Andrea Grimes

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Hitched: Bridesmaids, What Are They Good For?

Minutes before I walked down the aisle, one of my persons-of-distinction, Trenton, pulled a bunch of multi-colored plastic Tiki goblets from a sack, busted open a bottle of cheap champagne…

Andrea Grimes |

Hitched: Reliving The Bachelorette Life

I made sure to get the thin crust pizza, because I knew that once it was just me and a couch and Liam Neeson rescuing some people from some horrible…

Andrea Grimes |

Hitched: Why My Husband Is Getting A Vasectomy

I’ve been walking around with a sketch of a uterus and cervix in my reporter’s notebook for several weeks now, courtesy of my gynecologist. She drew it while explaining to…

Andrea Grimes |

Hitched: You’re Engaged! Now What?

Last Friday night, Patrick and I took a break from drinking beers and talking smack about Mitt Romney to befriend two couples who happened by our neighborhood bar. They needed…

Andrea Grimes |

Hitched: Getting Through The Rough Patches

I woke up last Sunday morning — well, I don’t know that I was truly awake, but at least I wasn’t in bed any more — and stumbled to the…

Andrea Grimes |

Hitched: Who Does The Most Housework In A Marriage?

And lo, the Lord did create the men and women who populated the earth. The manifold men did go to the office and get good jobs in middle management and…

Andrea Grimes |

Hitched: Shit White, Middle-Class Married People Do

Now that the summer wedding season is winding down, it’s time to shift the focus from the Big Day to the Big Rest Of Your Damned Lives. I’ve only been…

Andrea Grimes |

Hitched: We’re Married, But Our Bank Accounts Aren’t

One of the things I’ve learned, over my many years of roadtripping in and across Texas, is that hell is being stuck going 50 miles per hour behind a recreational…

Andrea Grimes |

Hitched: Jennifer Aniston Will Not Die Pathetic And Alone After All

The world’s saddest person has finally crawled out from under the sad bajillions of dollars she’s made over the years, clawed her way through the sad memories of the last…

Andrea Grimes |

Hitched: Let Them Eat Gay Cake!

Last week, an interracial couple showed up for their wedding cake tasting at a small, family owned bakery in Colorado. But when the shop owner caught sight of the together-for-two-years…

Andrea Grimes |

Hitched: On Love, Politics & Bigotry

The Democratic Party is set to officially incorporate a pro-gay marriage stance into its 2012 convention platform after a 15-member draft committee approved the new pro-marriage equality language over the…

Andrea Grimes |

Hitched: Should Cheaters ‘Fess Up Or Take It To The Grave?

You know how the worst kind of parent will be all, “Oh, you couldn’t possibly understand what it means to truly love another human being until you have a child…

Andrea Grimes |

Hitched: Help Me Platonically Charm The Pants Off My New In-Law Family

In a couple of weeks, I’m going to be living it up in beautiful South Dakota. The occasion: my new grandma-in-law’s octogenarian birthday and combination family reunion. I hear there…

Andrea Grimes |

Hitched: On The Fairy Tale Ending That Katie Holmes Will Not Have

What are you doing right now? Is it after noon? Actually, I don’t care if it is or not: go pour yourself a glass of something cold and boozy and…

Andrea Grimes |

Hitched: How To Get Married Without Being An A**hole

The amazing thing about life is how many complete assholes manage to find someone willing to put up with their bullshit and marry them. When I was a single person,…

Andrea Grimes |

Hitched: How To Be A Good Wedding Guest

I didn’t know how bad I was at being a wedding guest until I had my own wedding. I was bad about gifts and good about stiffing bartenders. Worst of…

Andrea Grimes |

Hitched: Tales Of The Happily Divorced

Last week’s Hitched column was all about the “myth of the happily married woman,” challenging the idea that marriage is some kind of natural state of being for women, who…

Andrea Grimes |

Hitched: The Myth Of The Happily Married Woman

Wouldn’t you feel like shit, and wouldn’t I look like a jerk, if I sat around with this huge pile of adorable kittens and was all, “Oh man, my pile…

Andrea Grimes |

Hitched: Miley Cyrus, Don’t Marry Him, Girl!

Miley Cyrus, pop star and heir to the “Achy, Breaky Heart” fortune, has announced that, at 19 years old, she’s engaged to marry her boyfriend of three years, actor Liam…

Andrea Grimes |

Hitched: Your Elaborately Planned Public Marriage Proposal Is Awkward For Everyone

If you are currently in the process of planning an elaborate and public marriage proposal to your intended, please consider not doing that, not doing that even for a minute,…

Andrea Grimes |