiator too? Sure, I’ve got that.
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You meet online. You have the same favorite book and it’s not The Fountainhead. You exchange emails multiple times a day and bond over your mutual love of cats, Frasier, and pretending you like to spend Sunday in bed with the New York Times crossword puzzle. It’s meant to be! The first date is around the corner. You’re bringing your lucky socks to the laundromat when…oops, you screw it up. They cancel the first date and now you’re dead to them. You spend Saturday night with your cat and a Frasier marathon. You use your Sunday crossword puzzle to line the litter box and spend the morning in bed, hugging your body pillow. Where did you go wrong? You may have made one of the following pre-first-date faux pas… Keep reading »
Is it a date or an interview for a lifetime together? Here are six ways to tell. Keep reading »
The third date was perfect. You laughed, you flirted, your hands grazed as you both reached for the cheesiest nacho.
Eight days later — nothing. They haven’t called or answered your text(s). You’ve been checking their Facebook profile so sadly you’re sure they were not a victim of a tragic accident en route to dropping off flowers or serenading you outside of your window with an iPod dock and the latest episode of This American Life. Keep reading »
Whether you’re throwing a viewing party — and following The Frisky’s liveblog — complete with cucumber sandwiches and tiaras or opting out of the Royal Wedding celebration, it’s almost impossible to avoid getting caught up in the nuptials happening across the pond. So give in and enjoy like the Brits do—with a nice cold drink. Keep reading »
When a commitment-phobe I had been dating for two months excitedly told me he had a present for me — “you’ll love it,” he assured me — I prepared myself for a thoughtful, romantic gesture of his relationship readiness. But when I walked into his bedroom, he instead pointed at a Starbucks iced coffee on his desk that I had left there after our third date. He thought he was being cute, but our relationship curdled shortly after. Whether intentional or not, your man’s gifts send a message. So what did his holiday gift say this year? Find out after the jump …
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I graduated from college two years ago with $115,000 in student loans. I’m paying them off a little at a time, and when I need a reason to drink, I like to play with loan payoff calculators online, which tell me that, if my monthly payments stay as they are, I should be done in about 42 years. Sure, sometimes I wish I had picked a less expensive school, but so do a lot of people, right? What’s done is done, and now I have to pay for my degree, just like everyone else … right? Keep reading »
Do your friends marvel at your discipline to be at the gym EVERY morning at 6 a.m.? Or is your favorite exercise move texting? (C’mon it has to burn some calories, right?) Maybe you’ve become addicted to fitness gizmos ever since you tried out your mom’s Thighmaster in the 8th grade … or you’re nursing the tennis elbow you got from playing Wii Fit (who woulda thunk it?). What’s your fitness style? After the jump, take our quiz and find out if you’re a Workout Warrior, Gym Rat … or just Loving Your Lady Lumps. Keep reading »
I’ve written about a few dating dealbreakers I’ve encountered — the virgin; bad sex; the dumb guy — and my friends and Frisky commenters are always quick to jump in with their own list of turnoffs that will make a guy undateable.
We hate their below-the-belt grooming (or lack thereof), their obsession with sports, their awful sense of style. But wait. Sometimes we put our razors on strike and spend marathon afternoons on the couch watching “Say Yes to the Dress.” And a guy who nitpicks our fashion choices? He’s out of there faster than he can figure out how to pronounce “Christian Louboutin.”
Let’s cut the boys some slack. Maybe it’s time to take a theatrically long look in the mirror and ask ourselves, “Would I date me?” We asked our girlfriends for their “I wouldn’t date me” dealbreakers: the habits and quirks that we’re guilty of … but have ditched men over. It turns out we’re hypocrites about a few things. Keep reading »
Dater, beware: steer clear of these tell-tale online dating profile warning signs. Keep reading »