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Let’s say that tomorrow you are elected Secret Ruler of the USA, a position that gives you total power over the government, economy, and the culture at large — everything that hippies refer to as “the system.” Now, your first job is to not get beheaded by rioting peasants, which means your first job is… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

If the Internet underbelly is to be believed, fictional characters have a lot of sex. And although we aren’t buying all the moist, dangerous, slimy fornicating some imagine they’re doing, we do think there is something to them wanting to get a little TLC every now and again.

And that’s where you come… READ MORE »


Celebs

Over the years, we’ve poked fun at a lot of “based on a true story” movies that turned out to be bullshit. But then we thought that maybe we should stop giving Hollywood shit for embellishing history a bit if it lets them tell a slightly better story. So instead, we decided to give Hollywood… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

As teenagers, we all went through that phase where everything in your house looks like a vagina or a penis, depending on your preference — it’s the one thing American Pie got right about the human condition. Most grow out of that phase eventually, while others start companies devoted to turning everyday items into things… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

Because of porn’s world-controlling nature, it’s not much of a surprise to find out that it bleeds into real life. I’m not just talking about the whole “let’s change positions every two minutes for no reason” thing that the more athletic of us attempt. I’m talking about real people pulling porn into reality, with some… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

Online dating, despite all the success stories, can still be a pretty dicey thing. So much so that sometimes you just wish these sites would hire full-time screeners to weed out the nutbags. But until they do, we asked our readers to use the power of image manipulation and show us some profiles that will… READ MORE »


Style

We’re all interested in fitness, or at least in maintaining the idea that we might start getting fit any day now; man, get off our back. As such, there are tons and tons of advice out there on how to tone your body into a veritable machine made of health and sexiness. And a ton… READ MORE »


News

Feminism! And with that one word, I’ve already set the world speed record for turning a comment section into a septic tank. As a guy writing on the Internet, I’m not the right demographic to tell you about feminism, but I’m absolutely the right demographic to tell you about the assholes reacting against it. Read moreREAD MORE »


News

You’ve heard it in 10,000 cop shows: “You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you.” As much as people tend to hate on lawyers, that moment when you have your face crammed into the hood of a squad car is when most decide those appointed… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

It’s not everyone who can watch a horror thriller, point at the villain and say, “Hey, that’s me!” But you can if you have  borderline personality disorder — that’s the condition that Hollywood loves to scare the shit out of men with in movies like  “Fatal Attraction.” Any movie of that “woman seems OK at first,… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

If prostitution is the world’s oldest profession, stripping may very well be the second oldest — it all depends on exactly when the first uptight humans decided people shouldn’t walk around with their most enticing bits flopping nakedly in the wind. As soon as clothing became the norm, taking that clothing off became a profitable gig for… READ MORE »


News

Well, this is kind of a tragedy. I started out researching this column with the intention of writing “5 Snobby Comments Science Says Aren’t True,” but clearly the research just didn’t shake out. Time after time, I kept discovering that the most obnoxious, condescending, scarf-wearing douchebags in the world are correct, justified, and [some third… READ MORE »


News

A new year is upon us, and that means we need to arbitrarily decide some things will be different, solely based on the fact that Earth has completed another cycle around the sun in a way that proves nothing other than physics are still working. To start, let’s work on language. We have a whole… READ MORE »


News

Marketing products to children isn’t particularly hard. Just throw a bunch of skateboards and neon backwards caps into your commercial and kids will want the shit out of whatever you’re selling. But for some reason, plenty of companies out there still think that little girls want nothing to do with things like LEGOs or NERF… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

In 2008 Lady Gaga gave the world the gift of a song where she refers to her vagina as a Christmas tree, suggesting that she has a serious misunderstanding of how at least one of those works. Between that and other recent tracks, like Nate Dogg rapping about getting holiday head and the beloved family… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

Ahh, l’amour. Or, as the French call it, “le humpy jumpy.” It’s a funny thing us humans do to each other, getting all stupid in love with one another, touching tongues, watching Jennifer Aniston films, and feeling this intense longing for the presence of someone else in a way that curiously wanes over time and… READ MORE »


News

There is a bitter debate over racism these days — specifically, whether or not it still exists in a way that actually matters. The argument against goes something like, “Sure, there are neo-Nazis and KKK and YouTube comment sections out there, but we’ve got a black president, for Christ’s sake! Racism has been banished to… READ MORE »


Love & Sex

For the majority of people, sex is the most compelling thing in the world, for obvious “perpetuation of the species” reasons. Sex sells. Sex rules. Sex draws the eyes to this paragraph like a tractor beam, because the word “sex” is in it like a million times. But there are people out there with no… READ MORE »



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