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20 Most Stunningly On Point Blair Waldorf One-Liners

Of the many icy, headband-wielding women who have traipsed across our screens in television history, Blair Waldorf is by far one of the most legendary. While “Gossip Girl” has long finished filming, Blair’s freakishly coordinated clothing and conniving power plays still linger in my heart. She may be a bitchy control freak, even a bully, but she never pretends to be anyone but herself, and that’s what makes her my favorite Upper East Sider. Every teenage “Gossip Girl” viewer could relate to the fact that no matter how hard Blair tries to create a veneer of perfection, she still struggles with feelings of inadequacy against her sunny, effortless BFF Serena. The self-awareness that separates Blair and Serena is ultimately what makes Queen B so superior. Serena continuously sees herself as some kind of compassionate goddess, oblivious to how selfish her every move is, while Blair is proudly self-serving and a never-ending fountain of grim-but-true wisdom. So, apropos of nothing (okay, maybe it’s to balance out all the attention Serena’s real-life counterpart Blake Lively has been getting lately), here are some of Blair’s most striking zingers after the jump.

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It’s Time To Cry: Woman’s Golden Retrievers Keep Her Alive After A Painful Fall

Golden Retriever
"They Let Me Know That I Was Not Alone"

Judy Muhe, a 76-year-old from Palmdale, Florida, suffered a hard fall at home alone with her two dogs. She has Parkinson’s disease and was unable to get up on her own, so she drifted in and out of consciousness on her kitchen floor for two horrifying days. The dogs, Higgins and Dodger, were her saving grace. The two swooped in, laying beside Muhe to keep her warm and to comfort her until a friend arrived and found her on the floor. Muhe told “ABC News” her dogs are “angels on four legs” and “my guardians … I have no doubt they would do it again.” [ABC]

Amanda Bynes’ Psychiatric Hold Extended To Two Weeks

  • Amanda Bynes’ involuntary 5150 psychiatric hold has been extended from 72 hours to 14 days. Her parents and lawyer tricked her into getting help by convincing her she was going to a legal meeting. For some reason, Sam Lufti, the dude who spent a lot of time with Britney Spears circa her bald era, helped with Amanda’s parents’ plan to get her into treatment. These past few weeks, Amanda has talked up a supposed engagement and accused her father of molesting her, later retracting the statement by blaming it on a “microchip” in her brain. No matter how you look at it, this situation is an all-around bummer. At least she’s someplace safe now and hopefully on her way to healthier times. [Pink Is The New Blog]
  • Swedish model Anna Maria Mostrom is brain dead after being hit by a bus while biking on New York City’s Roosevelt Island. Mostrom modeled on catwalks and was once a contestant on “Scandinavia’s Next Top Model.” She’s surrounded by friends and family, and doctors are preparing to donate her organs to save other lives. [Mirror UK]

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Cosmopolitan Editor Reminds The World That Women Can Be Both Smart And Sexy (Sadly, The World Still Needs Reminding)

I have as many hangups about Cosmopolitan as the next feminist, but I love editor-in-chief Joanna Coles’ mission to make the magazine and its website a more well-rounded read. In an interview with NPR this morning, Coles, who has been in the position just two years, made it clear that she actually gives a damn about heavier topics like across-the-aisle politics and reproductive rights. She also pointedly defended a woman’s right to be a multi-faceted person who cares about both serious issues and lighter things in life (what a novel concept). Emily Ratajkowski of “Gone Girl” (and the “Blurred Lines” video) is on the cover of this month’s issue baring lots of skin, but the magazine also includes a lengthy article advising women on how to ask for a raise. To me, that seemed pretty cool — why shouldn’t a Cosmo reader be able to enjoy her sexuality and still kick ass in her professional life? This exchange followed, which Coles defended like a boss: Keep reading »

Taylor Swift’s New Single Laments Unstable Relationships (And Harry Styles)

Taylor Swift

Taylor Swift’s new single “Out Of The Woods” is reportedly about her relationship with Harry Styles, but it’s also about every other wishy-washy guy we’ve ever dated. She told “Good Morning America” that the relationship in this song “was a relationship where I was kind of living day to day, wondering where it was going, if it was going to go anywhere, if it was going to end the next day. It was a relationship where you, kind of, never feel like you’re standing on solid ground.” Bleakly relatable, right? She added that the song “stresses that even if a relationship is breakable and fragile and full of anxiety, it doesn’t mean that it isn’t worthwhile, exciting, beautiful, and all the things that we look for.” Well, that’s not exactly untrue. The song was co-written by Jack Antonoff and employs a drum machine instead of her usual guitar strumming, because apparently Taylor’s feeling extra adventurous these days. You can get the song on iTunes here. The full album drops on October 27! [BuzzFeed]

I Can’t Run For A While, So What Do I Do Now? Advice Please!

I love the natural high of exercise. To me, it serves as a kind of pseudo anti-depressant* that puts me in an instant good mood, and I like to alternate new workout plans to give me something to look forward to during dull or stressful stretches of time (like, say, the bulk of winter). For most of my life, largely because of Lululemon models that looked nothing like me and my overall hatred of gym class, I thought of myself as the opposite of a “fitness person.” I was on a sports team for a few years of high school, but I still felt like I’d never be someone who exercised of my own accord, and I dreaded “mile run day” in school like it was the plague. At that point, I figured I’d be doomed to choose between either a sedentary life or one full of countless miserable, wasted hours forcing myself to break a sweat when I’d rather be reading a book. I can’t pinpoint exactly when that changed, but sometime within the last few years, I started to kind of like going to the gym. I started to realize (and this is going to sound painfully obvious, so don’t laugh) that exercise is not just for those among us who are ultra-thin and have $200 Nike fitness gear, or something that only some people are “good” at. Instead, it’s an amazingly simple, egalitarian way to improve your life and practice keeping promises to yourself (for real, this was an actual surprise to me). These days, I get twitchy after a few days without a workout, which has me in a bind, because I just injured my foot and am totally out of commission. Keep reading »

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