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5 Basic Rules Guys Can’t Seem To Follow On Dating Websites

I have plenty of friends who have met their significant others online and, with zero exceptions, these relationships are composed of two people who are definitely perfect for each other and are exactly the kind of thing I want for myself. That’s why I decided to try online dating.
Also, nearly every word of that…

Cracked / November 5, 2014

6 Outdated Myths People Still Believe About Homosexuality

Only half a century ago, homosexuality was society’s worst-kept secret — everyone knew it existed, but you didn’t see gay people on TV or movies, and you didn’t talk about them at Thanksgiving dinner. Understandably, there were a lot of ridiculous misconceptions about the homosexual community back then, but today there shouldn’t be any excuse…

Cracked / October 31, 2014

7 Film Adaptations The Author Hated (For Ridiculous Reasons)

Although books are a frequent source of inspiration for filmmakers, Hollywood doesn’t always see eye-to-eye with the authors of those books, because books are for nerds, so who cares what they think. Understandably, this often doesn’t sit well with the writers. But it doesn’t mean the author is always right — in fact, some of…

Cracked / October 26, 2014

7 Horrifying Lessons Learned Directing A Porno

We think we have a rough idea of how porn movies work: actors shoot dozens of films a week, everyone’s on drugs all the time, corny music plays constantly, etc. We’ve gone deeper (giggle) into the world of porn with this piece about life as a male porn star. But that man was controlling the…

Cracked / October 19, 2014

4 Reasons The “Full House” Reunion Should Be A Reality Show

Hey, everyone who just refuses to let the 1990s go, a Full House revival is once again in talks, but this time, it might actually happen! Original executive producers Jeff Franklin and Bob Boyett — as well as a number of original cast members — are all on board to mine your nostalgia for dollar…

Cracked / September 25, 2014

5 Current TV Shows That Get More Praise Than They Deserve

Listen, I get it. People like what people like, and, with so many options available, complaining about the inferior choices made by others is kind of pointless and petty when you could just as easily skip those things altogether in favor of something else. So, in that respect, that I’m about to spend a couple…

Cracked / September 21, 2014

3 Reasons To Never Use The Term ‘Friendzone’

I’m writing about sex this week — specifically, the situation in which certain men complain about being “friendzoned” by women who choose not to see them sexually. Now, I recognize that sex is a highly-charged, volatile, and subjective issue, so it’s my goal to remain as logical and objective as possible as I urge all…

Cracked / September 9, 2014

What Our Reaction To The Nude Celeb Leaks Says About Us

A few days ago, the naked, personal photos of over 100 celebrities including Jennifer Lawrence, Kate Upton, and Ariana Grande were published to the Internet without consent from the people pictured. A few of the celebrities have responded (they’re not happy!) and most of the pictures have since been taken down, but you can still…

Cracked / September 5, 2014

7 Adventures I Had As The World’s Biggest Pot Smuggler

Nowadays, America grows her own weed, and The Man eases up more and more on the pot industry every year. Last week we got the lowdown on the strange and sometimes dangerous world of legal marijuana in 2014, but if you want to know how we got here, you need to talk to somebody from…

Cracked / August 29, 2014

6 Surprising Realities Of The Legal Weed Industry

Pot is more popular and more legal than it’s ever been. Well, at least since lawmakers first started using it as an excuse to arrest Mexicans. It’s been outright legalized in Washington, Colorado, and the city of Portland, Maine. Meanwhile, legions of legal medical growers across California and 22 other states have helped turn weed…

Cracked / August 28, 2014

5 Ways Life With Tourette’s Is Way Weirder Than You Expect

Tourette’s syndrome is an easy gag for cheap comedians, but it’s also a very real condition that affects 1 in 360 children in the United States. Have you ever wondered what it’s like to go through life constantly screaming profanities? Shit, we could tell you all about that. But what is it like to do so uncontrollably? We…

Cracked / August 17, 2014

4 Terrible Messages That Girl-Centered Ads Are Sending

The Internet has exploded in an estrogen-charged fury of pro-girl viral ads, each more emotionally manipulative than the last. And it’s a good thing, because prior to the summer of 2014, American girls were languishing in princess towers, completely clueless that they had any value beyond their homemaking and boob-flashing skills.
As a grown woma…

Cracked / August 10, 2014

5 Tips for Working From Home Without Going Insane

Working from home has all the advantages of supervillainy: You set the rules, no one can stop your monologues, and Internet access will cause your contempt for humanity to grow. Most online “tips for working from home” are softballing participation trophies for toddlers. Their idea of advice is “Remember to do some work” and “Try…

Cracked / August 3, 2014

5 Uncomfortable Truths About Rape On College Campuses

The frustrating part for me, as a Hobart and William Smith grad (technically just a Hobart grad, because it’s actually two schools that share faculty, campus, dorms, and an administration), is that it’s not that surprising. It was well-known for my entire four years that the campus was what I should probably call “a le…

Cracked / July 26, 2014

5 BS “Achievements” People Need To Stop Taking Seriously

Read any list of things that motivate employees to work harder and you’ll find that recognition for a job well done regularly outranks money. If I had to guess, I’d say that’s probably because the only people who bother to write lists like those are companies that want to pay you less than you deserve.

Cracked / July 6, 2014

5 “Deviant” Sex Acts That Science Says Are Good For You

Sex is like a lifelong normalcy contest. To find happiness, you should spend every day worrying about the kinds of sex you like, and whether you’ll ever meet someone else who shares those likes. Then you comfort your untouched body by rubbing your hands all over it, wet though they may be with the sweat…

Cracked / June 25, 2014

8 Ridiculous Sex Toys For The Budget-Conscious

Humans love sex, and humans love toys. Sex toys are a thing. We tend to think they’re alright, too.
But here’s the thing about sex toys: All the really cool (and really frightening) gear tends to cost you a big ol’ pile of cash. Have you ever wondered what an inquiring mind could achieve with just…

Cracked / June 21, 2014

4 Offensive Words That Started Out As The Polite Alternative

Euphemisms are words and phrases we use when we want to avoid saying something naughty or unpleasant to think about. For example, “choking the chicken,” which on the surface sounds like a beautiful, natural act, is actually a description of something that is pretty disgusting. But even though we use a euphemism so we don’t have…

Cracked / June 11, 2014

5 Things Your Doctor Really Wants To Say To You (But Won’t)

Doctors — especially surgeons — are expected to maintain a sense of decorum and professionalism at all times. I’m a board-certified neurosurgeon at a major American academic center, and while medicine is an incredibly rewarding career, it puts you in contact with a lot of people doing dumb, terrible things to their bodies. So, o…

Cracked / June 10, 2014

5 Shockingly Insane “Game Of Thrones” Fanfiction Sex Scenes

One of the few criticisms of Game of Thrones is that it relies too much on gratuitous sex scenes. But some fans look at the franchise and decide that there isn’t nearly enough inappropriate boning. These special people write fan fiction that will make it impossible to ever read the books or watch the show again without feeling dirty i…

Cracked / June 10, 2014

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