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5 Romantic Comedy Gestures That Would Get You Slapped

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Everyone knows how romantic comedies are supposed to go: Boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy does something stupid to win girl back and somehow she falls for it — probably because of low self-esteem or the inability to recognize she’s living within rom-com constraints.

Most romantic comedy plotlines are based on the meet-cute. “Oh, we bumped into each other and are soulmates?” “Oh, we both grabbed for the same pair of gloves, then we’ll be idiots and not exchange numbers, but I’ll put my number in a BOOK and MAYBE you’ll find it if it was meant to be?” (I had two guy friends in high school who insisted we watch “Serendipity” multiple times.)

But many of the little cute things in rom-coms would be grounds for arrest, or at least a good slap. Read more on Cracked…

8 Hilariously Misleading Covers Slapped On Classic Books

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The whole “don’t judge a book by its cover” thing came about for good reason: The people who design book covers often don’t even read the books. Who has the time? Now, you wouldn’t think this would be a problem when designing the cover for a classic everyone is familiar with — you don’t have to know how to read to know what, say, The Wizard of Oz or 1984 is about.

So when those classic books fall into the hands of the rare cover artist who somehow has no idea what’s going on, that’s when hilarity ensues. See all 8 covers on Cracked…

The 7 Worst Gifts People Seem To Give Every Christmas

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As we struggle to find that perfect gift, ever so many of us will fail. As a service to everyone you even pretend to care about, I’m offering you this list of what not to buy. Consider it an anti-gift guide. I have no idea what your family likes, but I know what they hate, because no one likes this shit. Read more on Cracked…

The 7 Most Preposterous Sexual Positions People Claim to Use

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According to a pamphlet I found in the bathroom of the library downtown, there’s a lot more going on in sex than you may have guessed. For instance, did you know you can do it different ways? And with someone else? It’s quite the circus. Grab some popcorn and a clown!

In my limited sexing, I’ve enjoyed a few of the different fruits the Humptree has to offer, but there’s a lot out there, and some of it seems like it was made up just so someone could say they did it, with little consideration for the practical and, dare I say, sensual benefits of such a maneuver. Let’s take some time to go over some of the sexual repertoire that just doesn’t make a hell of a lot of sense, and see if we can’t figure out why. Read more on Cracked…

The 5 Most Undeservedly Hated Famous People Of 2013

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The 20 Most Hated Celebrities of 2013, as decided by the always reliable Star magazine, has been making lots of headlines this week. At least it’s made enough headlines that it caught my attention, and when I read it, I spotted a few entries that struck me as more than a little unfair. Naturally, because there is no bigger affront in all the world than reading something you disagree with online, I decided I needed to say something. Read more on Cracked …

5 Animal Rights Campaigns That Managed To Screw Over Animals

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Let’s face it: If good intentions were all it took to accomplish anything, we’d have fixed the world centuries ago. But a poorly thought out good idea can do just as much harm as a well-executed terrible one, and if you don’t know what we mean, just look at the animal welfare movement. Sometimes, in their single-minded efforts to make the world a better place for animals, self-proclaimed animal-rights activists actually make things a whole lot worse. Read five examples of animal rights campaigns gone wrong on Cracked…

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