Some articles require a lengthy explanation in order to give the reader a context in which to view them. This is not one of those. What I am doing here is simple: I’m proving, beyond any shadow of a doubt, that romance guru and best-selling author of 1001 Ways to be Romantic, Gregory J.P. Godek is the stupidest, laziest waste of stem cells to ever “write” a book. Every time Godek’s semeny, pizza-covered fingers touch his keyboard, the world’s collective I.Q. drops. Read more… Keep reading »
If you’re like us, you might sometimes have a problem with complex tasks, like trying to drive an ambulance and send a text message at the same time. But hey, at least most of us have figured out the simplest things that get us through the day, right?
Except, you know, some of the simple things we’ve done every day of our lives, like … Keep reading »
In a time when everything from artificial tans to calf implants has become culturally acceptable, for some reason genitals usually get left out of the body-decoration process. The only real option until recently was choosing between carpet or hardwood floors. Not anymore! Now you have exciting options like …
#7 Vajazzling: Originally a high-end spa treatment where a wax job was finished by attaching Swarovski crystals in decorative patterns to the waxed area, vajazzling was introduced to the mainstream by Jennifer Love Hewitt, who is apparently something of a matron saint of this and a huge aficionado herself. Read more… Keep reading »
The courtship process used to be a lot simpler. You used to cruise around in a Firebird and girls would be there, and then there’d be something called heavy petting, and then you were married. The whole process took about three weeks, and could be sped up if the Firebird had been recently washed. The only potentially tricky part was if you had to negotiate a dowry, and that usually wasn’t required unless your bride was Indian or incredibly ugly. Since then, things have gotten far more involved. With our cell phones and our STDs and our Craig’s lists, the courtship process has become incredibly complicated and dangerous, more filled with dangerous loners and viruses and spyware than ever before. Keep reading »
Vatsyayana’s Kama Sutra was a strategy guide for the interaction of penises and vaginas in Gupta-era India (320 to 550 CE), meant to be read by sexual partners to enhance their lovemaking. Well, it turns out there’s a big difference between adopting moral platitudes from thousands of years ago, and trying out their sex advice. Some of the “tips” from the Kama Sutra seem to be setting people up for serious injury should they be performed incorrectly, or in some cases, if they’re performed at all. Read more … Keep reading »
There are some universally acknowledged truths when it comes to dating. These themes are repeated on sitcoms, in romantic comedies, and in your friends’ hookup stories they swear are true.
And, according to science, most of it is wrong. That’s right; somehow, you know even less about romance than you thought you did. Read more … Keep reading »