Profile for Anna Goldfarb

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Make It Stop: “My Coworker ‘Negs’ Me On Social Media”

Make It Stop: "My Coworker 'Negs' Me On Social Media"

Make It Stop is a new weekly column in which Anna Goldfarb — the blogger behind Shmitten Kitten and Shlooby Kitten — tells you what’s up. Want a fresh take on a stinky dilemma? Email anna@shmittenkitten.com with the subject “Make It Stop.” She’ll make it all better, or at least make you laugh. Girl Scout’s honor.

First up, we have a woman whose passive aggressive coworker who makes snide remarks on social media:  Keep reading »

Make It Stop: “My Roommate Keeps Borrowing My Stuff Without Asking”

Make It Stop is a new weekly column in which Anna Goldfarb — the blogger behind Shmitten Kitten and Shlooby Kitten — tells you what’s up. Want a fresh take on a stinky dilemma? Email anna@shmittenkitten.com with the subject “Make It Stop.” She’ll make it all better, or at least make you laugh. Girl Scout’s honor.

First up, a woman whose roommate keeps “borrowing” her shit and a boyfriend who does not appreciate the finer things in life, like the “Real Housewives” series:
Keep reading »

I Have An Idea: Lena Dunham & Danny McBride Should Switch Shows

What "Girls" Got Right
13 things from the premiere that seemed universally accurate. Read More »
Give Dunham A Break
She's not the voice of a generation -- and that's okay! Read More »
"Girls" Trailer
Check out the first trailer for Lena Dunham's new show, "Girls." Read More »

The “Girls” premiere on Sunday night left me underwhelmed. I lived in New York City in my 20s and I expected to relate to the show. But I didn’t. Not by a long shot. Hannah Horvath (Lena Dunham) whined and pouted her way through the episode, balking at the idea of weaning herself off her parents’ checking account. She’s 24 years old! Doesn’t she want to succeed? Doesn’t she want to be independent? More troubling, doesn’t she have any pride?

Speaking of pride, you know who has a lot of it? Kenny Powers (Danny McBride) on “Eastbound & Down.” The show’s series finale aired the same night — Spoilers Ahead! — and it was an interesting juxtaposition to “Girls.” Like Hannah, Kenny Powers whines and pouts through life. He ended the series returning to April and his son, Toby, which was a little too neat for the usually unhinged Kenny Powers. It’s a shame because I would’ve liked to have seen a different kind of shake-up in his life rather than fatherhood to keep things interesting.

Then, I had an idea: Hannah should switch places with Kenny Powers. Transport Kenny Powers to Brooklyn. Plop Hannah in Myrtle Beach. I’m already laughing just picturing it! Sure, a 24-year-old New York mumbler and an immature baseball pitcher may not appear to have too much in common, but I’d argue that they do: (This may contain spoilers if you haven’t seen both shows, so proceed at your own risk.) Keep reading »

Mirror, Mirror: My Snaggletooth Rules

Want Crooked Teeth?
In Japan, you can buy a clip-on snaggle! Read More »

Like a lot of people, my teeth were pushed and pulled with a variety of contraptions during my formative years. It all started innocently enough in 5th grade when I got spacers. Tiny rubber bands were wound between metal brackets that had been twisted around my back teeth. This was the first sign that my preteens were going to be painful and not because of my unflattering haircut and spotty  fashion sense; those bands were an agent of torture. Sure, they came in bright, fun colors, but I learned quickly that neon pink things can be used as a torture device too. When my jaw became too sore to snack on Hot Pockets after school as per my usual routine, I knew that shit was getting real. Keep reading »

Soapbox: I’m Sick Of Online Stalking

I’m waving the white flag here, Universe; I’m officially burnt out on Internet stalking my crushes. I’m sure his Facebook Timeline is gonna to be bitchin’, but I just can’t summon it in me to give a crap about his pictures, videos, and/or status updates. Sorry, boys! Keep reading »

Girl Talk: I Like Dating Shorter Guys

This might surprise you, but I didn’t find out until recently that most women do not feel the same way as me when it comes to loving vertically challenged men. When most women find out about my preference for smooching shorties, it’s usually met with crinkled noses and “I could never” or “gross” or the occasional “oh, hell no!” I smile and say, “Great! That leaves more short guys for me.” And they look at me like I just recited one of Hitler’s speeches in German. Keep reading »

I Went On A Blind Date With Charlie Sheen

Anna Goldfarb at the blog Shmitten Kitten has an active imagination. This post originally appeared on her blog. Enjoy!

Charlie Sheen is a nutjob so I used his real quotes and imagined we were on a blind date. Enjoy:

Me: Thanks for meeting me here. I’ve heard good things about this place.

Charlie: I’m still alive, which is pretty cool.

Me: Yeah, it is. Janet told me a lot of things about you. Most of it was good. (laughs nervously)

Charlie: I have a 10,000-year-old brain and the boogers of a seven-year-old. Keep reading »

Things In His House That Make Me Sad: His Neglected Backyard Patio

Welcome to “Things In His House That Make Me Sad,” a regular series from the blog Shmitten Kitten that we’ll be featuring on The Frisky, about the stuff seen in so many guys’ apartments that just make you shake your head and sigh.

There are several things in his house that I want nothing to do with. I’d rather kiss a cockroach then step foot in his musty basement. I’d rather eat a bowl of scabs than smell the inside of his microwave. But, what really sends chills down my spine is stepping foot outside onto his neglected backyard patio. Keep reading »

Things In His House That Make Me Sad: His Lone, Off-Brand Cotton Swab

Welcome to “Things In His House That Make Me Sad,” a regular series from the blog Shmitten Kitten that we’ll be featuring on The Frisky, about the stuff seen in so many guys’ apartments that just make you shake your head and sigh.

When I asked him for a Q-tip, he said, “Sorry, babe. I don’t have any.” Frankly, a bathroom without Q-tips is a bathroom I don’t wanna be in. I have needs that can only be met with a firm stick with cotton tightly wound on both sides. I have eyeliner to correct. I have mascara smeared under my eyebrow I have to wipe away. I have an itch in my ear THAT NEEDS TO BE SCRATCHED. Keep reading »

Things In His House That Make Me Sad: A Clackity Dell Desktop Computer

Welcome to “Things In His House That Make Me Sad,” a regular series from the blog Shmitten Kitten that we’ll be featuring on The Frisky, about the stuff seen in so many guys’ apartments that just make you shake your head and sigh.

Oh my God, I hate your computer. No one owns a Dell on purpose unless you’re an NYU student in 1997. Just typing my username into Gmail feels like I’m playing a sticky instrument. Ewwww! Keep reading »

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