Profile for Dennis Hong

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Guy Talk: I Was The Angry Boyfriend

Guy-Talk--I-Was-The-Angry-Boyfriend

My girlfriend and I moved in together six months ago, and as to be expected, it’s taken some time to get used to each other’s idiosyncrasies – doing the laundry, putting away dishes, and so on. For instance, Melissa sorts our clean towels according to size. I, on the other hand, prefer to separate by use, because… eww, gross. The gym towels should never touch the bath towels! Even if they’re clean, that’s disgusting! Right?

Still, I pride myself on the fact that I don’t get annoyed with her over petty things. When she does something that’s the complete opposite of what I’d do, I remind myself that it’s not a big deal. And if it is a big deal, we work something out. We always work something out.

But that wasn’t always how I operated. Keep reading »

Dating Don’ts: 6 Harsh Online Dating Realities That You Should Be Aware Of

Dating Don'ts: Musicians
dating musicians
Be forewarned before you date a musician. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Nothing
Ami makes a case for doing nothing when it comes to meeting someone. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Travel
The DOs and DONT's of travel hookups. Read More »

My girlfriend and I met on eHarmony, so I’ll be the first to acknowledge that online dating can absolutely be a worthwhile experience. Still, it was far from a smooth journey. I dabbled with it for almost seven years, and prior to Melissa, the most memorable thing I came away with was a tome’s worth of craptacular dating stories. (Though, in that respect, I guess I do have eHarmony and Match to thank for my writing career.)

Armed with years of slow-churned cynicism, I took to the internet to see if others shared my experiences. What I uncovered were some harsh realities about online dating that no one ever talks about. After the jump, some things you might not have known… Keep reading »

Guy Talk: Consent Isn’t As Simple As “No Means No”

Guy Talk: Sex
no sex
Men don't want to have sex all the time. Read More »
Straight Guy, Trans Rights
Dan on why a straight guy like him cares about transgender rights. Read More »
Guy Talk: Friendzone
What guys need to know about the friendzone. Read More »

Back in my 20s, I used to party quite a bit, sometimes to ridiculous excess. Drunkenness was rampant, and so were the accompanying shenanigans.

Once, a large group of us took a limo bus downtown for a coworker’s birthday. On the bus was a girl I recognized from work, but had never met. We ended up chatting sporadically throughout the night. But since we were constantly moving around, our exchanges never lasted more than a few minutes at a time.

By the end of the night, she and I were probably the only two people still coherent enough to carry on a conversation. Back at the birthday girl’s apartment, everyone else having either passed out or stumbled home, we found ourselves sitting next to each other on the couch.

There had been a tiny sliver of flirtation between us, but mostly, it had just been idle chatter up to that point. To be honest, I hadn’t noticed any indication that she was the least bit interested in me. Then again, I hadn’t telegraphed any interest in her, either. But that was because I hadn’t been interested in her. Not until that moment, anyway. Keep reading »

Guy Talk: How Do You Handle Your Relationship Issues?

Guy Talk: Friendzone
What guys need to know about the friendzone. Read More »
Guy Talk: First Date
There was a reason he never called you after that great first date. Read More »
Guy Talk: Waiting
No man is worth waiting for. Really. Read More »

Let’s say you and your significant other are having an issue—one that isn’t a relationship killer, but is serious enough that it can’t be ignored. How do you deal with it?

Here’s what I do: I go into a mental huddle. I sit down, by myself, and I replay the situation in my head. I think about what exactly I might be frustrated with, what would need to happen for this frustration to go away, and what steps I can take to get myself there. Next, I think about what the issue might be for her, what exactly she might be frustrated with, and what an acceptable solution might be for her. From there, I decide how best to tackle the issue. Only then am I ready to talk about it. Keep reading »

Guy Talk: Our First Date Was Nothing Spectacular

Guy Talk: Cheating
This guy doesn't regret cheating. Read More »
Guy Talk: Waiting
No man is worth waiting for. Really. Read More »
Guy Talk: Race
Why this guy dates outside his race. Read More »

Today, December 7th, marks the one-year anniversary of my first date with Melissa.

I wish I could say that I knew from our very first date that this was going to be something special. That the moment I saw her, I was smitten. That our first date was the most amazing date I’d ever been on, full of spontaneous fun and spark-filled exhilaration.

I wish I could say all that. But I’d be lying.

Our first date went well, but honestly, it wasn’t anything spectacular. I certainly can’t say that it stood out above every other first date I’ve been on. Even the circumstances of our meeting weren’t very fairy tale-like. Keep reading »

Guy Talk: I Don’t Regret Cheating

Is He Cheating?
How to tell if he's runnin' around on you. Read More »
Guy Talk: Jerk
Why guys act like jerks when they break up with you. Read More »
Not The One
Four signs he's not the guy for you. Read More »

Do you know how, on job applications, they always ask if you’ve ever been arrested? And then they invariably follow it up with, “If yes, please explain?”

Do you ever get the feeling that if you write “yes” on the first blank, there is absolutely nothing you can write on the second that will save your application from a permanent trip to the reject pile?

Well, there’s one relationship question that I believe operates under the same premise. That question is: “Have you ever cheated on someone?”

Sure, you can answer yes and try to explain. You can stutter and stall all you want. But, the moment your mouth starts to make that “y…” sound, your forehead will immediately be stamped with a giant, red “CHEATER” in indelible ink.

So, I’ll confess now. Yes, I’ve cheated on a girlfriend. Stamp away. But, I’m still going to give my grand explanation. Keep reading »

Guy Talk: No Man Is Worth Waiting Around For

Guy Talk: First Move
The real reason women shouldn't make the first move. Read More »
Guy Talk: Jerk
Why guys act like jerks when they break up with you. Read More »

At some point, you’ve probably fallen for a guy who just isn’t in the “right place” when you meet him. Maybe it’s obvious from his inability to communicate his feelings. Or, maybe he just flat-out tells you that he’s not ready to be in a relationship.

Do you wait for him? Do you tell yourself to be patient and let him sort through his issues?

Someone did that for me once. For five years. Would you be at all surprised to find out that it never worked out between us? Keep reading »

Guy Talk: I Date Outside My Race Because My Race Doesn’t Want To Date Me

Guy Talk: First Move
The real reason women shouldn't make the first move. Read More »
Guy Talk: Romantics
Guys can be hopeless romantics too. Read More »
Guy Talk: Jerk
Why guys act like jerks when they break up with you. Read More »

In case my last name doesn’t make it obvious enough, I’m Asian. At the same time, as some of my friends have noticed, my last few girlfriends have all been decidedly not Asian.

To their mock-raised eyebrows, my response is, “I’m sorry. It’s not my fault.”

Okay, okay, I know what they’re thinking: As an Asian, I’m supposed to like “my own kind,” right?

Sure. And eat rice … and love math … and know just how much starch to add to your laundry … and all those other uncomfortable, racial stereotypes we’re not supposed to talk about.

Not surprisingly, I’ve often been slapped with the “Twinkie” label. In case you aren’t hip on your semi-offensive urban speak, a Twinkie is an Asian who acts white—that is, yellow on the outside, but white on the inside.

But, here’s a secret: My preference for dating non-Asian women wasn’t a conscious choice. Keep reading »

Guy Talk: The Real Reason Women Shouldn’t Make The First Move

Guy Talk: First Date
There was a reason he never called you after that great first date. Read More »
Guy Talk: Romantics
Guys can be hopeless romantics too. Read More »
Guy Talk: First Kiss
One guy talks about making the first move. Read More »

Maybe you catch him standing at the other end of the bar, slyly checking you out. Maybe you met him before and flirted with him, but he never asked for your phone number. Or, maybe you’ve already hung out with him a few times, but a casual arm flung over your shoulders is about the extent of the physical contact he’s made so far.

So, you saunter over to him and say hi.

Or, the next time you see him, you say, “So, are you ever going to ask for my phone number?”

Or, as you’re sitting on the couch next to him, streaming yet another movie on Netflix, you turn to look him in the eyes, and you decide to just go for it and kiss him.

Like that daydreaming moron you’re stuck behind at the busy intersection, these are the guys who make you throw your arms up in the air and yell, “You’ve got the green light! Just go already!”

Yes, there are a lot of timid guys out there.

But now, I’m going to let you in on a little secret: Timid guys aren’t as numerous as you may think. In fact, that cute guy who flirts with you and acts interested, but never actually does anything about it, can turn out to be a totally different breed of guy. He’s not timid, or awkward, or nervous. He’s manipulating you.

Keep reading »

Guy Talk: Why I’ll Act Like A Jerk If I Break Up With You

How To Dump
There is a proper way to dump someone you're dating. Read More »
Guy Talk: First Date
There was a reason he never called you after that great first date. Read More »
Get Over A Breakup
How to get over a breakup, according to John DeVore. Read More »

In the 2007 remake of “3:10 to Yuma,” Christian Bale’s character loses his leg while fighting in the Civil War. As compensation, the government gives him a sum of money, which he uses to attempt to forge a new life. After he fails miserably, he realizes that the government never actually cared about helping him. They just wanted to erase any obligation they had. He sums up his disillusionment more cynically than anything Batman ever came up with: The government didn’t give him the money so he could walk away. They gave him the money so they could walk away.

Recently, I discovered that the same idea applies to dating. Keep reading »

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