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7 Horrifying Lessons Learned Directing A Porno

7 Horrifying Lessons Learned Directing A Porno

We think we have a rough idea of how porn movies work: actors shoot dozens of films a week, everyone’s on drugs all the time, corny music plays constantly, etc. We’ve gone deeper (giggle) into the world of porn with this piece about life as a male porn star. But that man was controlling the dick — who controls the man who controls the dick? Some questions need answers. So we sat down with “Reno Nevada,” a man who found himself thrown unwittingly into the role of porn director several years ago. Here’s what he learned making his first (and only) filmic masturbatory aid. Read More On Cracked…

4 Reasons The “Full House” Reunion Should Be A Reality Show

4 Reasons The Full House Reunion Should Be A Reality Show

Hey, everyone who just refuses to let the 1990s go, a Full House revival is once again in talks, but this time, it might actually happen! Original executive producers Jeff Franklin and Bob Boyett — as well as a number of original cast members — are all on board to mine your nostalgia for dollar signs.

But according to actor Blake Tuomy-Wilhoit, who played one of Uncle Jesse’s mutant twin children and was not invited to participate in the reunion, “As far as I know, the new show is not a [Full House reunion] … it will revolve around a few characters from the show though.” Adding even more fuel to this speculative fire is the fact that John Stamos, Dave Coulier, and Bob Saget have been making an unusual number of public appearances together. This seems to suggest that the new series will be about three old men living together in San Francisco, which is less of a sitcom and more of an excerpt from a census report. Read more on Cracked…

5 Current TV Shows That Get More Praise Than They Deserve

5 Current TV Shows That Get More Praise Than They Deserve

Listen, I get it. People like what people like, and, with so many options available, complaining about the inferior choices made by others is kind of pointless and petty when you could just as easily skip those things altogether in favor of something else. So, in that respect, that I’m about to spend a couple thousand words of column space explaining why the shows a lot of you enjoy are a little more beloved than they deserve to be might seem like kind of a dick move. Read more on Cracked…

 

3 Reasons To Never Use The Term ‘Friendzone’

3 Reasons To Not Use The Term Friendzone

I’m writing about sex this week — specifically, the situation in which certain men complain about being “friendzoned” by women who choose not to see them sexually. Now, I recognize that sex is a highly-charged, volatile, and subjective issue, so it’s my goal to remain as logical and objective as possible as I urge all men to completely remove “friendzoned” from their vocabulary — especially when they’re using it to deride a woman’s sexual choices.

First, what does “frieindzoned” even mean? Basically, a man who’s complaining about being “friendzoned” by a woman is upset that this woman sees him in only a non-sexual manner, or only as a friend. But before we examine all three scenarios where a man would make such a complaint, and why he would be wrong to do so, let’s take a step back and see what kind of men we’re talking about. Read more on Cracked…

What Our Reaction To The Nude Celeb Leaks Says About Us

Jennifer Lawrence nudes

A few days ago, the naked, personal photos of over 100 celebrities including Jennifer Lawrence, Kate Upton, and Ariana Grande were published to the Internet without consent from the people pictured. A few of the celebrities have responded (they’re not happy!) and most of the pictures have since been taken down, but you can still probably find them by Googling “Hello, I’m kind of a shitty person, give me something that does not legally belong to me as quickly as possible.”

Before we get into this, here’s a point of order regarding language that I’d like to address: I’m going to be making a concerted effort to use the word “stolen,” instead of “leaked” when I talk about these photos and “women” instead of “celebrity” or “A-List Stars” when I talk about the victims. Also, I’m going to use the word “victim,” because what we’re talking about is a crime. Read more on Cracked…

7 Adventures I Had As The World’s Biggest Pot Smuggler

7 Adventures I Had As The World's Biggest Pot Smuggler

Nowadays, America grows her own weed, and The Man eases up more and more on the pot industry every year. Last week we got the lowdown on the strange and sometimes dangerous world of legal marijuana in 2014, but if you want to know how we got here, you need to talk to somebody from back in the day. In the 1970s, there were no dispensaries in California, much less legal recreational shops. There was, however, Brian O’Dea and his merry band of pot smugglers.

We talked with Brian to find out just how he rose to become one of the continent’s leading drug importers, and how it all went cock-bendingly wrong in the end. Here’s what he had to say. Read more on Cracked…

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