This month has been a big one for public masturbation. A Cosmopolitan blogger wrote about her attempt to masturbate clandestinely on the NYC subway. Spoiler: her session ended with a gyro, not an orgasm. Meanwhile in Sweden … a 65-year-old man who openly pleasured himself on a beach in Stockholm was acquitted because his masturbation was not directed at a specific person. Meaning, it is now considered ”okay” to masturbate in public in Sweden, provided the act does not target another individual. So you can masturbate to the ocean, but not to the woman wearing the string bikini. Got that? We fear that all of this public masturbation hoopla will just further confuse about people about the appropriate times and places to pleasure themselves. That’s why we made this handy flowchart to help you make sure you’re in a safe space to wank.
Profile for Ami Angelowicz & Amelia McDonell-Parry
Anna Kendrick really loved Ryan Gosling’s performance in the movie “Gangster Squad.” More specifically, his performance made her love herself.
“Ugh – NEVER going to a Ryan Gosling movie in a theater again. Apparently masturbating in the back row is still considered ‘inappropriate,’” she tweeted.
We suspect she was joking, but we can’t blame her if she wasn’t. Obviously, Ryan Gosling is a very popular figure in peoples’ spank banks over here. [Daily Mail UK]
Anna Kendrick is hardly the only celeb to discuss diddling. Woody Allen and Dudley Moore have some of the more famous and funny quotes about jerking off, but some more recent stars have mouthed off about self-love too. Keep clicking to find out who …
My college boyfriend believed in Bigfoot all along. He didn’t need scientists’ confirmation or Sasquatch DNA to prove it. But now it looks like we’re about to get definitive proof of the creature’s existence (probably?). So … Bigfoot, you can stop hiding out in random forests for fear of being slain in the name of science and start doing regular homo sapien things like Harry from “Harry and Hendersons” did. Click through for our suggestions. Get out there, dude, and see the world.
We’re so bored of our own text messages. The only people who text us regularly are our mothers. Hi mom! We love you, but blergh. We wonder what kind of sexy text messages celeb couples are exchanging … hmmm. They must me more titillating than ours. Or at least more entertaining.
We’re not followers of Ke$ha’s music, but after hearing about the inspiration for her latest song, “Supernatural,” we’re, well, haunted. “It’s about experiences with the supernatural… but in a sexy way,” she told Ryan Seacrest on his radio show. “I had a couple of experiences with the supernatural. I don’t know his name! He was a ghost! I’m very open to it.” [Huffington Post]
Listen, we’re not totally opposed to concept of their being an afterlife and that some spirits walk amongst us. But we don’t know that we’d be game to get frisky with one either. Doesn’t seem very … intimate. But maybe we’re wrong. After all, Ke$ha is not the only person to have had some sort of sexual encounter with someone or something not quite … human. Read on for more sexual encounters of the third kind…
Ami: I am already anticipating going into a deep depression when this season of “Here Comes Honey Boo” ends. I can feel it coming. And I can’t even bare to think of it. But we still have episodes to discuss and they are still mind-blowing, heart warming and disgusting all at once. I am going to skip the heart warming stuff where Alana and Sugar Bear go on a father/daughter outing to the skating rink and Alana sells lemonade to raise money for her next pageant (collective Awwwwwww), and get into the gizzards of the episode. Prepare yourself for smell breaths and more after the jump. Keep reading »
In case we haven’t made it perfectly clear during Rad Reads Week; we love books. More importantly, we love men who love books. There’s nothing sexier than a hunk curled up with a good book. Well, the only thing better is if he’s reading it naked. Viggo Mortensen is fully clothed, yes. But this picture of him reading The Lord of the Rings is just … no words. Keep on clicking for more book porn.
There was a time not so long ago when famous folk wanted to create the illusion that they were NOT “just like us.” Grace Kelly was never photographed buying jumbo packs of toilet paper! Audrey Hepburn describing where she was the day Aunt Flo first came to visit? HA! Nowadays many female stars, like Jennifer Love Hewitt, are eager to overshare about their private bodily business.
If only JLH had taken a cue from Audrey Hepburn (who she once played in TV movie), we wouldn’t have had to endure news of her vajazzling habits for the last two years. At this point, we’ll never forget that she’s responsible for the ridiculous trend, which involves encrusting one’s pubic area with crystals. But we really wish she would stop talking about it already. At last week’s Upfronts for “The Client List,” she told red carpet reporters that she was vajazzled for the special occasion: “I’m full of good energy [down there]” she told anyone who would listen. Ugh. Make it stop. From bikini waxing and colonics to anal bleaching, here are some other examples of crazy celeb TMI. [Celebitchy]
After watching Ben Flajnik flip his hair and stare off into the distance for an entire season, we are desperate to see something different on “The Bachelor.” We have been desperate for a good “Bachelor” since Charlie O’Connell. And that was like four seasons ago. And he wasn’t even that great. It’s about time that “The Bachelor” franchise diversify. Word on the street is that Lamar Hurd, a Portland-based sportscaster may be the first black “Bachelor.” Hot, humble, kind and looks amazing with his shirt off. Oh God yes, please. “Bachelor” franchise, hear our plea: cast Lamar! There is room for all types of Bachelors and Bachelorettes on your show. Some of our suggestions after the jump. [EW] Keep reading »
Bristle worms are a species of deep-sea-dwelling worms that, at just the right angle under a macro camera lens, happen to look exactly like … vaginas! Wow, that’s a striking likeness. Click through to see more creatures that resemble ladyflowers. [Buzzfeed]