My ex-husband was the most romantic person I’ve ever met. He also hit me on the day we got married, while I was wearing my wedding dress.
That’s why when I saw the footage of ex-Baltimore Ravens player Ray Rice punching his then-fiancée Janay Palmer, I wasn’t surprised that she was now his wife. It isn’t — as many of the commenters on the original TMZ video have said — “all about the money,” or “she doesn’t care about taking a punch,” and it’s especially not that “she is telling all women it’s okay for your man to beat you.”
Domestic violence is so much more complicated than a lack of money, or not having self-respect, or feeling like it’s OK for your man to beat up on you. I’m not an expert on what makes women stay in abusive relationships or even marry their abuser. But I did both of these things and I can speak to my particular story. Keep reading »
“Are you okay in there?” my roommate asked me after I’d surpassed the 30-minute mark in our shared bathroom.
“Yep!” I hastily replied from the cold, linoleum floor where I sat naked. “I’ll be right out!”
I took one last look through the small compact mirror at my vagina, thoroughly inspecting each fold, small bump and hair, and hoisted myself up off the floor. In a matter of months, this scrupulous examination had become my daily routine…and to this day, I hate every minute of it. Keep reading »
The online dating scene is rough. Sure, it’s a great way to meet people, but we use the term “people” loosely, as some of the individuals we’ve come in contact with still seem to be in their primitive forms. Obviously, first impressions count … but not to these idiots.
Sender: 22, Male
Receiver: 22, Female
Site: Tinder Keep reading »
Here are two things I never expected to be told in the same breath: “You’re so skinny! This will look cute on you,” and “I’m pretty sure you’re lying about that time your dad molested you.”
Nine months ago, I confronted my father about sexually abusing me as a child. Since then, my communication with my family has been limited, and it caught me off-guard when, just two weeks ago, my aunt invited me to meet her for lunch. I impulsively agreed, and initially, we started on the right note. After a few minutes of polite pleasantries, she handed me a gift bag. Inside, I found a hand-me-down Ann Taylor blazer with the tags still on (“I love the pattern, but it just doesn’t fit me”) and a copy of Meredith Maran’s My Lie: A True Story of False Memory (“I learned so much from this book. It’s amazing how unreliable our memories are, don’t you think?”). Never before had I felt so flattered and insulted all at once. Keep reading »
My first thought upon opening my new LELO Ora Oral Sex Simulator was “How the hell does this thing work?” My second thought was, “Who cares how it works? This is the prettiest sex toy I’ve ever seen.” It could honestly pass for something Kate Middleton would use, because it’s gold and fancy and doesn’t LOOK like a sex toy. It’s refined. The Queen would probably mistake it for, like, a new age baby monitor or something.
Anyway, I took the toy out of it’s box and inspected it for a bit. About five inches around, it looks like a lopsided disc with an off-center hole. On the inside is shiny silver brass (or something that feels like metal), and on the outside, a thin layer of silky smooth, royal blue silicone. One small area on the outer curve of the toy is flat, which allows the vibrator to rest upright if placed on that surface, AND is also where the magic happens. Fun fact: It’s also waterproof, but I have yet to try it in the tub. Keep reading »
This weekend, Washington Post columnist George Will wrote an article about sexual assault on college campuses in which he called “victimhood … a coveted status that confers privileges.” In response, survivors of sexual assault having been sharing their stories with on Twitter with the hashtag #SurvivorPrivilege. Here, one survivor shares her story.
#SurvivorPrivilege is feeling anxious and afraid over revealing truths that could possibly impact your family, career, and friendships.
#SurvivorPrivilege is fudging details about your “first time” when chatting with friends, because even 18 years after the fact, you’re too ashamed to talk about what really happened. Keep reading »