A new year is upon us, and that means we need to arbitrarily decide some things will be different, solely based on the fact that Earth has completed another cycle around the sun in a way that proves nothing other than physics are still working. To start, let’s work on language. We have a whole… READ MORE »
Marketing products to children isn’t particularly hard. Just throw a bunch of skateboards and neon backwards caps into your commercial and kids will want the shit out of whatever you’re selling. But for some reason, plenty of companies out there still think that little girls want nothing to do with things like LEGOs or NERF… READ MORE »
In 2008 Lady Gaga gave the world the gift of a song where she refers to her vagina as a Christmas tree, suggesting that she has a serious misunderstanding of how at least one of those works. Between that and other recent tracks, like Nate Dogg rapping about getting holiday head and the beloved family… READ MORE »
Ahh, l’amour. Or, as the French call it, “le humpy jumpy.” It’s a funny thing us humans do to each other, getting all stupid in love with one another, touching tongues, watching Jennifer Aniston films, and feeling this intense longing for the presence of someone else in a way that curiously wanes over time and… READ MORE »
There is a bitter debate over racism these days — specifically, whether or not it still exists in a way that actually matters. The argument against goes something like, “Sure, there are neo-Nazis and KKK and YouTube comment sections out there, but we’ve got a black president, for Christ’s sake! Racism has been banished to… READ MORE »
For the majority of people, sex is the most compelling thing in the world, for obvious “perpetuation of the species” reasons. Sex sells. Sex rules. Sex draws the eyes to this paragraph like a tractor beam, because the word “sex” is in it like a million times. But there are people out there with no… READ MORE »
Once upon a time, a bunch of prehistoric horror-wolves realized that the clumsy species of spear-flinging monkeys they were snacking on would trade belly rubs and a place by the fire if they occasionally mauled something on command. Since then, man and canine have peacefully waltzed together through the annals of time. Thanks to this… READ MORE »
Whoomp there it is. There what is? My bad. Chill, home slice, because I am going to explain the situation — the ’90s were da bomb! Booya! Not.
If you were actually born in the ’90s, you don’t really remember the ’90s. Sorry. If it’s any consolation, I am closer to death than… READ MORE »
I have plenty of friends who have met their significant others online and, with zero exceptions, these relationships are composed of two people who are definitely perfect for each other and are exactly the kind of thing I want for myself. That’s why I decided to try online dating.
Also, nearly every word… READ MORE »
Only half a century ago, homosexuality was society’s worst-kept secret — everyone knew it existed, but you didn’t see gay people on TV or movies, and you didn’t talk about them at Thanksgiving dinner. Understandably, there were a lot of ridiculous misconceptions about the homosexual community back then, but today there shouldn’t be any excuse… READ MORE »
Although books are a frequent source of inspiration for filmmakers, Hollywood doesn’t always see eye-to-eye with the authors of those books, because books are for nerds, so who cares what they think. Understandably, this often doesn’t sit well with the writers. But it doesn’t mean the author is always right — in fact, some of… READ MORE »
We think we have a rough idea of how porn movies work: actors shoot dozens of films a week, everyone’s on drugs all the time, corny music plays constantly, etc. We’ve gone deeper (giggle) into the world of porn with this piece about life as a male porn star. But that man was controlling the… READ MORE »