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Love & Sex

Maybe you didn’t know it, but Amazon.com offers sex machines. More importantly, Amazon offers customer reviews for each one of those sex machines, because even though it may not always feel like it, the Internet runs on altruism. For every Nigerian Prince, every subscription wall, every online convenience fee, there are 10 more people who… READ MORE »


News

Someone once told me drugs are bad. I think it was a man dressed like a dog, or a cartoon rabbit or something. I’ve taken that lesson to heart and only do molly after promising this will be the last time. Every time.

While we’ve all heard hilarious tales of bath salts zombies and heroin-addled… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

Just to make sure we get off on the right foot here, I should probably point out that being a dick is bad. I’ve been around the Internet too long to know that some people will read that title, skim the points, and use it as justification for being a throbbing cock shaft. That being… READ MORE »


Entertainment

Disney World is the happiest place on Earth, at least according to Disney’s copyright lawyers. That description may fit pretty well for kids and a few adults, but working here is a different matter altogether. Don’t get me wrong; it’s still a Magic Kingdom. But Disney’s “magic” is a multifaceted thing, just as liable to make… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

I bet that, for most of you, nothing would feel weirder than having your dad or brother tell you he’s now a woman. And for a certain percentage of people, the reaction to that news would be violent. The reality is that the entire concept of transgender people makes folks very uncomfortable, which means we’re simply… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

Gillian Anderson aside, we all have imperfections that define us as much as our positive points. The biggest part of growing up is not only recognizing those flaws, but making an effort to fix them. It’s not an achievable goal, mind you (how many old, bitter assholes do you know?), but it’s the effort that… READ MORE »


health

I have insomnia — the “I haven’t been able to sleep regularly in 25 years” kind. It’s extremely hard to talk about, because most people attach the term to any random night that they had trouble sleeping. “Sorry, I’m kind of loopy today. I had insomnia last night.” Mara Wilson can back me up when I say… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

Everyone knows that having a newborn baby is a hellish, sleep-deprived ordeal that is quickly forgotten when your baby grows into a “TV newborn” who smiles and laughs and melts your heart every time he does something, also known in the real world as a 3-month-old. Many kind people attempt to offer words of consolation to the… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

Think of your favorite on screen couple. Now, think of your favorite on scene couple’s sex scene.  Sexy right? Think again. The creation of a sex scene must be the unsexiest way to get it on. Learn why on Cracked…READ MORE »


Love & Sex

There is no job so interesting that you cannot tell a boring story about it. Here are some things that will help you bore the hell out of people when you talk about work. Read all six on Cracked…READ MORE »


Love & Sex

The Internet loves hating on “the friend zone,” because the Internet sees friendship as the highest form of torture. I’m not here to explain that “being in the friend zone” says less about the person who “put” you there than it does about the skewed way you view relationships (although, yes, someone should teach you… READ MORE »


News

It’s a new year, and that means after a month of effort, you’re ready to quit your New Year’s resolutions. Since you’re reading this in English, I assume you resolved to lose weight, or possibly to learn good the spelling for make much big dollars in email schemes of confidence. Either way, I can help… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

Orgasms. I invented them when I was 12. I was alone in the shower, my bar of Irish Spring was looking really good, I was warm, damp, and feeling adventurous. It was magical and only slightly shameful, the way I insist on all my orgasms being to this very day. Later I found out other… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

It can be hard being a lady in comedy, and that’s not a recent phenomenon. Ovaries have long been known to sap our joke-making powers. In 1695, a famous playwright came up with what might well be the first “women aren’t funny” line, only he said it in an old-timey way:
“I must confess,… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

I was diagnosed with clinical depression about two years ago. Sadly, this didn’t lead to me beginning a wacky romance with a free-spirited girl who taught me to embrace life and love myself for who I am. I just started taking prescription drugs, made a few lifestyle changes, and felt smugly justified about listening to… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

Meeting new people sucks. Well, at least it does for people like us — people who would rather eat a bar of soap than endure the awkward juggling of social rules and misreading of body language that comes with human contact. Confident, practiced people will tell you it’s as easy as walking up to a… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

Everyone seems to have a pretty good idea of what marriage is like right up until the honeymoon anesthesia wears off and they can start to feel life’s groin shots again. Sometimes that takes a few years — sometimes it happens right out of the gates. But it eventually does happen, and how you handle… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

January seems to be the worst time of year for realizing how screwed up your life is. Everyone is talking about resolutions. You’re recovering from all the money you spent on the holidays. Taxes are coming up. It’s the month your parole gets repeatedly denied. It’s the month that says, “Here’s a shitload of enormous… READ MORE »



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