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Carnival Cruise Ship Full Of Raw Sewage Returns With “Vacationers” Full Of Rage

The Carnival cruise ship that’s been powerless and stranded in the Gulf of Mexico, AKA the SS Vacation From Hell, has finally made its way back to land. Last night, at around 10:15 p.m., passengers began to disembark the Carnival Triumph in Mobile, Alabama; the last “vacationer” exiting the ship at 1:00 a.m. Some people were seen kissing the ground after they arrived in the U.S. Others, understandably, are still reeling from the ordeal.

And, um, kind of can’t blame them. Sleeping in a tent and raw sewage running down the walls — not exactly a rejuvenating getaway. Read more…

Burned Body In Cabin Believed To Be Fugitive Christopher Dorner

Christopher Dorner, the fugitive accused of killing four people on a rampage across California, is believed dead in a cabin in Big Bear Lake, California. The former officer of the LAPD was angry about his dismissal from the force following a situation in which he accused a fellow officer of police brutality.

After a shootout with police, a charred body was found inside a cabin in which Dorner had been holed up. They have reason to believe the body is that of Dorner. This ends a more than week long hunt for the fugitive believed to have shot Monica Quan, 28, the daughter of the lawyer who defended him against accusations of lying and her 27-year-old fiance, Keith Lawrence. He then killed two more officers of the law during his run. Read more…

I Seriously Regret Taking My Husband’s Last Name

When I let it slip to people that I sometimes regret taking my husband’s last name after we were married, a panicked look crosses their face. They’re expecting, I can only guess, a diatribe about a good-for-nothing bum of a husband. I’ll give you the good news now. We’re 12 years in and going strong.

It’s not the marriage I regret. It’s the name.

I never expected to be here. Twelve years ago, I was excited to dump my 10-letter mouthful of amaiden name for one that was half as long. I was ready to say goodbye to years of having to correct the spelling and the pronunciation of the very German name passed down through my father’s family for generations. Read more…

Couple Who “Can’t Live Without” Coffee Enemas Needs To Wake Up

Hey, I’m the first person to admit my complete and total addiction to coffee. A day without coffee is like … a day without prolonged periods of wakefulness, in my case. Meaning: I depend on the stuff to function. Or at least I thought I did, until I heard Mike and Trina’s story. Because this St. Petersburg, Florida couple really does depend on coffee to function, to a shocking degree. No joke.

I know what you’re thinking: How much coffee can these people possibly drink? But that’s just it — neither Mike nor Trina actually drinks coffee at all. They believe that drinking coffee is “bad for their health.” So they give themselves (brace yourself) coffee enemas. At least 100 coffee enemas per month. Each. Read more…

Sandy Hook Movie Plan Causes Outrage

Too soon? That’s the question comedians ask themselves when they make a joke about a tragedy. The same could be asked of filmmakers who decide to take on sensitive topics like 9/11, the Holocaust, or the Titanic. One director has discovered that coming out with plans for a Sandy Hook-themed movieisn’t such a great idea right now. Or maybe ever.

The French-born film director Jonathan Bucari, who has directed nothing anyone has ever heard of, announced plans on fundraising site Indiegogo to direct a film about a young boy with a mental illness who was severely affected by the Sandy Hook shootings. He said he planned to shoot the film in Ridgefield, Connecticut, a town near Newtown.

Almost immediately, the backlash began on Twitter, with people calling the director “opportunist slime” and telling him to “stay away” from the people of Connecticut. Bucari had told a local TV station that he planned to shoot in Ridgefield because it looked like Newtown. But Ridgefield local leaders said they wouldn’t allow it. Read more…

6 Different Kinds Of People You’ll Meet At A Super Bowl Party

Got a Super Bowl party to go to today? Cheering for the ra-ra home team, are ya? Chances are, whatever football get-together you’ll attend, you’ll encounter those who are really into the game, those who are really into the food, those who are really into talking about the food, but not eating it, and three other types of individuals you can’t help but mingle with come Super Bowl Sunday. Read more…

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