Annemarie Conte

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The Monogamist: Retaining Your Individuality When You’re Part Of A “We”

Last month, I showed up at a party that my hubby, Andy, and I had been invited to, and I was greeted with silence. Now, I know I’m not that unpopular, so something had to be wrong. As I shrugged off my coat and people got back to mingling, my friend approached with a vodka…

By: Annemarie Conte / January 26, 2009

Wedding Gift Bloopers: Homo, It’s Where The Heart Is

Dear loving friend or family member who bought me kitchen towels for my bridal shower,

Thank you so much for your wonderful gift. I know I already sent you a note for the present, but I felt the need to write again. Andy and I were just overwhelmed with the many generous and wonderful…

By: Annemarie Conte / December 11, 2008

The Monogamist: The Name Change

My sister practically clutched her heart when I first told her. “But what about the children?” she demanded. I shook my head, completely speechless. Now, I have an answer: What’s going to happen to our — at this stage — hypothetical children if I don’t change my name? They’ll survive.

By: Annemarie Conte / November 25, 2008

How To Get That Embarrassing Bumper Sticker Off The Back of Your Car

So, let’s say your political candidate of choice lost last night…or years ago. If you’re driving a vintage Volvo that supports Mondale/Ferraro or you’re too distraught to cover up the McCain/Palin sticker on the back of your Durango with one that says MY OTHER CAR IS A ZAMBONI (I’m looking at you, hockey moms), here’…

By: Annemarie Conte / November 5, 2008

The Monogamist: When To Reveal Your Crazy Side

A friend call me the other day. She was struggling to figure out what was going on with her relationship of a month. He’d do sweet things, like post photos of the two of them on Facebook. Then he’d write curt responses to her e-mails. Normally, she’s extremely self-confident, self-assured, and successful in life. It…

By: Annemarie Conte / October 31, 2008

The Monogamist: What Marriage Feels Like

Well, I did it. A couple of weeks ago, I tied the knot. Got hitched. Became a ball and chain. And got my own ball and chain? People make it sound so weighty. When we got engaged, it did feel huge, like this gigantic life-altering decision that was so…permanent. And it is. I’m not saying…

By: Annemarie Conte / October 1, 2008

The Monogamist: How To Win An Argument

I was so pissed off yesterday. My boyfriend (er, fiancé…but Amelia has already addressed why that’s the worst word ever) had to help some friends move. He called to tell me they were done and he’d be leaving in a half hour so we could hang out. Two hours later, I’m killing time watching reru…

By: Annemarie Conte / September 4, 2008

The Monogamist: Taking Each Other For Granted

I think everyone can agree that a long-term relationship falls into a pattern after that initial getting-to-know-you excitement stage. And while that can be comforting, predictable and secure, it can also be boring for the same reasons. As each person is going through the regular course of their daily lives, it can be easy to…

By: Annemarie Conte / August 7, 2008

The Ex Factor: Why It’s Silly To Be Jealous Of Past Girlfriends

The other day, I was telling some stupid story about something ridiculous that happened in college and since my ex-boyfriend was integral to the story, I mentioned that he was there. It gave me some pause because I realized that my exes come up a lot. I don’t think I’m unnaturally obsessed with them, but…

By: Annemarie Conte / July 10, 2008

The Monogamist: Avoiding Co-Dependence

You know that couple—the ones who live together, eat together, exercise together, adopt the same hobbies and spend every waking (and sleeping, for that matter) moment together. Their codependency knows no bounds. It’s what Alex McCord and her husband Simon were criticized for on The Real Housewives of New York City (she brought him to…

By: Annemarie Conte / June 12, 2008

The Monogamist: Blind Trust Isn’t A Bad Thing

It wasn’t until I’d had my man have sex with my roommate in my bed that I really understand how trust can be broken in a relationship. That was the first moment in my life that I’d ever had a total out-of-body experience. Along with it came the realization that I had no idea what…

By: Annemarie Conte / May 15, 2008

The Monogamist: Comparison Schmarison

If another couple jumped off a bridge, would you do it too?

A few years ago, I was designated driver during a long night of excessive drinking. My friend, we’ll call her Monica, was in the passenger’s seat and her boyfriend, uh, Joe, was in the back. Joe said something that pissed Monica off…

By: Annemarie Conte / April 16, 2008