While some see Oprah’s fire walk as a publicity stunt to save OWN’s plummeting ratings, I see it as a sign that she hasn’t changed at all. She’s still the badass that took over daytime television and she intends to stay that way. She wouldn’t be Oprah if she didn’t come onstage with a wagon of fat, or live as a colonial woman for a week, or go on a road trip with Gayle, her not-lesbian lover. That is what Oprah does. She goes big. She makes noise. She goes to Anthony Robbins’ “Unleash Your Power Within” seminars and walks on hot coals to prove that those who achieve greatness take action. I refuse to hate on that. Mind over matter, girl! Show those coals who’s boss! [Limelife]
So what if she’s 45? Michelle Duggar’s reproductive organs are not going silently into that good night. Jim Bob has fertilized her, yet again. The pair announced today that they are three months gone with number 20. “I was not thinking that God would give us another one, and we are just so grateful,” she said. “We didn’t want to stop on an odd number,” Jim Bob added. Though her last pregnancy with two-year-old Josie, who was born three months prematurely, was a difficult one, Michelle has been doing all she can to make sure she’s as healthy as possible for the birth of their next baby — including eating lots of dill pickles and working out five or six days a week. We look forward to meeting the baby once it comes out of the slip n’ slide which is Michelle’s vaginal canal. The Duggar clan is one step closer to populating their very own city. Our congrats to them! [TooFab, MSNBC]
Gather round children and I shall share with you the secrets of the world’s laziest cook. That’s me! I come from a short line of lazy chefs. Namely, my mom, whose favorite prepared meal is Fritos and onion dip and my dad who makes a mean cereal and milk. Needless to say, I am self-taught in the kitchen. My cooking limitations became more troublesome after a series of breakups with boyfriends whom I persuaded to cook for me left all alone to fend for myself for every meal. I had no option but to learn how to become a kick ass lazy chef. I usually end up dining out or getting take out — ideal for the eater willing to exert minimal effort. On the rare occasion that I feel moved to cook (I do possess a preternatural feel for building flavor) or I am forced to prepare a meal (like if I just got sex or I’m trying to!), I have a few go-to meals that I can easily prepare using my one pan, three bowls, set of dull steak knives, and the other pathetic contents of my kitchen. Allow yourself to be dazzled by my never-before-seen collection of lazy people recipes. Bon appetit, lazy peeps!
Actor and model Taylor Kinney, who played Lady Gaga’s love interest in the “Yoü And I” video, is rumored to be canoodling with her in real life. Her reps have been saying she’s too busy for anything serious, but she thinks he’s “super cute.” Obviously. This past week, Taylor was spotted accompanying Gaga to her London hotel room, which means they must be madly in love forever and ever! Or not. I don’t really care as long as she’s done with Lüc Carl and his ugly umlaut face. After the jump, five things you should know about Lady Gaga’s new (maybe) boyfriend, Taylor Kinney.
Keep reading »
Mariah Yeater, the woman claiming to have birthed the fruit of Justin Bieber’s loins, is speaking about the night they allegedly did it. He took an immediate liking to her, she says. After that, he took her to a bathroom backstage where he went from being “cute and gushy” to “more aggressive.” This story is completely and totally true, Mariah asserts, and she has evidence to prove it in court. Justin Bieber is denying fathering a child with a woman he claims never met, saying, “I know that I’m going to be a target, but I’m never going to be a victim” (nice line Justin’s publicist!). He plans to take a DNA test as soon as he returns from Europe to prove his innocence. The only person who appears to believe the allegations is Selena Gomez, who dumped the Biebs over the weekend. We’re looking forward to the denouement of this scandal. As fun as it would be for this story to be true, there’s just no way. [The Insider, People]
Sometimes watching a good food movie is just as satisfying as the food itself. Living vicariously through the golden ticket winners in “Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory” has been my favorite dessert substitute since I was a chubby eight-year-old with a restricted sugar intake. “They get to eat all the candy they want!!” I would squeal as the lucky children ate their way through a warehouse of candy. I just couldn’t believe their good fortune. Side note: When is someone going to invent lick-able wall paper? I want it now! Click through to see more food films that satisfy our hunger.