Dater X

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Dater X: Jumping Into A New Romance Head First

I had a picture in my mind of how my next dating experience was going to go. I’d meet a nice guy, maybe at a friend’s house party or while we both tried to flag down the bartender at one of those speakeasy-esque bars that serves cocktails with perfectly square ice cubes. We’d exchange some…

By: Dater X / February 1, 2011

Dater X: Why I’m All About Younger Men

Last week, I met a friend for coffee and, as we sipped our cappuccinos, I pumped her for details on the date she’d been on the the night before. “It was alright,” she said, sounding unenthused. “He was just really … young.”

“How young?” I asked, worried we might be talking about a…

By: Dater X / January 25, 2011

The Evolution Of Men’s Underwear

For the first decade of my sexually active life, every guy I encountered wore boxer shorts. The pattern varied—sometimes stripes, sometimes plaid, sometimes something surprising like rubber duckies—as did the elasticity of the waistband. But I could be sure that when a guy’s pants came off, I would find boxers underneath.

But over the…

By: Dater X / January 21, 2011

Dater X: Does Every Single Woman Need A Hot, Foreign Pen Pal?

There are few things I love more than a good pun. And a sly piece of word play? I like to think that I deploy them often. I am all about analogies, and probably use them more often than a “Real Housewife” gets Botox. I, Dater X, am a word nerd. I’ve known this about…

By: Dater X / January 18, 2011

Dater X: What If I Already Know My Green Zebra?

Ten years ago, after flicking my mortarboard in the air at college graduation, my best friend and I embarked on a rite of passage backpacking-through-Europe trip. Together, we traveled through France, Italy, Austria, Germany, and the Czech Republic, buckling under the weight of our backpacks and taking extra croissants from continental breakfasts at hostels i…

By: Dater X / January 11, 2011

Dater X: I Had Sex With 5 Guys In 2010. In 2011, I’d Like To Only Sleep With 1.

You know how, once in a while, someone asks you your age and your mind goes blank, leaving you sounding like a total idiot tripping over the word, “Uhhhhh…” That’s how I feel about my magic number. Confession: I have no idea how many men I’ve had sex with over the years. I cashed i…

By: Dater X / January 4, 2011

Dater X: How The Heck Have My Parents Been Married For 40 Years?

For most single women out there, New Year’s Eve is a big deal. On December 31st, we’ll get all dolled up—preferably in sequins and heavy eyeliner—and hit the town in our 2011 New Year’s Eve glasses. (Question: How exactly are those going to work?) It’s one of the few nights a year where debaucherous drinking…

By: Dater X / December 28, 2010

Dater X: Shaking Off The Pressure To Kiss Someone On New Year’s Eve

Last night, while out to dinner with friends, my phone rang—a rare occurrence in a world where phones are amazing for organizing schedules and arranging text messages into adorable dialogue bubbles, but aren’t so hot at providing a clear pathway for two people to talk. I recognized the area code immediately, though I had deleted…

By: Dater X / December 21, 2010

Dater X: Why Does Sex Change Everything?

As Scruffy Beard began unhooking my bra, a panic signal went off in my head. Uh oh, Dater X, I thought to myself. This is your third date and you are straddling him in a chair. Your shirt is across the room, and you can feel his hard-on through his pants. You are on a

By: Dater X / December 14, 2010

Dater X: Feeling Attracted To Someone Who Isn’t That Attractive

What I’m about to say isn’t going to make you love me. It isn’t PC, and it certainly wouldn’t get high marks from the judges in a beauty pageant question and answer round. It is shallow, and a thing that none of us are supposed to say. But it is also honest:

Looks matter…

By: Dater X / December 7, 2010

Dater X: Playing Patti Stanger On A Bad Date

As I leaned forward and sent my 10-pound ball careening down the center of the lane, I could feel Blondie staring at my butt. Normally, this is a thing I love, but tonight, all I felt was supremely uncomfortable. The pins flew in the air in a jumble, but it was hard to be too…

By: Dater X / November 30, 2010

Dater X: Ghosts Of Thanksgiving Beaus Past

Last year, the night before Thanksgiving, I had a glorious third date with The Architect. Partly because of our easy rapport and partly because so many people leave New York City for the holidays, everywhere we went, it felt like we were the only two people that existed. At the movie theater, rather than fighting…

By: Dater X / November 23, 2010

Dater X: Why I’m Giving Up Horoscopes

“Your allure is at an all-time high,” my horoscope told me Thursday morning. “Be bold. No one will be able to resist you this week and daring actions will be rewarded.”

The words echoed through my head all the day. As I dug through my closet to pick what to wear, I felt compelled…

By: Dater X / November 16, 2010

Dater X: Shaking Off The Dry Spell

A wise woman—OK, Sharon Stone—once said, “Love is like the ocean. Sometimes the tide is in and sometimes the tide is out, and sometimes it’s like the frigging Mojave. Fortunately, I like the desert. I’m a desert flower.”

For the past two months, ever since The Juggler faded out, I have been hiking through…

By: Dater X / November 9, 2010

Dater X: Dating As A Non-Smoker, For The First Time

I’m in a dry spell as it is, I worried. Will being a non-smoker further kill my game?Will being a non-smoker further kill my game?This status update was from a friend from high school, someone who’s 31 years old—just like me. I couldn’t believe that anyone our age would be dealing with anything as scary…

By: Dater X / November 2, 2010

Dater X: Making The First Move

I remember watching Dan stroll into Chemistry 101. He had on a blue hoodie and was dancing to the DiscMan he held in his right hand. He sat down at a table across the room from me, not bothering to put his music away, even though the bell was about to ring. He turned around…

By: Dater X / October 26, 2010

Dater X: I’m Rewriting My Story

Last week, I came at you with the most depressing “Dater X” ever. I was feeling sad, and lonely, not to mention disappointed after realizing that Brown Eyes and I don’t have relationship potential after all. As I pressed send on that last column, I asked myself a question: Would you rather have met someone…

By: Dater X / October 19, 2010

Dater X: Single Loneliness Rears Its Ugly Head

I spotted Brown Eyes across the street, leaning against a wall outside the restaurant. He looked adorable in his thick scarf, fiddling with his iPod. As I walked up, he smiled and greeted me with a sweet kiss on the lips. It was the kind of hello we’ve never given each other before—after all, for…

By: Dater X / October 12, 2010

Dater X: Why Does Rejection Make Us So Angry?

I looked at his profile before I read the email he sent—a rookie online dating mistake. The guy in the photos looked highly attractive—green eyes, a shaved head, a strong, square jaw line, and an impeccable sense of style. In his answers to the cheesy profile questions, he managed to seem funny and charming. I…

By: Dater X / October 5, 2010

Dater X: Crushing On A Friend

Last Wednesday morning, at approximately 10 a.m., I typed an email to my friend, Brown Eyes. I noticed as I was writing that it was taking me an unusually long amount of time to compose a four-sentence email to a friend I talk to at least a few times a week. I also noticed that…

By: Dater X / September 28, 2010