Cracked

6 Movies Based On A True Story That Left Out Important Stuff

Over the years, we've poked fun at a lot of "based on a true story" movies that turned out to be bullshit. But then we thought that maybe we should stop giving Hollywood shit for embellishing history a bit if it lets them tell a slightly better story. So instead, we decided to give Hollywood…
By: Cracked / March 31, 2015

6 Sex Toy Companies Disguised As Household Products

As teenagers, we all went through that phase where everything in your house looks like a vagina or a penis, depending on your preference -- it's the one thing American Pie got right about the human condition. Most grow out of that phase eventually, while others start companies devoted to turning everyday items into thing…
By: Cracked / March 24, 2015

5 Disastrous Ways People Tried To Make Porn A Reality

Because of porn's world-controlling nature, it's not much of a surprise to find out that it bleeds into real life. I'm not just talking about the whole "let's change positions every two minutes for no reason" thing that the more athletic of us attempt. I'm talking about real people pulling porn into reality, with some…
By: Cracked / March 15, 2015

The 16 Most Terrifying Dating Profiles Possible

Online dating, despite all the success stories, can still be a pretty dicey thing. So much so that sometimes you just wish these sites would hire full-time screeners to weed out the nutbags. But until they do, we asked our readers to use the power of image manipulation and show us some profiles that will…
By: Cracked / March 14, 2015

5 Fitness Myths You Believe (That Don’t Work At All)

We're all interested in fitness, or at least in maintaining the idea that we might start getting fit any day now; man, get off our back. As such, there are tons and tons of advice out there on how to tone your body into a veritable machine made of health and sexiness. And a to…
By: Cracked / February 23, 2015

8 Things Some Asshole Says In Every Debate About Sexism

Feminism! And with that one word, I've already set the world speed record for turning a comment section into a septic tank. As a guy writing on the Internet, I'm not the right demographic to tell you about feminism, but I'm absolutely the right demographic to tell you about the assholes reacting against it. …
By: Cracked / February 20, 2015

5 Ways America’s Justice System Is Designed To Screw You

You've heard it in 10,000 cop shows: "You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you." As much as people tend to hate on lawyers, that moment when you have your face crammed into the hood of a squad car is when most decide those appointed…
By: Cracked / February 2, 2015

5 Things People Don’t Get About Borderline Personalities

It's not everyone who can watch a horror thriller, point at the villain and say, "Hey, that's me!" But you can if you have  borderline personality disorder -- that's the condition that Hollywood loves to scare the shit out of men with in movies like  "Fatal Attraction." Any movie of that "woman seems OK…
By: Cracked / January 28, 2015

5 Things You Don’t Know About Strippers (Until You Are One)

If prostitution is the world's oldest profession, stripping may very well be the second oldest -- it all depends on exactly when the first uptight humans decided people shouldn't walk around with their most enticing bits flopping nakedly in the wind. As soon as clothing became the norm, taking that clothing off became a profitable gig for…
By: Cracked / January 27, 2015

5 Things Every Snob Says (Confirmed By Science)

Well, this is kind of a tragedy. I started out researching this column with the intention of writing "5 Snobby Comments Science Says Aren't True," but clearly the research just didn't shake out. Time after time, I kept discovering that the most obnoxious, condescending, scarf-wearing douchebags in the world are correct, justified, and [some third…
By: Cracked / January 22, 2015

9 Stupid Words We Should Retire In 2015

A new year is upon us, and that means we need to arbitrarily decide some things will be different, solely based on the fact that Earth has completed another cycle around the sun in a way that proves nothing other than physics are still working. To start, let's work on language. We have a whole…
By: Cracked / January 21, 2015

5 Ridiculously Sexist Ways Toy Companies Are Targeting Kids

Marketing products to children isn't particularly hard. Just throw a bunch of skateboards and neon backwards caps into your commercial and kids will want the shit out of whatever you're selling. But for some reason, plenty of companies out there still think that little girls want nothing to do with things like LEGOs or NERF…
By: Cracked / December 30, 2014

8 Vintage Christmas Carols (That Are All About Sex)

In 2008 Lady Gaga gave the world the gift of a song where she refers to her vagina as a Christmas tree, suggesting that she has a serious misunderstanding of how at least one of those works. Between that and other recent tracks, like Nate Dogg rapping about getting holiday head and the beloved family…
By: Cracked / December 25, 2014

4 Stupid Ways Everyone Deals With Breakups

Ahh, l'amour. Or, as the French call it, "le humpy jumpy." It's a funny thing us humans do to each other, getting all stupid in love with one another, touching tongues, watching Jennifer Aniston films, and feeling this intense longing for the presence of someone else in a way that curiously wanes over time and…
By: Cracked / December 15, 2014

5 Studies That Prove Racism Is Still Way Worse Than We Think

There is a bitter debate over racism these days -- specifically, whether or not it still exists in a way that actually matters. The argument against goes something like, "Sure, there are neo-Nazis and KKK and YouTube comment sections out there, but we've got a black president, for Christ's sake! Racism has been banished to…
By: Cracked / December 14, 2014

6 Weird Ways The World Looks Different When You’re Asexual

For the majority of people, sex is the most compelling thing in the world, for obvious "perpetuation of the species" reasons. Sex sells. Sex rules. Sex draws the eyes to this paragraph like a tractor beam, because the word "sex" is in it like a million times. But there are people out there with no…
By: Cracked / November 27, 2014

5 Adorable Behaviors That Mean Your Dog Hates You

Once upon a time, a bunch of prehistoric horror-wolves realized that the clumsy species of spear-flinging monkeys they were snacking on would trade belly rubs and a place by the fire if they occasionally mauled something on command. Since then, man and canine have peacefully waltzed together through the annals of time. Thanks to thi…
By: Cracked / November 15, 2014

Why Everything You Believe About The ’90s Is Wrong

Whoomp there it is. There what is? My bad. Chill, home slice, because I am going to explain the situation -- the '90s were da bomb! Booya! Not. If you were actually born in the '90s, you don't really remember the '90s. Sorry. If it's any consolation, I am closer to death than you are,…
By: Cracked / November 10, 2014

5 Basic Rules Guys Can’t Seem To Follow On Dating Websites

I have plenty of friends who have met their significant others online and, with zero exceptions, these relationships are composed of two people who are definitely perfect for each other and are exactly the kind of thing I want for myself. That's why I decided to try online dating. Also, nearly every word of that…
By: Cracked / November 5, 2014

6 Outdated Myths People Still Believe About Homosexuality

Only half a century ago, homosexuality was society's worst-kept secret -- everyone knew it existed, but you didn't see gay people on TV or movies, and you didn't talk about them at Thanksgiving dinner. Understandably, there were a lot of ridiculous misconceptions about the homosexual community back then, but today there shouldn't be any excuse…
By: Cracked / October 31, 2014

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