“Michelle and I have used the strategy when it comes to things like tattoos – what we’ve said to the girls is, ‘If you guys ever decide you’re going to get a tattoo, then mommy and me will get the same exact tattoo in the same place. And we’ll go on YouTube and show it off as a family tattoo. And our thinking is that might dissuade them from thinking that somehow that’s a good way to rebel.”
–Barack Obama discusses he and Michelle’s tattoo policy for his daughters on “Today.” I don’t know, that seems pretty hip to have your parents get matching tattoos and show them off on YouTube. I think that might actually encourage me to get inked just to see if my parents would follow through. [CS Monitor]
A kilt may not be your best friend because, while it provides easy access to the junk, let’s admit it, it can be hard to get it up for a man in a skirt. (I know, I know. It’s not a skirt, it’s traditional Scottish garb.) Even if he does have a sexy accent and you’ve hired him to power-wash your drain gutters (that wasn’t a pun, that service exists), getting aroused by a kilted man may prove difficult. But according the latest issue of Scottish Medical Journal, we’ll need to get over it because a guy in a kilt is a God amongst men:
“In addition to keeping their scrotum at a cooler temperature, which research proves can boost sperm count, kilt wearers enjoy psychological benefits, such as feeling more masculine and proud and enjoying positive attention from sexual admirers…”
A kilt makes a man both fertile and virile … if you like that kind of thing or if you’re trying to make a baby. And even if you aren’t that into free-hanging fruit, they’ll think you are. Once this news gets out, it’s going to be Tartan Day every day. [Jezebel]
Kelly McGrevey of Akron, Ohio was told that she was too fat to tan. McGrevey claims that Aloha Tanning Salon’s management told her she was too big to fit in their beds, but only after they sold her a membership and collected her money. After outing Aloha for being sizeist money grubbers on the local media and Facebook, they’ve agreed to give McGrevey a full refund for her membership. Graciously, another local tanning salon, Tanner’s, is giving McGrevey use of their beds for one month for free. I guess she’ll fit in a tanning bed after all.
It’s amazing to me that this woman would be turned away from a tanning salon but that Tanning Mom and her 5-year-old daughter can breeze in no problem. As a person who’s had skin cancer, I can’t say I fully support exposure to UV rays, but I hope Kelly McGrevey gets golden freaking brown just to stick it to the assholes at Aloha. [KHOU]
After an accident left 43-year-old Rafe Biggs a quadriplegic, he found a new way to experience sexual pleasure. About a year after becoming paralyzed, Rafe discovered that he has a “surrogate penis”… on his hand when he was able to have an orgasm by having his girlfriend suck his thumb.
“I felt this build-up of energies and felt I was getting closer and closer to orgasm … When I did it was one wave of pleasure after another – it was amazing. I never thought it would be possible, but massaging and sucking on my thumb, feels a lot like my penis used to feel – it’s really hot,” said Rafe.
Doctors call this a “transfer orgasm,” when another body part gives the same sensation as the genitals. I call that un-fucking-believable. Good for Rafe and his penis thumb. [IB Times]
Click onward for more of the craziest orgasm stories.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do. On her way to Coachella this weekend, Victoria’s Secret model Alessandra Ambrosio whipped out her electric razor and did little on-the-go grooming in her Escalade. Somehow, she managed to make shaving in public look classy. I’m going to remember this for the next time I’m running late and need to pull an Alessandra on the subway. [Moe Jackson] [Photos: INF Daily]
New Zealand man Ronald Clark was sentenced to three months in jail for possession of pornography featuring cartoon fantasy creatures having sex. Clark, who was previously convicted of assaulting a teenage boy, claimed that the salacious materials were of “pixies and trolls” that “you knew at a glance weren’t human.” However, the cartoon characters in the porn were young elves and pixies, which led to concerns from an anti-child pornography group that the images were linked to child sexual abuse. As philosophy professor Grant Tavinor put it:
“The worry is that viewing or distributing such images could support the sexual exploitation of children even if the production of the images did not actually involve the exploitation of any children. It’s not enough that no one was harmed in the making of the videos, the law takes a protective role and says there are some things we just don’t want circulating in society …The ways a person entertains [himself] is not morally negligible. But for the purposes of law it is probably important to distinguish between these because convicting someone for their moral views is very dangerous.”
What do you think? Should it be illegal to watch certain kinds of porn or is that taking it too far? [Stuff]
Will I ever tire of “My Crazy Obsession” and the special individuals they feature? Answer: NO. This week’s episode features Barry Levinson, whose obsession with mustard started 26 years ago when he was shopping at an all-night grocery store and heard “a voice” tell him to collect mustard.
“You don’t argue with voices at 2:30 in the morning,” Barry explained. Nope, I agree. Those types of voices are usually a precursor to getting committed. But Barry didn’t get committed. Rather, he committed himself to his favorite, yellow condiment. Now he has the largest mustard collection in the world. His 5,500 jars from 50 states and 80 countries is estimated to be worth about $25,000. Who knew condiments could be so lucrative! Barry must surely have enough mustard to spare a dollop or two for doing things like, say, brushing his teeth with it. WHICH HE DOES. I love me some mustard on my sandwich too, but I draw the line at putting it on my toothbrush. I guess I’ll have to watch the whole episode this Wednesday to find out what other creative uses Barry’s found for mustard. I’m scared. [TLC]
I was compelled to hate watch Ryan Lochte’s new reality show, “What Would Ryan Lochte Do?” and I’m here to report back that, JEAH, he is just as purely, ridiculously idiotic as you imagined. I’ve narrowed the episode down to my favorite scene for the sake of brevity. But you should know, there were so many unbelievable moments. Like when the producer asked him if he was a player and Ryan responded, “Describe player.”
But far and away, the most entertaining tidbit is when Ryan is having a movie night with his sisters and reveals that his favorite flick is “What Women Want.” But he calls it “What Woman Wants.” Ryan gets a lot of things wrong. He also takes very long pauses after being asked questions and rarely finishes his sentences. “One of my favorite movies is ‘What Woman Want.’ The Mel Gibson one … If I could read woman’s minds, I would be king of the world,” he says. I don’t know if that’s the case. Keep reading »