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The 6 Most Terrifying Sex Illustrations On Wikipedia

In the days before the Internet, teenagers had basically two options to learn the ins and outs of boning. They amounted to either A) scrambled cable softcore, which was like watching two swarms of bees fighting in a motel room made of non-Euclidean geometry, or B) chancing upon a drifter’s cache of Juggs secreted away in the woods behind the neighborhood liquor store.

Nowadays, young folks don’t have to hazard a vagrant named “Clawhammer Jack” double-fisting bottles of cooking sherry to learn coital choreography. (Spoiled rotten, they are.) No, they can just turn to Wikipedia, that website known throughout the land for drowning the Encyclopedia Britannica factory in unwanted knowledge and tears. Read more…

The 6 Most Terrifying Sex Illustrations On Wikipedia

In the days before the Internet, teenagers had basically two options to learn the ins and outs of boning. They amounted to either A) scrambled cable softcore, which was like watching two swarms of bees fighting in a motel room made of non-Euclidean geometry, or B) chancing upon a drifter’s cache of Juggs secreted away in the woods behind the neighborhood liquor store.

Nowadays, young folks don’t have to hazard a vagrant named “Clawhammer Jack” double-fisting bottles of cooking sherry to learn coital choreography. (Spoiled rotten, they are.) No, they can just turn to Wikipedia, that website known throughout the land for drowning the Encyclopedia Britannica factory in unwanted knowledge and tears.

Despite being one of the most visited sites on the Internet, Wikipedia is jam-packed with marvelously janky doodles of dead-eyed humans doing it. Read more …

5 Popular Self-Help Tips That Actually Hurt Your Career

We all want to be successful, but things like tyrannical bosses, stapler-stealing co-workers and the statistical impossibility of every single person being a CEO keep bringing us down. So we try to balance the scales by following the advice of self-help books or motivational guides — sure, a lot of those things are probably bullshit, but it can’t hurt to give them a try, right?

Actually, yes. Yes, it can hurt, because several of the “tips” that you’d expect to help you are actually messing you up. It turns out you’re not a success because you do things like … Read more…

23 Romantic Movies Revised for Honesty

As we recently discussed, romantic movies are as bad for your brain as just about any type of movie you can watch as a stupid young person. We asked you to show us what they might look like if they actually told the truth. Read more…

The 6 Geekiest Sex Toys Ever

We live in the sexiest time ever. For most of history, condoms were hollowed-out sheep guts, “getting lucky” meant not contracting a plague, and the more insane religions insisted that even masturbation was a sin (despite the fact that jerking off is the literal fucking definition of “enjoying yourself without bothering anyone else”). Any god against that is both a voyeur and a killjoy.

Thanks to the Internet, the average modern teenager has seen more nudity than an orgiastic Roman emperor with X-ray vision. We’ve realized that human genitals are like LEGO: lots of fun to put together, and if you get bored with all the possible combinations, you can buy extra bits to connect. But this ability to screw absolutely everything has spilled over into, well, absolutely everything. For example: The ’80s aren’t just nostalgia, they’re subconscious urges that have been stewing in hormones for 30 years.

Sex has leaked into science fiction. And just like science fiction warned us, the real madness begins when this stuff escapes into the real world. Read more…

6 Pop Culture Icons Nobody Admits They Were Attracted To

As a child of pop culture, it should come as no little surprise that most of my psyche was formed by various cartoon and film studios and is tragically underequipped to manage real life, even to this day, which is why you can only find me on the Internet, as I tend to shun the sun like some kind of eyeless deep-cave newt.

While you can easily rely on film to teach you how to deal with everyday situations like terrorism, dinosaurs and hangovers, the sad truth is that the formation of one’s sexual identity is probably something best not placed in the hands of Bruce Willis or National Lampoon. I mean, I think.

As it happens, my sexual awakening was a slow, shameful thing spurred by a handful of pop culture icons that, for one reason or another, stirred something vaguely confusing deep inside me, and will now be used to stir something vaguely off-putting in all of you. Read more…

8 Celebrities With Unexpected Famous Relatives

You probably won’t be too shocked to learn that nepotism exists in Hollywood: If Nicolas Cage hadn’t gotten some of his earliest roles from his uncle Francis Ford Coppola, the world would be a sadder, less crazy place. But some blood connections between celebrities aren’t so easy to spot, since they exist between people you’d probably never imagine being in the same room together, let alone getting drunk and having an argument on Thanksgiving. For instance …

#8. Ewan McGregor Is the Nephew of Wedge from “Star Wars.” It would be unfair to reduce Ewan McGregor’s career to the fact that he was cast as a young Obi-Wan in the “Star Wars” prequels: The man has demonstrated his versatility by playing everything from a junkie (“Trainspotting”), to a U.S. Army Ranger (“Black Hawk Down”), to Jim Carrey’s boyfriend (“I Love You Phillip Morris”). Read more…

5 Things You Won’t Believe Math Can Predict

Look, we don’t want to take all of the magic out of life. After all, can “science” and “mathematics” quantify something as mysterious as the beauty of music, or the evil of the human spirit, or the madness of a panicked mob?

Yeah, pretty much. Get enough data, create the best algorithm, and you can get some nice pretty graphs that tell you. Read more …

The 6 Craziest Beliefs Entire Cultures Have Held About Sex

The miracle of childbirth is fairly straightforward: The baby is forced out of a screaming woman’s nether parts in a moment of bloody, agonizing … beauty? But when it comes to just how the baby got in there in the first place, people throughout history and around the world have come up with some really creative theories. We like to think we’ve got a pretty good handle on how it works at this point (it has something to do with a stork and a turkey baster, right?), but to be honest, we’d have paid way more attention in sex ed class if they’d told us these things. Read more …

7 Psychotic Pieces Of Relationship Advice From Cosmo

We get it. Guys are tough to figure out: There’s like 24 possible combinations that you can make with 1) beer 2) food 3) sex and 4) sports. No wonder their girlfriends have to resort to lady magazines to gain insight into the buzzing hive that is the male mind. We know most women laugh that stuff off as cheap entertainment not to be taken seriously, but what if they actually did listen to all of the advice?

It’d pretty much turn into a nightmare of paranoia and petty revenge. After all, according to various Cosmo articles…

#7: He Shares the Details of His Day, Therefore He Must Be Hiding Something

Men just aren’t as communicative as women, especially when they’re stressed. So, let’s say a guy makes a conscious decision to share more. That’s solid advice, no matter the source. When she asks him about his day, instead of just saying, “fine,” he can tell her in detail about his argument with Sarah, the lady from HR. Read more…

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