Thanks to a survey conducted by Unilever Deodorants, we now know that men are — surprise!– terribly unrealistic when it comes to time management. We also learned that more than half of guys under the age of 34 suffer from serious FOMO, that lots of dudes text while pooping and that they make to-do lists in their head while having sex. Good to know.
Speaking of sex, the research revealed that men want to spend a lot more time having sex. Like, a lot. Hide your vagina. Although most guys “finish” in a timely manner, the men surveyed said that their “ideal day” would include, on average, 4 hours and 19 minutes of sex! They must need more time to finish their to-do lists. Keep reading »
“We’ve set our guidelines really high, and people will not understand that. They’ll be like, ‘That’s weird. How are you going to show you really love the guy if you’re not having sex with him before marriage?’ But that’s where we purpose in this stage of our relationship to focus on building strong communication because anyone can just go out and have sex. [As] time goes on, maybe at engagement, we’ll talk about hand holding, but we want to save our first kiss for marriage, too…In today’s day and time it’s a little bit strange to be in your early 20s and have not had sex, but it’s how our parents did it. It’s how our grandparents did it. We have a self-respect where we feel confident in who we are, even apart from having a sexual relationship. In a monogamous relationship where it’s just one man and one woman there’s like a zero percent chance of you contracting that type of sexually transmitted disease, but when you’re promiscuous and just go out and live like however — having sex with every guy who comes along — then there’s a huge chance, a probably 80 percent chance you’ll come down with something like that and get something that will really affect you for the rest of your life.”
Jessa Duggar says some whack shit about sex in an interview with Cosmo.com. I think her most disturbing insinuation is that there’s no middle ground between being a virgin and “having sex with every guy who comes along.” For the record, some of us sluts occasionally set our guidelines really high. And when we do choose to have sex (not with every guy who comes along), it’s not because we lack self-respect or are trying to prove our love, it’s because we feel like it. Keep reading »
Comedian Ari Teman found no humor in the state of his apartment when he returned after renting it out to a verified user on AirBNB. Tenman claims he left his keys on Friday afternoon with a man named David Carter who said he needed a place his in-laws could stay for a weekend wedding. Tenman went to dinner and when he returned, realizing he had forgotten his luggage, found a sex party in his apartment.
“The worst part of the Internet was right there in my apartment,” Teman told the New York Post. “There were all sorts of [nearly nude, overweight people] walking out of my apartment and people coming in from the back yard. It was a huge mess. [Carter] had a look of horror on his face. He didn’t expect to see me for a few days. He said, ‘They shut us down, man, they’re shutting it down.’ ”
The “it” they were shutting down, Teman later discovered, was an “XXX FREAK FEST.” Specifically, a BBW PANTY RAID PARTY. You can see the NSFW twitter invitation is after the jump. Keep reading »
A new report conducted by the Urban Institute on the economics of sex work in the United States turned up some interesting results in the financial life of a pimp. The Institute interviewed imprisoned former pimps and asked them how they allocated their funds. The graph above reflects the percentage that participating pimps reported spending on each category. The economics of pimping were found to mimic other businesses (minus the expenditures on illegal substances and weapons). Researchers say that main difference between prostitution and other small business was that many of the pimps admitted to manipulating their employees into working for them, either by pretending to be romantically interested or by taking advantage of their weaknesses. Disturbingly, the pimps seem to have spent more on drugs and alcohol than condoms for their employees. [Washington Post]
The five frat boys from the University of Houston who broke into Sea World San Antonio clearly did not see the documentary “Blackfish,” a film about the park’s orca whales and all the people they injured or killed in captivity. Otherwise, there’s no way in hell they would have scaled the walls in the middle of the night to eat Dippin’ Dots ice cream and take selfies with the killer whales. Those of us who did see the film will never forget what happened to the gentleman who snuck into the Sea World high on drugs to take an orca joyride. Tilikum killed him. Tily and his offspring, while emotional, majestic animals under the right conditions (namely, not in captivity), are not toys to be played with. And I’m certain that they hate dumbass bros who try to takes selfies with them. Keep reading »
Good news,word nerds. For the first time in nearly a decade, Scrabble has decided to add a new word to their official player’s dictionary. Even better news: they are letting players choose that word. From now until March 28, you can visit Hasbro Game Night’s Facebook page and and enter your word in the #ScrabbleWordShowdown. In April, the public will be able to vote on 16 options, and the winning word will be added to the dictionary in August.So far, nominees include Zen, Emotypo, Qwirkle, Onesie, Ziyaad and Kwyibo. I’m pulling for Onesie, concept wise, Kwyibo, points wise. Add your suggestions in the comments. [People]
Cosmo is well on its way to owning the “food/sex experimentation” beat. First, Anna Breslaw attempted to masturbate on the NYC subway while eating a gyro, and now Mark Shrayber tried to use pizza as a “sex toy.” (At least it happened in the privacy of his own home.) The phrase “pizza as a sex toy” is probably conjuring images of mozzarella cheese and tomato sauce stuck to a thatch of pubic hair. Let me explain in more detail how one uses pizza as a “sex toy.” Hint: it’s not so different from the man who used a Domino’s Pizza as a gloryhole and burnt his penis or the teen who recently posted a video of himself fucking a hot pocket. Pizza sex is en trende, peeps! Keep reading »