So you’ve finally found The One (or at least The One For The Foreseeable Future) and you’ve committed to a serious relationship. Now what? In our weekly column, Life After Dating, women discuss the unique joys and challenges of coupledom.
When I was single and dating people who were definitely not right for me, I would often go to coupled friends for advice. They’d respond to my list of complaints that “he didn’t like to read books” or “he wanted to spend an unnatural amount of time with his guy friends, is he gay?” with platitudes like, “When you love someone you accept them exactly as they are” or “I wouldn’t change a thing about so and so.”
I took them at their word, thinking that when I was dating the right person someday, all of his flaws and all of my impulses to want to change or fix would magically fade away. I am finally dating the right person and can say with certainty that my coupled friends weren’t giving it to me straight. Perhaps they were simplifying it for me in a way that I could understand, or maybe they were lying. Either way, I think it’s less about accepting your partner’s inability to be on time, or his habit of making pasta at 2 a.m., and more that your love for him allows you to overlook these foibles. Because, let’s face it, you are anal about street clothes making contact with your sheets, you watch TV at a terribly loud volume and you might have an issue with hoarding beauty supplies. You are so grateful that he overlooks these things. Keep reading »
So you’ve finally found The One (or at least The One For The Foreseeable Future) and you’ve committed to a serious relationship. Now what? In our new weekly column, Life After Dating, women discuss the unique joys and challenges of coupledom.
This time of year it’s natural to think about starting fresh and making changes, and not just because of the ubiquitous “New Year, New You” ads for Weight Watchers and laser hair removal. If you’re in a serious relationship, it’s a great time to think about doing a State of the Union on your relationship and reflecting on the little ways it can be improved. I’m not talking about cheesy crap like “spend 20 minutes a day staring deeply into each other’s eyes” (although that’s nice, I suppose), I’m talking about using the new year as an excuse to check yourself and make sure you’re doing what needs to be done to keep the old relationship machine well-oiled and running smoothly. And yes, that does include accepting his ear-cleaning habits, as weird and compulsive as they might be… Keep reading »
So you’ve finally found The One (or at least The One For The Foreseeable Future) and you’ve committed to a serious relationship. Now what? In our new weekly column, Life After Dating, we’ll discuss the unique joys and challenges of coupledom.
I’ve been with my boyfriend, Max*, for five years now. We are completely committed to each other and about as happy together as real-life couple can be. I don’t question the fact that we will be together forever. I don’t want to date anyone else. And yet, I still get crushes on other people.
I’ve always been the crushing type. I tend to fall in love with 10 different people a day, for one reason or another. I toss my feelings around pretty freely, and the result is frequent, fleeting crushes on everyone from my favorite barista to the guy who came over to set up my wireless internet to about one-third of the contestants on “The Voice.”
“I briefly fell in love with the cable guy today,” I’ll tell Max over cocktails. He laughs it off. Luckily, he loves this quirk about me. Keep reading »