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6 Insane Sex Myths People Used To Teach As Facts

Old Sex Myths

Considering how obsessed people are with their junk, it is amazing how long it took humanity to finally figure out what it was all used for. The clitoris wasn’t fully mapped until 2005, which you may recognize as being about 160 years after the general layout of the solar system had been mapped. To be fair, at least we don’t treat the clitoris like a campfire ghost story, or set people on fire for having an extra nipple, or assure women that the cause for all of their ailments was a powerful need to masturbate. If you’d been born in a different time, you’d have been 100 percent invested in all three of those ideas, plus a handful of other wacky beliefs about the human underwear zone. Read all six sex myths on Cracked…

4 Friend Zone Cheat Codes (According To The Internet)

according to the internet

So there’s someone special in your life, and drat it all to hell, you are not someone special in their life. You are, in fact, a pretty mediocre type of someone, a flat grayish ordinary kind of blur in their life who is around and is inoffensive and that’s about it. You are, as the great thinkers of our age have dubbed it, in the “friend zone,” and would like nothing more than to get out of this horrible zone and have that special someone love you and sit on you. Read more on Cracked…

5 Horrible Things You Learn Working At A Convenience Store

Barista Wants You To Know
50 things your barista wishes he could tell you. Read More »
Restaurant Server Secrets
40 things your waiter really wants you to know! Read More »
Man Aisle At Store
man grocery store
Grocery store launches a "man aisle" in a dopey publicity stunt. Read More »
Grocery Store Cashier

With few other job options available, I found myself mired in the drudgery of managing a convenience store for six damn years. Thankfully, about a year ago, my freelance writing and editing work picked up and I was finally able to make my escape. It was one of the happiest days of my life. Read five reasons why on Cracked…

5 Photos That Will Shatter Your Image Of Horror Movie Locations

On some level, we know that “Saw” is happening on a dilapidated soundstage instead of in a dilapidated bathroom, but we pretend not to so that it stays a scary movie instead of devolving into a meditation on how unkind the years have been to Cary Elwes. But sometimes seeing where these horror movies were filmed is so jarring that it makes it impossible to think of them the same way. Read more at Cracked…

5 News Stories That Are Basically Horror Movie Plots

From time to time, the local news coughs up a story that’s basically the opening 20 minutes of a horror movie — in other words, the portion of the film between the opening credits and the scene where the doomed, 38-year-old high school cheerleader goes skinny-dipping.

Here are five tales from 2013 that are destined to someday be slapped with a screamingly obnoxious “BASED ON TRUE EVENTS” tag line. Read more at Cracked…

5 Ways You Sabotage Your Love Life (Explained By Science)

Over the years, I’ve made a commitment to helping you get laid. And if you followed the advice in those articles, you’re probably having some trouble reading this one because the writhing mass of naked bodies you’re currently tangled up in won’t hold still. So you’ve got the hot, meaningless sex part down, but studies show that young people are still more interested in relationships than hookups, and, despite the sky-high divorce rate, the vast majority of people still want to get married one day.

You’re Looking For A Soul Mate: While your grandmother probably prayed that her future husband would be a caring father or know how to raise a barn or just be a supernatural hump machine (pausing to let that image sink in), these days it seems everyone is hoping to find their “soul mate.” And while it may sound romantic, in reality trying to find your soul mate can lead to The Last Airbender levels of disappointment. Read more on Cracked…

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