Profile for Dater X

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Dater X: Let’s Get It On

Dater X: Let's Get It On
To Bang Or Not To Bang?
Dater X: To Bang Or Not To Bang?
Dater X isn't sure she's ready to do the deed with Scar Twin just yet... Read More »

I know, I know, you’ve all been waiting with bated breath to find out if Scar Twin and I got it on. And BOY, DID WE.

You see, after I quite cathartically wrote to you all about my dilemma last week, it became evident to me that the real reason I wasn’t having sex wasn’t because I felt emotionally unready. My relationship with Scar Twin is going well, has been progressing on all levels, and I feel very confidently that this “thing” we have was (and is) headed in a positive direction. Our chemistry is undeniable, and it was obvious that we were both itching to do the deed. After all, sex is an important part of any relationship, and it’s fair to say we were both ready to see if we were as compatible in the bedroom as we are out of it. I think, underneath all of the questioning was just plain fear of rejection. Once you sleep with someone, you become vulnerable in a way you weren’t before. You’re more invested, and yes, sometimes people become attached. More than anything, I think I worried that becoming even more intimate with Scar Twin would make things hurt even worse if they didn’t work out. But then I realized that I was depriving myself of a healthy, natural thing that could take our relationship to the next step, so I said “fuck it,” and knew what I needed to do. Keep reading »

Dater X: To Bang Or Not To Bang?

Dater X: To Bang Or Not To Bang?

In the lifecycle of dating, there’s a black hole smack dab in the middle of “I’m talking to someone” and “He’s my boyfriend,” that I like to call Exclusivity Limbo. I’ve been in that spot before and I’ve detailed my time there, what with the constant questioning, confusion and uncertainty of where things stand. But even though a relationship status may remain undefined, the physical and sexual cravings just continue to escalate. So, in a predicament that could be much worse, I find myself wondering one thing: to bang or not to bang? Keep reading »

Dater X: Moving Right Along, Looking For The Red Flags

Dater X: Moving Right Along, Looking For The Red Flags
Dating Red Flags
guys
These red flags should send you running. Read More »

In dating, it’s always important to smile, laugh, respect each other and feel a mutual connection, but until now, I can honestly say I’d forgotten what it feels like to be comfortable with someone, how to be my truest self from the get-go. At no fault of my own, I feel like that missing piece wasn’t something I had much control over. I truly believe it takes the right person to draw that authenticity out of you. Sometimes it just doesn’t happen. But when it does happen, that comfort can create a little blind spot where red flags go to hide. I, more now than ever, am on the lookout for them. Keep reading »

Dater X: My Date With A Gentleman

I Like Chivalry
On Jessica's newfound respect for men who behave chivalrously. Read More »
Annoying Dating Advice
Illustrated by GIFs! Read More »
Is Chivalry Sexist?
chivalry photo
Is being a gentleman actually really sexist? Read More »
Dater X: My Date With A Gentleman

It brings me great pleasure to inform you all that I’ve gone on another successful date with Scar Twin.  After our first date, where I oh-so-gracefully mimicked JLaw’s Oscars fall on my way up the stairs at the night’s end, I was eager to redeem myself on date No. 2, and I can pretty confidently say that I did. Keep reading »

Dater X: Of Course, It’s Too Early To Know If He’s The One

Dater X: Of Course, It's Too Early To Know If He's The One
Not The One
Four signs he's not the guy for you. Read More »

For the past 10 months or so that I’ve been sharing my love life with you as Dater X, my search for a soul mate has gone from a persistent, relentless hunt to a deeper understanding of myself and of what I’m looking for in a lifelong partner. It’s not always easy to hop on here week after week and divulge my successes, failures, pain and mishaps to a world of strangers, but I choose to do it because I want to. I like it. Writing about my experiences forces me to sit back, relive and reevaluate the situations I find myself in, which is a great form of cheap therapy if you ask me. But in addition to that, I’m able to ingest all of your comments about my dating life and look at my world from a different perspective. Many of you have been down this road before, others are traveling along with me. Sometimes your comments provide sound advice, but at the end of the day, it’s my journey. I have to follow my heart and go with my gut, knowing that you’re all only seeing one small, 800-word piece of a much larger puzzle. This is one of those times. Keep reading »

Dater X: A Great Date & An Epic Fall

Dater X: A Great Date & An Epic Fall

It was only a day or so after things crashed and burned on my date with Jack when OKCupid emailed me a “match,” alerting me that someone was interested. After checking out my match’s lengthy profile, which was refreshing to see since lots of guys write the bare minimum, he seemed to have a lot of potential. He loves dogs, has a great job, appears to share my values, plays baseball, enjoys being outdoors and was pretty damn cute, to boot. I figured it couldn’t hurt to shoot him a message. Just over a week later and after many exchanges back and forth, he asked me out for drinks. Obviously, I said yes. Keep reading »

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