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True Story: I Got Fired

True Story: I Got Fired
Girl Talk: I Quit My Job
How did it turn out for this author? Read More »

I got fired on a Friday, just before lunchtime. No one stood over me as I gathered my coffee mug and my photos, I wasn’t escorted out of the door. I said two goodbyes, covertly, outside the office building. The actual firing was all done over the phone and they told me I didn’t have to finish the day, as though they were doing me a favor. A quiet rage made my hands shake as I said “Thank you for your time” and put down the receiver.

To say I was miserable at that last job would be would be an understatement at best, a goddamn lie at worst. My alarm would go off and I would start dreaming up excuses for skipping work, but most weren’t good enough. Sometimes during lunch I called my dad crying; I almost always left with my shoulders tight and my jaw clenched. So getting fired brought relief tempered with nastier things I didn’t quite expect. Keep reading »

The Great Twat Betrayal: 7 Common Yet Complicated Vagina Problems Every Woman Faces

I am convinced my vagina should have the next lead role on “Game of Thrones,” because recently, it has done nothing but plot sadistic revenge and royally fuck me. Like many women have experienced, I woke up one day with some weird itching and burning in the land down under and knew that it was the beginning of the dreaded yeast infection. Before I high-tailed my ass to the doctor, I opted to try a three-day over-the-counter, injectable cream that made me feel like I was a toddler walking around with a load in my diaper, and since then, it’s been one problem after the next (all for which I’ve consulted professionals).

But through my struggles, I’ve found solace in the fact that my OB-GYN confirmed “these are common problems,” and “these things happen to everyone.” Every day, women everywhere are betrayed by their vaginas with “normal,” pain-in-the-ass issues that interrupt our sex lives, social lives, and just our ease of existence in general. YOU try discreetly walking up subway stairs with a vile’s worth of white, foamy cream slowly leaking into your panties. Here are seven common vag problems that, in my opinion, deserve their own support groups and pocket manuals. Keep reading »

#OnlineDatingFail: The Broke, Newly-Married, Cheating Narcissist

The online dating scene is rough. Sure, it’s a great way to meet people, but we use the term “people” loosely, as some of the individuals we’ve come in contact with still seem to be in their primitive forms. Obviously, first impressions count … but not to these idiots.

Sender: 44, Male
Receiver: 32, Female
Site: Plenty of Fish
Tip: Don’t do anything that this doucher does. NOTHING. Not only does this self-proclaimed “player” list his profession as “lying and cheating on my wife,” but he tells us he’s not ambitious, calls himself a “narcissistic ass,” and goes on to explain that he lies to women to sleep with them before running home to his wife of only five weeks. If you ask us, it sounds like this guy is the perfect candidate for herpes … and maybe a marketing class.  Keep reading »

My Reaction To ABC’s New Drama “Black Box,” As A Person With A Bipolar Loved One

black-box
I Have Bi-Polar Disorder
I Have Bi-Polar Disease
A personal essay from a woman who is bipolar. Read More »

Leading up to last week’s pilot episode of “Black Box” on ABC, I’d seen a bunch of previews for the drama centered around Dr. Catherine Black, a talented neuroscientist harboring a secret diagnosis of her own. The series premiere aired right after “Grey’s Anatomy,” which I had been watching, so I decided to give it a whirl.

Big mistake. Keep reading »

#OnlineDatingFail: It’s Called Punctuation

Online Dating Don'ts
Guys need to stop doing these things online. Read More »
Outsmarting Online Dating
Meet Amy Webb, The Woman Who Outsmarted Online Dating
Watch a TED talk from a woman who hacked online dating. Read More »
Online Dating No-Nos
Take these five phrases off your profile immediately! Read More »
Online Dating Lies
Here's some of the whoppers people use in their profile. Read More »
#OnlineDatingFail: It's Called Punctuation

The online dating scene is rough. Sure, it’s a great way to meet people, but we use the term “people” loosely, as some of the individuals we’ve come in contact with still seem to be in their primitive forms. Obviously, first impressions count … but not to these idiots.

Sender: 26, Male
Receiver: 28, Female
Site: OKCupid
Tip: While this guy refreshingly refrained from mentioning panties, masturbation and the suggestion to pee on each other in his initial message, he’s forgetting a little thing called punctuation. What gets me is that there’s one solo period just hanging out in the middle of his 54 various thoughts. Why even use a period at all? Run-on sentences are not a turn-on, so next time you message someone, you should probably watch this. Keep reading »

#OnlineDatingFail: Let’s Have An Introductory Pee-On-Each-Other Meeting

#OnlineDatingFail: Let's Have An Introductory Pee-On-Each-Other Meeting

The online dating scene is rough. Sure, it’s a great way to meet people, but we use the term “people” loosely, as some of the individuals we’ve come in contact with still seem to be in their primitive forms. Obviously, first impressions count … but not to these idiots.

Sender: 32, Male
Receiver: 28, Female
Site: OKCupid
Tip: I don’t care how kinky we say we are. Talking about “pee on me, fruit fuckin’” sex the first time you message someone is a surefire way to stay out of their pants. And think of something more original than “multiple partner havin’”… that’s just pure laziness. Keep reading »

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