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6 Things No One Wants To Hear About Your Job

Boring Jobs Suck

There is no job so interesting that you cannot tell a boring story about it. Here are some things that will help you bore the hell out of people when you talk about work. Read all six on Cracked…

5 Relationship Zones Worse Than ‘The Friend Zone’

relationship-status

The Internet loves hating on “the friend zone,” because the Internet sees friendship as the highest form of torture. I’m not here to explain that “being in the friend zone” says less about the person who “put” you there than it does about the skewed way you view relationships (although, yes, someone should teach you that at some point). I am here to tell you that you’re focusing so much energy on avoiding the friend zone that you’re missing the REAL threats. Educate yourself on the five other relationship zones of torture…

10 Insane Diets No One Should Ever Try

diet-trends

It’s a new year, and that means after a month of effort, you’re ready to quit your New Year’s resolutions. Since you’re reading this in English, I assume you resolved to lose weight, or possibly to learn good the spelling for make much big dollars in email schemes of confidence. Either way, I can help you, the same way I helped that Nigerian prince when he needed to lose weight. Check out 10 insane diets to avoid on Cracked…

The 5 Craziest Things That Give People An Orgasm

7 Things To Know About Orgasmic Meditation

Orgasms. I invented them when I was 12. I was alone in the shower, my bar of Irish Spring was looking really good, I was warm, damp, and feeling adventurous. It was magical and only slightly shameful, the way I insist on all my orgasms being to this very day. Later I found out other people had stolen my idea before I could monetize it, but that’s OK. I’m a giver.

Even later in life, I discovered something most unusual, and that was that not everyone orgasms the same way. Some people use Zest! And yet others eschew a soapy left hand thrust deep in a crack altogether and have discovered bizarre new ways of orgasming that not only don’t involve hands, but don’t even involve genitals. Or, well, not exactly. Check out five crazy things that give people orgasms on Cracked…

4 Ways We’re Programmed To Think Women Aren’t Funny

unfunny-women

It can be hard being a lady in comedy, and that’s not a recent phenomenon. Ovaries have long been known to sap our joke-making powers. In 1695, a famous playwright came up with what might well be the first “women aren’t funny” line, only he said it in an old-timey way:

“I must confess, I have never made any observation of what I apprehend to be true humor in women … If ever anything does appear comical or ridiculous in a woman, I think it is little more than an acquired folly or an affectation.”

Read more on Cracked…

5 Facts Everyone Gets Wrong About Depression

depression-unhappy-woman

I was diagnosed with clinical depression about two years ago. Sadly, this didn’t lead to me beginning a wacky romance with a free-spirited girl who taught me to embrace life and love myself for who I am. I just started taking prescription drugs, made a few lifestyle changes, and felt smugly justified about listening to Joy Division.

All the time I spent not “Silver Linings Playbook”-ing it up made me realize that a lot of what I thought I knew about depression was about as accurate as what elementary school children know about where babies come from. Read all five ridiculous things often believed about depression on Cracked

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