Profile for Ami Angelowicz


Decode My Dream: Dinner With An Angry Lesbian

I just woke up from a strange dream and need your analysis. In my dream, a pretty woman picks me up from my office for a dinner date. (I’m not a lesbian in real life, by the way.) She’s dressed like a guy and is seemingly laid-back and quiet, with an intense smile. We are seated in our booth and make small talk. She keeps picking on the waiter by ordering really specific things. Apparently, when our entrees arrive, she is unhappy and excuses herself from the table. I’m still seated and soon I hear loud arguing coming from the dining room. I refuse to turn around because I’m pretty sure my date is yelling at the waiter. I feel people glancing over at me and I’m embarrassed. Soon, she returns, looking disheveled and bruised. I ask if everything’s OK and she smiles at me and says, “Yes, but we have to leave.” So, we leave without paying for or eating our meals. Once we return to my office’s parking lot, she stops in the middle of the road to let me out, without a word. She also glances at the message on my phone from a colleague asking to meet up for drinks later on (not a date, just a friend). I tell her “thank you for the evening” and open her backseat to get my laptop and gym bag out. Before I can get a firm grasp on my bags, I feel the car pulling away; luckily, I’m holding on to them and they slide out of the car as she starts to drive off. Her car doors are still open and she stops to close them. I reach the car before she can and ask why she just pulled off. She barely looks at me and says, “I thought you got everything you needed.” I just walk away looking for my car, feeling angry. What does this mean? — Dating Nightmare

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The Daily Ovulation: Say Hello To Our Little Friends

Everybody is talking about this kiddie version of “Scarface” that hit YouTube this week. In this stage version of the cult classic, a little Tony with a painted-on scar has piles of popcorn instead of cocaine and drops the word “fudge” instead of the f-bomb. No doubt Pacino would be proud. A mini Pfieffer in a blond wig calls Tony “a son of a B.’” Ha!
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9 Teens Charged After Classmate Commits Suicide

Nine Massachusetts teens were charged today with statutory rape, violation of civil rights, criminal harassment and disturbing a school assembly in conjunction with a bullying incident. Back in January, 15-year-old Phoebe Prince was jumped by a group of male and female students in the school library and hallways. Phoebe was verbally harassed, physically abused, and even raped as she was making her way home from school. Why? The group was angry that she had briefly dated one of the guys and they wanted to teach her a lesson. Shortly after, Phoebe took her own life. What a lesson. Keep reading »

10 Famous Villainesses For Angelina Jolie To Look Up To

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No matter how many children she adopts or humanitarian causes she takes up, the scent of evil bitch clings to Angelina Jolie like a cheap perfume. I don’t care what anyone says, that woman scares the crap out of me. That’s why she’s the perfect actress to play Maleficent, the villainess from Disney’s “Sleeping Beauty” who curses princess Aurora. The rumor around Tinsel Town is that Tim Burton is going to be working his dark magic on a version of “Sleeping Beauty” told from the point of view of Maleficent. I can’t think of a better role for Angie to play. And fresh off of an IMAX, 3-D viewing of “Alice In Wonderland,” I can’t wait for another Burton masterpiece. After the jump, 10 other villainesses that Angelina can draw inspiration from. On second thought … she might not need any. [Celebitchy]

Why You Need To Know About “The Diary Of A Teenage Girl”

Combine three of my passions — graphic novels, theater, and teenagers — and you’ve pretty much got my artistic dream come true. Last night, I saw the play The Diary of a Teenage Girl, adapted by Marielle Heller from a graphic novel with the same title by Phoebe Gloeckner. The book uses diary entries, letters, poems, songs, and drawings to tell the very serious story of Minnie, a 15-year-old girl living in San Francisco in the 1970s, who has an affair with her mother’s boyfriend. Even though Gloeckner won’t confirm how much of the story is based in reality (it reads 100 percent autobiographical), she claims that the book, which took her seven years to complete, “almost killed her.” When writer and actress Marielle Heller read the book, The Diary of a Teenage Girl three years ago, she knew it would have an impact onstage. Keep reading »

Meet Auntie Vie, Pamela Anderson’s “DWTS” Inspiration

Pamela Anderson is one of our fave contestants on this season of “Dancing With the Stars.” Why? Of course the world’s most downloaded woman brings an unprecedented trashiness to the stage that makes us giddy, but what really tugs at our heartstrings is her inspiration for competing. Unlike the other contestants, she’s not doing this dancing thingy to get in shape, jump-start a dead career, or make her trashy new fiancé (ahem, Vienna) proud; she’s doing it for her eccentric Aunt. Yup. Keep reading »

14 Couples We’d Like To See Procreate

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We are all really excited at the possibility that the King and Queen of the Universe may have a little prince or princess on the way to carry on their empire. I feel like I’m part of Greek mythology or something. No doubt that baby Hova will do the House of Dereon proud. This kid is bound to be wealthy … and not just because he or she inherits beaucoup bucks from Mommy B and Daddy J … because it’s genetic. I wonder how baby Carter will make his/her first million? Now that Beyonce and Jay-Z might have a bun in the oven, here are some other couples that we think should get busy gettin’ busy. After the jump, some more couples that we’d like to see procreate.

A Brief, Yet Slightly Disturbing, History Of The Condom

In case you were curious about the evolution of the condom—you know that rubber thingy that people hate to use but have to—here is an illustrated look at its history, by Corinne Marshall and Jordan Monsell. Next time a dude complains about wearing one, just remind him that you could try it the old-fashioned way and have him put his ween in a tortoise’s a** or a pig intestine. He’ll have that thing on in a jiffy. I’m almost picturing the caption for 2020: “Banana Ointment.” [Mad Atoms] Keep reading »

Mamma Mia! An ABBA Reunion?

Are you ready to break out your one-piece, polyester bell-bottom jumpsuit and your dancing queen platforms? There is a chance that the Nordic, disco-tastic foursome, ABBA, may be reuniting. I know, I know—I never really considered it possible to see them live again since they’ve gone on record saying that they would never get back together. They even turned down a $1 billion tour so that their fans could remember them as the young, hot, exuberant Swedes they once were and not the old folks they are now. But with the success of “Mamma Mia!” and a recent induction into the Rock n’ Roll Hall of Fame, they may take a chance on reuniting. Keep reading »

On To Bigger And Better Things? 10 Celebs Who Left Hit TV Shows

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I know you are really, really upset—but can you stop crying for a second so we can talk about the fact that Katherine Heigl is finally leaving “Grey’s Anatomy”? Long overdue, as far as I’m concerned. She has been annoying me since day one. How bad can the job really be? Hmmm, let’s see. You get paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to show up on set for 12 episodes—then you get half the year off. Yeah, I think I’d quit too.

Her publicist claims she’s out of there because she wants to spend more time with her newly adopted daughter, and that becoming a mother has “changed [her] desire to work full-time.” That’s sounds like sunshine and moonbeams and all, but the truth is that she’s been petitioning to get Dr. Izzie Stevens written off for the last three years. Since her BFF T.R. Knight left, I suspect. At least we can have some fun imagining how they might get rid of her. Drug overdose? Amnesia? Doctors Without Borders? Sex tape? Fun! Anyways, considering her last few movies were ludicrous rom-coms and she has a rep for biting the hand that feeds her, I’m thinking she may not be too popular in Hollywood after this. [E! Online]

After the jump, some other celebs who have left cushy TV jobs for bigger and better things. Let’s see how they fared.

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