Dater X

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Dater X: An Ex Returns To Stir The Pot

Update: Baby Face and I are moving full steam ahead, getting together as often as possible and still having amazing sex (with only a brief hiatus during Aunt Flo’s visit), which is why it’s so typical that one of my exes resurfaced— looking all handsome like he popped right out of a J.Crew catalogue— and…

By: Dater X / October 22, 2014

Dater X: “Can I Ask You A Serious Question?”

Life is full of surprises: maybe you get pregnant without trying, win the lottery, find faith or cheat death. Other times, it’s the small, simple unexpectancies (I’m aware that “unexpectancies” isn’t a real word, but it should be) that make all the difference. Over the last few weeks, Baby Face has been my pleasant “unexpectancy.”…

By: Dater X / October 15, 2014

Dater X: The Best Sex Of My Life

Excuse me while I wander around the lovely landscape of cloud nine, because I had the best sex of my life this weekend and I’m still up here enjoying the high.

So, let’s bring it back a week. After my grandma passed away, my communications with Baby Face became more and more frequent.

By: Dater X / October 8, 2014

Dater X: Death On A Dinner Date

Unfortunately, I’m becoming a professional at going on great dates that have awful endings. There was my first date with Scar Twin, which went off without a hitch until I fell down a flight of stairs; my first (and last) date with Jack, who wrapped up our evening by insinuating that I’m a slut; and…

By: Dater X / October 1, 2014

Dater X: Just What The Doctor Ordered

This week has been an absolute shitstorm. It was one of those “when it rains, it pours” weeks that makes you want to crawl under your covers and not come out until life is back to normal. My grandmother is still dying, withering away and scared to close her eyes, while my heartbroken grandpa watche…

By: Dater X / September 24, 2014

Dater X: I Think I’m Ready For A Friend With Benefits

I’ve had a high sex drive since I was a teenager. Over the last 14 years, whether single or coupled up, I’ve been fortunate enough to never really go ‘sexless.’ In relationships— whether they last three months or three years— my libido generally maintains the momentum of that of the Energizer Bunny. I certainly don’t…

By: Dater X / September 17, 2014

Dater X: The Love I Want

I answered the phone at 10:45 p.m., worried about why my father was calling so late. It was highly unusual for a man who never calls after 8 o’clock, especially since he finally chucked his old cell phone which frequently allowed him to “butt dial” everyone on his recent calls list.

“Hi. What…

By: Dater X / September 10, 2014

Dater X: The Two-Month Curse Strikes Again

It’s been six days since Scar Twin broke up with me.

Everything had been going well until one day last week, it all just … changed. In the beginning of the week, Scar Twin had warned me about his crazy work schedule and how he was going to be busy most nights preparing…

By: Dater X / September 3, 2014

Dater X: Taking Turns, Investing Equally

This week, I found myself in a position with Scar Twin that I’ve never been in before (and no, I’m not talking about sexual positions— that’s a story for another day). Anyway, as many of you know, my last long-term relationship ended about four years ago when Patrick Bateman decided to have two girlfriends and

By: Dater X / August 27, 2014

Dater X: Let’s Get It On

I know, I know, you’ve all been waiting with bated breath to find out if Scar Twin and I got it on. And BOY, DID WE.

You see, after I quite cathartically wrote to you all about my dilemma last week, it became evident to me that the real reason I wasn’t having…

By: Dater X / August 20, 2014

Dater X: To Bang Or Not To Bang?

In the lifecycle of dating, there’s a black hole smack dab in the middle of “I’m talking to someone” and “He’s my boyfriend,” that I like to call Exclusivity Limbo. I’ve been in that spot before and I’ve detailed my time there, what with the constant questioning, confusion and uncertainty of where things stand. But…

By: Dater X / August 13, 2014

Dater X: Moving Right Along, Looking For The Red Flags

In dating, it’s always important to smile, laugh, respect each other and feel a mutual connection, but until now, I can honestly say I’d forgotten what it feels like to be comfortable with someone, how to be my truest self from the get-go. At no fault of my own, I feel like that missing piece…

By: Dater X / August 6, 2014

Dater X: My Date With A Gentleman

It brings me great pleasure to inform you all that I’ve gone on another successful date with Scar Twin.  After our first date, where I oh-so-gracefully mimicked JLaw’s Oscars fall on my way up the stairs at the night’s end, I was eager to redeem myself on date No. 2, and I can pretty confidently…

By: Dater X / July 30, 2014

Dater X: Of Course, It’s Too Early To Know If He’s The One

For the past 10 months or so that I’ve been sharing my love life with you as Dater X, my search for a soul mate has gone from a persistent, relentless hunt to a deeper understanding of myself and of what I’m looking for in a lifelong partner. It’s not always easy to hop o…

By: Dater X / July 23, 2014

Dater X: A Great Date & An Epic Fall

It was only a day or so after things crashed and burned on my date with Jack when OKCupid emailed me a “match,” alerting me that someone was interested. After checking out my match’s lengthy profile, which was refreshing to see since lots of guys write the bare minimum, he seemed to have a lot…

By: Dater X / July 15, 2014

Dater X: Three Strikes, You’re Out

Last week, I went on my first date with Jack, the young publicist I met through work. And after I tell you all what occurred on that date, I’m confident you will understand why my first date with Jack was also our last.

After taking the initiative to ask Jack out, I figured…

By: Dater X / July 9, 2014

Dater X: My First Younger Man?

To give you all an update, my Stage Five Clinger is still clinging. After several days without hearing from him, which was of course the desired result from our very matter-of-fact chat, he sent me a message over the weekend that said “Hey, thinking of you and thought I’d say hi.” I obviously completely ignored…

By: Dater X / July 2, 2014

Dater X: We’ve Got A Stage-Five Clinger, Folks

Like everybody else in America, I decided to jump on the World Cup bandwagon last week and headed to a bar after work to catch a game with friends. When one of my girlfriends showed up with a few of her co-workers, I noticed  that I’d caught the eye of one of her colleagues. Well…

By: Dater X / June 25, 2014

Dater X: Getting Back On The Horse

The first week after a breakup is always the most difficult. The rejection is fresh and the sting still burns, which makes it that much harder to remind yourself that the relationship is over, and that, despite how it feels at the time, things will get better. Those first few days are also crucial i…

By: Dater X / June 18, 2014

Dater X: A Breakup I’ll Never Forget

It went as perfectly perfect as a breakup could go, I suppose.

Only a few days after my last Dater X post, when I told you all about my hopes of moving things forward with Andrew, he came over to my place to hang out and, without warning, dropped a bomb on me.

By: Dater X / June 11, 2014