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True Story: I Only Use The Pullout Method

On The Pullout Method
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The pullout method is *almost* as effective as condoms, study says. Read More »
Real Talk: Birth Control
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Part one of our Real Talk on real women's birth control options. Read More »
Birth Control Myths
bigger breasts are a birth control pill myth
Bigger boobs and weight gain are birth control myths. Read More »
True Story: I Only Use The Pullout Method

According to New York magazine, sexually active hetero women in their 20s and 30s are heretofore dubbed the “pullout generation.” We’ve earned this moniker because, for various reasons, we’ve turned up our noses at “conventional forms of birth control,” from the the Pill to condoms, and started relying on the withdrawal method to avoid pregnancy. The article suggests some of the reasons why we are shunning BC — from noxious side effects of the Pill, to prohibitive costs, to pressure from men not to use condoms, to putting more focus on our sexual pleasure — but the more troubling part, perhaps, is that we’re “reluctant to admit [it], even after a few cocktails.”

I will attest to this. I only use the pullout method, but am loathe to say so to my Pill loyalist friends or my gyno, who I’m convinced will give me a finger-wagging lecture. I’m in my 30s! While I’m not actively looking to be a parent right this minute, an unplanned pregnancy also would not ruin my life. There seems to be this pervasive idea that it’s ignorant or irresponsible not to use conventional birth control. After all, you’re relying on someone else to act swiftly. Keep reading »

6 Mistakes Not To Make When Getting Set Up

Reasons To Blind Date
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Ten reasons you should consider going out on a blind date. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Fatigue
When dating fatigue sets it, it's a bitch. Read More »
Crazy Blind Dates
Would you let OK Cupid set you up on a blind date? Read More »

A few months ago, my love life went through a dry spell. It wasn’t that messages weren’t coming in on Match.com or that guys wouldn’t chat me up when I hit happy hour after work. I just wasn’t connecting with anyone.  I felt really blah about the men who I went on dates with (usually only one date with) and I started to doubt my “picker.” Maybe I’m bad at this, I thought to myself.

Right around that time, my friend started dating a new guy. This new guy had a roommate. In the swell of her new romance, the roommate probably did seem pretty great.  She said he was a cute, funny, smart professional musician from the same religious background who is also a vegetarian. She offered — no, she insisted — she set us up. I’m an open-minded gal, so I thought I’d give it a shot. She knows me pretty well, I thought.

I don’t think I even need to tell you how awkward the date turned out to be. Keep reading »

True Story: I Worked As A High-End Stripper

Dos & Don'ts
The DOs and DONTs Of Taking Your Girlfriend To A Strip Club
... of taking your girlfriend to a strip club. Read More »
Mom Hired Strippers
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World's best/worst mom hired strippers for her son's 16th birthday party. Read More »
Sex Work Past
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Is it OK for an elementary school teacher to have been a stripper? Read More »
Why Men Love Strippers
Why men like looking at nearly-naked women. Read More »

“What do you feel about going topless?” he asked me over the phone. I hesitantly replied, “Well, I guess I’m okay with it. But will they be able to touch my boobs?” There was an awkward pause on the other end of the line. “Yes, but you’ll never have to do anything more. I promise.”

A few days earlier, I’d been scanning Craigslist for part-time gigs and came across an ad that seemed too good to be true: “Beautiful college girls sought for nightclub modeling. Receive up to $1000/night. Email pics.” I answered and said that I was a 21-year-old student and attached some cheesy iPhoto shots.

It was January of my senior year of college in New York, and I was completely and utterly broke. I had been doing freelance work to keep me afloat, but things started to go downhill in December, when I only made $600 for the entire month — not even enough to cover my rent. On a cold night I huddled in the school’s library, answered every student job posting I could find and scanned Craigslist. Five minutes after answering the nightclub post, I received a response from a guy named Bob. He wanted me to call him. I ducked outside and dialed the number he sent me. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: I’ve Started Disclosing My Rape On The First Date

CNN on Steubenville
They're mourning the lives of the rapists. Read More »
I Was Date Raped
Amelia was date raped in college by a guy she liked. Read More »
Teach Boys Not To Rape
On Steubenville High School and teaching boys not to rape. Read More »

Nearly four years ago, while I was on a third date with a man, I was raped. For a long time, I wouldn’t have been able to write that sentence. I would have equivocated. I would have quickly followed it up with minimizers like, “I was drunk.” Or, “I’m OK. It wasn’t violent.”

These statements are all true. I was drunk. The rape was not violent in that I wasn’t physically injured. I am OK. At this moment in time, I am comfortable saying that these factors still don’t make what happened my fault. I said no to him repeatedly. That, I am sure of.

In light of the Steubenville rape case, I feel the need bubbling up to reflect upon my rape again, as it often does when there is a prominent rape case in the news. While CNN is busy mourning the lives of the young, convicted rapists, I’m thinking about 16-year-old Jane Doe, and how this will change the course of her life. I refuse to mourn her life, because that implies that she will let being raped define her for the rest of her life. I pray that’s not the case. But I know that being raped will affect her in so many unexpected ways, as it has me. Keep reading »

Dealbreaker: His Penis Made Me Cry

Dealbreaker: Wallet
He forgot his wallet...on purpose. Read More »
Dealbreaker: Chipotle
He took her to Chipotle. Read More »
Dealbreaker: Pimp
He wanted her to be his pimp. Read More »

At the tender age of 19, I had only seen a total of four penises: the guy who got into my bed naked after a rave in high school; my boyfriend who I lost my virginity to senior year; the balding dorm mate who I gave an unfortunate blow job to while a James Bond movie played in the background; the older dude I had casual sex with my entire freshman year and most of my sophomore year of college. I had only slept with two of these penises, but this I assure you, all four were of modest size. (I can say this with confidence now that I’m older and have seen many a dick.)

This is where I was at in my sexual evolution when I started dating William*. He lived in my dorm sophomore year and came over sometimes to hang out and wanted to listen to, of all things, Tori Amos. I know! A 19-year-old boy who likes Tori Amos? William’s admission of Tori Amos fandom made him instantaneously more attractive to me. Not that he wasn’t already attractive. With his bleached-blond hair, piercings and post-punk style, when he leaned over and kissed me as “Pretty Good Year” played on my stereo then leaned over and whispered, “I want to fuck you on my balcony,” I felt something I had never experienced before: raging desire. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: Confessions Of A Nude Model

I Posed Nude
... and lived to tell about it. Read More »
Dancing At Coyote Ugly
Sara danced at the bar made famous in that terrible movie. Read More »
On Sleeping Naked
sleeping naked photo
Jessica cannot sleep naked, despite many valiant attempts. Read More »
nude modeling

The flash went off with a “pop” and the photographer patiently told me to loosen up. My hands were sweaty and my heart was beating a mile a minute. Trying my best to concentrate, I twisted into an elegant pose and took a deep breath to soften my expression. The resulting photograph was beautiful but the experience was terrifying.

I was 20-years-old when I first took my clothes off for money. While it might seem sordid, it wasn’t as bad as you might expect. A sophomore in college in New York, I was completely broke and my babysitting job wasn’t going to pay my rent for the summer while I interned. An old acquaintance — I’ll call her Tania — had been posting censored nude photos of herself on Facebook, and out of sheer curiosity I wrote her a message about it. She quickly replied and said that she had been making extra money “art modeling” for photographers. I was intrigued.

Keep reading »

First Time For Everything: Using A Vibrating C**k Ring

First Time: Orgy
orgy
What happened at Jessica's first orgy. Read More »
Peeing Or Squirting?
7 ways to know if you're a female ejaculator. Read More »
First Time: Anal Beads
A writer tells us about her first encounters with anal beads. Read More »

The other weekend I was at brunch with some friends and the topic of our conversation was cock rings. Not your average brunch convo, but a lively one nonetheless.

“If you haven’t already, you girls have to get a vibrating cock ring. It changed everything.”

I know, this sounds like one of those cheesy tampon commercials. I’m paraphrasing from memory, but this was a near-exact approximation of what she said. Next, she went on about her amazing orgasm thanks to said vibrating cock ring. She is also a squirter. So she’s one of those orgasmic overachievers. Bitch.

By the end of brunch the other girls wanted to rush to the CVS down the block to buy them. I spent most of brunch trying to stifle an eye roll. Not because I’m single and have no one to fuck and have never squirted in my life (although that might be part of it), but because I find vibrating cock rings to be highly overrated and the time I used one was farcical at best. Keep reading »

The Soapbox: I’m A Mom Who Smokes Pot

18 Celebrity Potheads
We know, Woody, we know. Read More »
Rihanna's A Stoner
A Photographic Review Of Rihanna's 777 Tour
Rihanna just loves to tweet about her affection for pot. Read More »
Frisky Parenting!
twins
All the posts The Frisky has ever done about parenting! Read More »

“So, this is kind of a random question…”

I nodded my head at the man across from me. I was in the kitchen of a fellow parent from my child’s school. I had come to pick my son up from a playdate, and found myself hanging around making small talk while the kids finished up playing. Between multiple playdates and a few shared meals, we had become friendly with this family and had reached the level of Facebook friends and random text exchanges. I was curious what his random question could entail.

“Do you … well … do you know where I could get some pot?” Keep reading »

Girl Talk: How One Asian-American Woman Defied Tradition by Pursuing Her Orgasm

On Hot Asian Dudes
Jeremy Lin photo
Jeremy Lin reveals our weirdness with Asian-American male sexuality. Read More »
"Asian Trophy Wives"
"Asian Trophy Wives" is a label we could do without. Read More »
Dating Outside My Race
I do it ... because my race won't date me. Read More »
asian woman orgasm

At the age of three, I already didn’t want to be a girl. I saw from watching my mom what it was like to be a grown-up girl and it didn’t look good. Here are the few memories from childhood that I hadn’t managed to suppress:

We came home once to find our apartment ransacked by burglars. I was forced to drink powdered milk everyday, which I hated. My dad chasing my mom with a big knife into the kitchen. My brother and I, who were kneeling facing the wall as punishment for who-knows-what, turned and watched them run by. Screaming.  My dad coming in the bathroom interrupting me and my brother taking a shower together. He came in to punish my brother, hitting him on the butt. My brother remembers us hiding under the dining table while chairs were being thrown around. Apparently my dad used to bring women home, even when my mom was home.

Needless to say I was a sad little kid. By the time I escaped to the U.S. at age six I told myself my life starts now and never to look back. Keep reading »

Girl Talk: Why I Stalk His Twitter Feed

Dealbreaker: Social Media
He overshared on social media. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Facebook
You should never post these things on his Facebook page. NEVER. Read More »
Getting Closure
8 Ways To Get Closure
8 ways to get closure in a relationship. Read More »

I’m not the type of woman to Internet stalk. When I break up with someone, I immediately hide them from my Facebook newsfeed, unfollow them on Instagram and remove them from my Gchat friend list. I feel strongly about this because I know that continuing to follow someone on social media who I have feelings is self-destructive. I know it prevents me from moving forward with my life.

That being said, I have one exception to this rule: the awful ex-boyfriend whose Twitter feed I stalk. We dated on and off for many years, starting when I was in college. He treated me very badly. We never really broke up, he just kind of disappeared, so closure wasn’t an option for me. Keep reading »

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