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It’s National Underwear Day, Now Go Throw Out Your Underwear!

And now a pubic service announcement from everybody’s favorite bra bitch, Brianna! Happy Friday from Pantyland! Mine started in a bunch after reading a tweet that contained my two favorite things: Rob Kardashian and underwear. Even though he looks like an overgrown 10-year-old who’s allowed to drink beer, I have a soft spot in my, um, heart for the only Kardashian with a Y chromosome. And I needn’t even elaborate on my love for all things intimate. Mr. K, as he’s known in most of my fantasies, tweeted: “So u girls are only allowed to wear undies … good thing u can get them here” and the “here” led to Freshpair, where it’s National Underwear Day. Like, now. Today. But the cool part is that they’re “celebrating” by giving away 5,000 “fresh pairs” for free. Angels, I tell you. Angels. My squeals of glee, however, quickly turned to disgust when I read WHY they’re giving it away: A recent Freshpair poll told the sick tale that 73 percent of the American population wears old “expired” underwear that’s been ruined by stains, holes and more runs than your granny’s panty hose. I had heard enough.
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