Dater X

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Dater X: Why I’m Giving Up Horoscopes

“Your allure is at an all-time high,” my horoscope told me Thursday morning. “Be bold. No one will be able to resist you this week and daring actions will be…

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Dater X: Shaking Off The Dry Spell

A wise woman—OK, Sharon Stone—once said, “Love is like the ocean. Sometimes the tide is in and sometimes the tide is out, and sometimes it’s like the frigging Mojave. Fortunately,…

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Dater X: Dating As A Non-Smoker, For The First Time

I’m in a dry spell as it is, I worried. Will being a non-smoker further kill my game?Will being a non-smoker further kill my game?This status update was from a…

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Dater X: Making The First Move

I remember watching Dan stroll into Chemistry 101. He had on a blue hoodie and was dancing to the DiscMan he held in his right hand. He sat down at…

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Dater X: I’m Rewriting My Story

Last week, I came at you with the most depressing “Dater X” ever. I was feeling sad, and lonely, not to mention disappointed after realizing that Brown Eyes and I…

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Dater X: Single Loneliness Rears Its Ugly Head

I spotted Brown Eyes across the street, leaning against a wall outside the restaurant. He looked adorable in his thick scarf, fiddling with his iPod. As I walked up, he…

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Dater X: Why Does Rejection Make Us So Angry?

I looked at his profile before I read the email he sent—a rookie online dating mistake. The guy in the photos looked highly attractive—green eyes, a shaved head, a strong,…

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Dater X: Crushing On A Friend

Last Wednesday morning, at approximately 10 a.m., I typed an email to my friend, Brown Eyes. I noticed as I was writing that it was taking me an unusually long…

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Dater X: Can Single Peeps And Those In Relationships Just Get Along?

“Dump them both!” exclaimed Sabrina, taking a sip of a gin and tonic before brushing her lush black hair out of her eyes. I’d just told her about the same…

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Dater X: Dating Two Guys At Once Isn’t All It’s Cracked Up To Be

“It’s like in ‘Rushmore’ when Bill Murray cannonballs into the pool,” I said to Goldilocks, as we sat on a park bench watching a middle-aged man run through a field…

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Dater X: The Craziest Emails I’ve Gotten Via Online Dating Sites

Earlier today, an email appeared in my inbox from OKCupid, my online dating site of choice. “New message from BananaMan5,” it read. The name was highly suspect, but I decided…

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Dater X: When A Guy Fades Out

“What are you up to tomorrow night?” The Juggler asked me last Tuesday morning. We were on the train to work, as had become our routine over the past two…

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Dater X: Am I Wasting My Time?

Here’s something I wouldn’t have guessed about The Juggler in the disastrous first 15 minutes of meeting: he’s kind of kinky. Our first date turned into a second which turned…

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Dater X: He Won Me Over In The Morning

They say that, within five minutes of meeting a guy, a woman decides whether she wants to have sex with him. But it only took me 30 seconds to know…

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Dater X: Debriefing With The Latest Ex

Not to get all touchy-feely on you guys, but I am a person who wants to improve myself. I spent months not dating so that I could figure out what…

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Dater X: Three Extreme Dude Fails — Or Were They?

“What do you do for a living?” I asked the hot guy who’d just bought me a vodka and soda. He had turquoise eyes and a freshly shaved head that…

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Dater X: My Return To Dating

You know when someone touches you for the first time? Not an incidental arm graze, but a meaningful, purposeful touch that says, “Hello, it is on.” I was standing beside…

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Dater X: I Am Done With Dating

You haven’t heard from me in a while. Apologies for the radio silence. Here is why I haven’t felt compelled to write lately: For the past three months I have…

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Dater X: A Guy Who Doesn’t Like BJs?

I sat on the couch straddling him, our chests pressed together and my hands pulling softly on his hair as we kissed. For the past half an hour, we’d been…

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Dater X: I Got Dumped For Christmas

Fine, I’ll admit it. I had many a daydream about how I was going to spend the week between Christmas and New Year’s. I was looking forward to a staycation…

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