We believe a lot of bullshit. But if even half it were true, the world would be in ruins and an awful place to live. See all 27 photos of urban legends in real life on Cracked… … READ MORE »
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In modern civilization, if you have a grievance with another human being, you can’t simply bash them over the head with a mastodon bone and toss them in a tar pit.
No, as the following touched souls demonstrate, you must psychologically torment your nemesis until your vendetta ends up as a blurb scored… READ MORE »
I don’t really live by mottoes because you can’t boil down life to a few sentences. But there’s a simple set of rules I keep in mind when parenting: feed them, clothe them, respect them, love them … the rest is common sense. I don’t know if I made that up or stole it from… READ MORE »
Have you ever been in love? I have. It’s fun! People ask, “Have you ever been in love?” and you get to say, “Yes. Yes I have.” There’s other good stuff, too, but I don’t have to explain that to you. You’ve seen the terrible movies and heard the awful songs.
I’ve been… READ MORE »
For centuries, science and intolerance have been natural enemies, as ideas like “everyone who isn’t me is a subpar crap smear” don’t really stand up to scrutiny.
But nowadays, some of the most backward-thinking people on the planet are finally embracing the wonderful world of science, only to twist it beyond recognition in… READ MORE »
Considering how obsessed people are with their junk, it is amazing how long it took humanity to finally figure out what it was all used for. The clitoris wasn’t fully mapped until 2005, which you may recognize as being about 160 years after the general layout of the solar system had been mapped. To be… READ MORE »
So there’s someone special in your life, and drat it all to hell, you are not someone special in their life. You are, in fact, a pretty mediocre type of someone, a flat grayish ordinary kind of blur in their life who is around and is inoffensive and that’s about it. You are, as the… READ MORE »
With few other job options available, I found myself mired in the drudgery of managing a convenience store for six damn years. Thankfully, about a year ago, my freelance writing and editing work picked up and I was finally able to make my escape. It was one of the happiest days of my life. Read… READ MORE »
On some level, we know that “Saw” is happening on a dilapidated soundstage instead of in a dilapidated bathroom, but we pretend not to so that it stays a scary movie instead of devolving into a meditation on how unkind the years have been to Cary Elwes. But sometimes seeing where these horror movies were… READ MORE »
From time to time, the local news coughs up a story that’s basically the opening 20 minutes of a horror movie — in other words, the portion of the film between the opening credits and the scene where the doomed, 38-year-old high school cheerleader goes skinny-dipping.
Here are five tales from 2013 that… READ MORE »
Over the years, I’ve made a commitment to helping you get laid. And if you followed the advice in those articles, you’re probably having some trouble reading this one because the writhing mass of naked bodies you’re currently tangled up in won’t hold still. So you’ve got the hot, meaningless sex part down, but studies show that young people are still more… READ MORE »
People like movies, and people like sex, so it’s not surprising that when there’s a physical attraction between two characters on screen, the odds are high that their genitals will soon be in contact. But sometimes strong sexual tension doesn’t explode into erotic release. The characters don’t give in to that feeling, and instead all… READ MORE »