Cracked

Read more from

6 Terrifying Things Nobody Tells You About Donating Sperm

To a young guy with not much money, sperm donation seems too good to be true. It pays well (as we've pointed out before) and requires you to do nothing more than what you'd be doing anyway. And if you happen to help a childless couple along the way, that's just icing on the cake.

By: Cracked / November 19, 2011

14 “Luxury” Sex Toys For The Extremely Rich And Creepy

Whether you're in the 99 percent or the 1 percent, sex is the one thing that unifies us all. It's not like the richest people on earth can upgrade to platinum genitals that fire aphrodisiac darts, right? Right? Well, no they can't. But it turns out that rich people have access to all sorts of…

By: Cracked / November 13, 2011

4 Pieces Of Relationship Advice Movies Need To Stop Giving

If you're anything like me, you had two parents: The Streets, and Pop Culture. When it comes to The Streets, I cannot give a higher recommendation, every kid should be so lucky to spend a few years in the school of hard knocks and so forth. As far as Pop Culture goes, however, there are…

By: Cracked / November 6, 2011

The 50 Creepiest Pieces Of Romance Advice Ever Published

Sorry, single people, this week's column is for lovers only. Now that those lonely people are gone, hold that lover close and enjoy 50 highlights from three romantic books that offer tips for every day of the year: 365 Ways to KISS Your Love365 Great Ways to Say I Love You, and 365 Ways to be Romantic by…

By: Cracked / October 29, 2011

11 Useful Products Too Embarrassing To Actually Use

Imagine a car that runs on tap water and never breaks down or needs replacement parts -- would you drive it? We forgot to mention that it's shaped like a giant clown penis. Humans are funny creatures -- we tend to shun any product, no matter how useful, if it makes us look ridiculous. That'…

By: Cracked / October 15, 2011

4 Reasons Zooey Deschanel Can Stop Pretending She’s A Dork

If you're anything like me, you track rising movie starlets through a patented system of chicken bone voodoo and Precog upkeep. It's a good system but sometimes people fall through the cracks. Like when the lil' water baldies began rolling out the name 'Zooey' over and over again, I had to consult other sources to…

By: Cracked / October 9, 2011

The 7 Types Of Friend Everyone Needs

Just like a superhero team or jewel thief gang needs each member to specialize in a different skill set, a good circle of friends also needs a wide range of useful skills. While a superhero team might need a guy who is superstrong and a guy who has a lot of gadgets, your friend team…

By: Cracked / September 17, 2011

The 5 Most Accidentally Famous Movie Stars

At the black-tie dinner party of the highest paid professionals in the world, the doctors, the lawyers, the architects and the athletes all earned their seats. They found success after years of training and discipline, even sacrificing love and friendships for the sake of a career. But somehow the actor always ends up at the…

By: Cracked / September 11, 2011

The 5 Most Depraved Sex Scenes Implied By “Harry Potter”

The Harry Potter series has sold billions of dollars worth of books, movie tickets and DVDs because it's one of those rare series that children can enjoy but won't make adults want to gouge out their eyes. Author J.K. Rowling had a way of throwing a bone to the grown-ups here and there by slipping…

By: Cracked / September 5, 2011

The 5 Least Romantic Keys To A Happy Relationship

Any old talk show psychologist can give you the business about date nights and fetish gear to keep the spark alive. That's Talk Show Psychologist Tips For Romance 101. But it takes a ballsy renegade to have the guts to let you know that saving a relationship might be about imagining the most romantic solutio…

By: Cracked / August 21, 2011

5 Incredibly Uncomfortable Yet SFW Sex Videos

The following videos and video stills contain not a single image of nudity or implied nudity. There is no sex. No drug use. No violence. But make no mistake, watching them will make you feel dirty. If someone walked up behind you, you might instinctively find yourself frantically trying to close the window before you…

By: Cracked / August 13, 2011

7 Female Behaviors That Baffle Men (Explained!)

In a previous article, I talked about some of the big questions men ask about women, about relationships and communication and all that boring stuff. But in focusing on the serious man/woman issues of our time, I missed out on other less dramatic, yet equally pressing issues, like why girls go to the bathroom together.

By: Cracked / August 6, 2011

The 16 Most Hilariously Dishonest Old School Advertisements

Modern advertising constantly straddles the line between creative marketing and straight-up bullshit. But back in the old days, advertising companies got away with winning their bread and butter through straight poker-faced lies.

By: Cracked / July 24, 2011

Stupidity Digest: 1516 Ways To Kill The Romance

Romance is a source of mystery for most men. You try to open the door for a woman and she tells you she's not coming into the men's room. You spell her name in rose petals and she spells your name on a restraining order. Romance is confusing! Luckily, I remembered something my third fifth…

By: Cracked / July 17, 2011

8 Weirdly Sexual Products You Won’t Believe Are For Kids

Raising a little girl is hard. You have all these decisions to make: schools to choose, what to feed them, how to make sure they don't grow up half as weird as you did. And of course, at some point you'll have to tell her about the birds and the bees. But all that sex…

By: Cracked / July 9, 2011

5 Awful Things Nobody Tells You About Moving

Oh, sure, you've moved before: To a better neighborhood, a bigger house or just to spite that bitch Stacy at work who said she lived in a "very exclusive neighborhood." It's not a big deal. You suffer through one s**tty weekend, buy your friends cheap beer and sub-food quality pizza in exchange for manual labor,…

By: Cracked / June 19, 2011

The 5 Least Romantic Keys To A Happy Relationship

Any old talk show psychologist can give you the business about date nights and fetish gear to keep the spark alive. That's Talk Show Psychologist Tips For Romance 101. But it takes a ballsy renegade to have the guts to let you know that saving a relationship might be about imagining the most romantic solutio…

By: Cracked / June 11, 2011

4 Romantic Books To Disgust And Annoy Your Lover

Some articles require a lengthy explanation in order to give the reader a context in which to view them. This is not one of those. What I am doing here is simple: I'm proving, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that romance guru and best-selling author of 1001 Ways to be Romantic, Gregory J.P. Godek…

By: Cracked / May 15, 2011

7 Basic Things You Won’t Believe You’re All Doing Wrong

If you're like us, you might sometimes have a problem with complex tasks, like trying to drive an ambulance and send a text message at the same time. But hey, at least most of us have figured out the simplest things that get us through the day, right? Except, you know, some of the simple…

By: Cracked / April 10, 2011

7 Bizarre Products For Dressing Up Your Genitals

In a time when everything from artificial tans to calf implants has become culturally acceptable, for some reason genitals usually get left out of the body-decoration process. The only real option until recently was choosing between carpet or hardwood floors. Not anymore! Now you have exciting options like ... #7 Vajazzling: Originally a high-end spa…

By: Cracked / April 2, 2011

1 ... 6 7 8 9 10