We’ve probably all had a crush on a celebrity at some point. Maybe you loved Kirk Cameron or Jonathan Taylor Thomas growing up, but these days your tastes lean towards Jon Hamm or Channing Tatum. However, rarely does your new crush show up at the party you’re at.
Years ago, I became mildly obsessed with … let’s call him Charlie … after I saw him in a horror flick. I’d like to say he was talented, but mostly he was just ridiculously hot. After some cyber stalking, I found out he was single, living in Los Angeles, had been in some decent movies, and was now working on a police drama TV show I’d never heard of (thanks IMDB).
Around this same time, my best friend started dating an actor whose career was on the rise. He and his friends would have parties up in the Hollywood Hills. A typical Hollywood party usually consists of a modern house owned by who the hell knows and 30 skinny model/actresses wandering around with drinks. There are always C-listers in attendance. After some awkward staring, you realize that you’re looking at someone from a WB show (yes WB before it was CW, hence C-list). Sometimes reality TV stars pop us at these parties. “America’s Next Top Model” and “American Idol” contestants seem to the most popular. It’s a weird world. No one is technically famous, but deep down everyone is happy to be at a party with C-listers and reality stars. It was at one of these parties that I spotted my hot crush Charlie. Keep reading »
Women have no secrets. Not really. We readily spill the beans about everything from the guy we hooked up with to our marital problems. Discussing our lives is the glue that keeps book clubs together. But there’s something we need to talk more openly about: penis size.
Not that we haven’t been discussing size, but we’ve only been doing it in hushed voices after several martinis. Why? Because men have made size a taboo subject, even though they’re the ones who are obsessed with it.
Our silence isn’t helping. Men foolishly seem to think size is a big deal, or the only deal. This is evidenced by the overwhelming amount of emails for penis enlargement procedures clogging up my spam folder. Men get hung up on equating their masculinity or their sexual prowess with their penis size. That couldn’t be further from the truth, at least, from the female perspective. Keep reading »
Breakups suck. Despite all the lessons and advice our parents teach us, nothing really prepares us to fall in love with someone and then have that person choose not to be with us anymore. With a broken heart and a shattered ego, our brain demands explanations.We crave resolution and closure. But we rarely get what we desire. One magical date and he didn’t call again, why? Two weeks of texting and flirting on Facebook and then nothing, why? One month spent dating a guy you were ambivalent about only to have him dump you, why?
Frankly, asking why is a colossal waste of time. Keep this word in your back pocket every time you are tempted to contemplate a dating scenario gone awry: Next. Next is your best friend when it comes to dating, hook-ups, friends with benefits, and all the rest. Keep reading »
Remember that hot guy in high school who dated every girl in his class, despite treating every one of them like crap? Why was this possible? Because women suffer from It Will Be Different With Me Syndrome. Sadly, it’s usually never different. Men aren’t rocket science. In fact, they are like The Weather Channel. You can predict fairly accurately what weather lay ahead, based on their past behavior.
The type of men that lie, cheat, or are guilty of general douchebaggery come with a track record. Other women warn you to stay away, his friends tell you about his sordid past, and yet, you’ll convince yourself that you and you alone are up to the challenge of taming him.
There are times when our hopes and beliefs contradict all available evidence and can actually hurt us. Simply wanting someone to be an awesome guy doesn’t make him an awesome guy. Just ask Katy Perry. Despite all evidence that John Mayer is one of Hollywood’s biggest love-em-and-leave-em type of guys, she’s convinced herself he’ll be different with her. I hope she likes her love life discussed intimately on Twitter, or on the pages of Playboy, because that’s what she has to look forward to. It won’t be different with Katy. Just ask Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Aniston, Taylor Swift, or Minka Kelly. Keep reading »
If you’ve ever attended a girls’ night out or a bachelorette weekend,then you know that women tend to have distinct drinking personalities. Female drinking personas are developed early (usually in college) but lifestyle, city and financial situation can greatly influence how a woman acts when she drinks. But ultimately, if you provide a woman shots, a sexy outfit and booty bumping music, her drinking personality will resemble one of the Seven Dwarves from “Snow White.” When Disney named these lovable, little men, he must have been thinking of all the drunk ladies he knew because it’s uncanny. Get a woman sloshed enough and she’ll eventually turn into Happy, Sleepy, Sneezy, Grumpy, Bashful, Dopey or Doc. Trust me, one of the Seven Dwarves is just lying dormant within you, and if she drinks too many vodka tonics … watch out. See if you recognize your inner drinking Dwarf above! [Photos: Disney]
When my friend’s husband hit on me, I wish I could say I slapped his face, told him to f**k off and stormed away. Instead, I stood there in shock. After a really awkward goodbye, I got into my car and cried. A lot. It wasn’t just the fumbling attempt at a cheap thrill. No, it was his full revelation he had newfound “sexual feelings for me.” How cringe-worthy is that statement?
His confession started with details about how long he’d been attracted to me, dirty thoughts he’d had about me and ended with him grabbing my face and trying to kiss me. All I could think about was his wife, a dear friend, and what it would mean for our friendship. In the end, it ruined it. Because when a married man hits on one of his wife’s friends, it is an altogether horrid situation. Should you ever find yourself with this problem, here are some suggestions for how to deal with it with as much dignity as possible.
Keep reading »
After a particularly bad breakup, most of us would admit to some crazy behavior. Of course, crazy is in the eye of the beholder … or the receiver. It may start innocently enough with drunken texts, Facebook stalking or obsessing over your need for closure. Unfortunately, every once and a while, a breakup sends even the most level-headed woman into a tailspin.
According to the DSM-IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), there are nearly 400 diagnosable mental disorders — none of which have anything to do with the sudden onset of insanity after a breakup. Even doctors can get it wrong sometimes. In 1974, the APA removed homosexuality from the DSM as a mental disorder (thank you!), and they’ve added new disorders to the list since, such as Frotteurism (behaviors involving touching and rubbing against a non-consenting person). While a bad breakup probably won’t induce Frotteurism, it can cause seemingly intelligent, beautiful, educated, wonderful women to lose control. For the DSM-V, which comes out next year, I would like to offer up a new disorder for consideration — Post-Breakup Insanity, or PBI. Keep reading »
Whether your bedroom walls were plastered with posters of Kirk Cameron, Jonathan Taylor Thomas, or Scott Baio, having a dreamy crush on your favorite TV character (and the actor who plays him) is standard practice for teenage girls. In fact, most women continue to crush on hot TV characters (sans bedroom posters) well into adulthood. While completely fictional and harmlessly delusional, it’s hard to argue that some of these men are more consistent and reliable in your life (thanks to network television scheduling) than the actual men you date.
However, should your TV crush ever cross into real feelings territory, here are some reminders as to why most of these devilishly handsome, roguish characters would be an absolute nightmare to date in real life. God forbid they came out of the safe confines of your flat screen and into your bedroom, these guys would drive you to drink at the very least, or into a mental institution at the worst. Click through to see which sexy television characters would be most likely to cause you a psychotic episode.