Profile for Ami Angelowicz

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Decode My Dream: My Girlfriend Is On Trial For Murder!

Ami AngelowiczNovember 25, 2009 //

On the night of my 10th anniversary of dating my girlfriend (yes, we are still not married) I had a dream that she killed a man on our weekend getaway. He touched her butt and she got angry and then stabbed him with scissors and pushed him in the river. I was questioned about the murder (I saw it from afar) and at first I started to lie, but then came clean and told the police everything.  She was carted off to jail, I gave her $1000 for attorney’s fees and then we were broken up.  I cried and then I was like, “Well I guess it is time to start new.” It got fuzzy after that but I think another witness came forward and testified that it was self-defense and she was going to get off. I’m not sure what happened next. Weird right? – Dating A Murderer

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Women Hate Their Bodies About As Much As Men Love Sex

Ami AngelowiczNovember 24, 2009 //

I think we all know that women’s obsession with body image is a cultural epidemic. I feel like it’s common practice to hear not only myself, but also my friends, saying derogatory things about their bodies—too fat, big butt, hate my nose, my skin, hair. Sadly, I don’t know a woman who isn’t guilty of this heinous offense. In case we wanted to remain in denial about what a problem this is, a new study is giving us a reality check about exactly how often we are not just saying, but thinking, these awful things about ourselves. Thirty-six times a day! That’s 1.5 times an hour and 252 times a week that women are thinking negative thoughts about their appearance. Keep reading »

Football Losses Linked To Uptick In Domestic Violence

Ami AngelowiczNovember 24, 2009 //

We know that dudes, and many ladies, take their football really seriously. And, of course, losing sucks. But did you know it could also be dangerous? A new study shows that episodes of domestic violence are linked to local NFL losses. Yikes. Researchers looked at domestic violence reports from 1995 to 2006 and found that on nights when home teams lost, there was an 8 percent increase in incidents of domestic violence. That statistic nearly doubled when rival teams were playing one another. Obviously, researchers believe that football is not to blame for the incident, but may act as a trigger to anger. The data corresponds with that theory, as most of the violent episodes tended to take place about three hours after the end of a game. I also have to wonder what role alcohol plays in this picture. Either way … these results are awful. Just to be clear, a man should be able to accept his favorite team losing without harming anyone. [Newser] Keep reading »

‘Tweens Behaving Badly

Ami AngelowiczNovember 23, 2009 //


Even if ‘tweens totally terrify you, you must show them some love for what they consistently do well—they bring the mother-effing ruckus. No matter what year, no matter what conditions, no matter what cute boy is involved, ‘tweens are kind of like cockroaches. Nothing on earth can keep them from causing a hysterical scene over the objects of their young affections. This past Friday, 3,000 ‘tweens rioted at a mall in New Jersey on Long Island. Arrests were made and a few were sent to the hospital after lots o’ screaming girls went apes**t—pushing and shoving just a bit too much, possessed with unbridled passion. Who were they getting all hot and bothered about? Teen singing sensation Justin Bieber. Is it bad that I don’t know who he is? Poor Justin had to turn around and leave after security deemed it unsafe for him to enter the building. Check out this video filmed by a ‘tween on the scene. Wait, is that Justin Bieber in the background, butchering “Love Fool,” originally by The Cardigans? Oh my … ‘tweenagers sure are interesting mini-people. After the jump, some more tweentastic moments. Keep reading »

Evangelical Dieting Is Sweeping The Nation

Ami AngelowiczNovember 23, 2009 //

If you think colon cleanses, air diets, and cookie diets are bizarro fads, you haven’t heard anything yet. There’s a new dieting trend based on … well … Jesus. That’s right. If you want to be thin, you should pray your way there on a faith diet. While there have been faith diets around since the ’80s, there seems to be a sudden increase in converts. The idea is to take the principles of Christianity and apply them to eating. Keep reading »

How Jason Segal Met Me

Ami AngelowiczNovember 23, 2009 //


Jason Segal doesn’t know it yet, but he is my intended. We once had a run-in at a New Year’s Eve party, but when he said, “Hello,” I got all tripped up and spilled champagne on myself. Fail. But I keep hope in my heart, and love to watch his movies and pine. Luckily, it looks like my moment has finally come. Last night at a Los Angeles show with band The Swell Season—made up of Marketa Irglova and Glen Hansard from the movie “Once”—Jason got up and performed a little ditty he wrote. When he asked for songwriting advice (I think he is trying to break out of the Dracula puppet genre, even though I find it charming), Marketa told him, “Write a song from the heart and include as much personal information as possible.” And that he did, my friends. In a move that I can only call “a miraculous turn of events for me,” he included his digits!!! If you’ll excuse me now, I have a very important phone call to make. I really hope it’s not a fake number. [BuzzFeed] Keep reading »

The Curse Of The Lifetime Movie?

Ami AngelowiczNovember 21, 2009 //

I’ve developed a theory. Maybe I am just overly paranoid, but there seems to be some kind of curse associated with starring in a Lifetime movie. The pattern is: be in a Lifetime movie and then things go down the tubes. Take, for example, former “American Idol” Fantasia Barrino. I knew that her Lifetime flick “The Fantasia Barrino Story,” in which she starred as … um … herself, would be a stinker, but are you aware of what’s become of her life since then? She’s broke, her $1.3 million mansion is allegedly in foreclosure, she’s dating a married man who works at T-Mobile, and she’s supposedly starring in an unscripted VH-1 reality show with Rudy from “The Cosby Show.” This is very, very bad, people. I’m starting to think this Lifetime curse is legit. [Celebitchy]

After the jump, several more stars who have fallen prey to the Lifetime curse. Keep reading »

You Want What? 10 Outrageous Celebrity Requests

Ami AngelowiczNovember 21, 2009 //
Outrageous Celebrity Requests

If you’re a celebrity, it’s not unusual to request a long list of luxurious items to make you feel right at home in your dressing room. No request is too big or too small (or too ridiculous) to be accommodated. That, and death may come upon the head of the person who says no. Here’s what Britney Spears is allegedly requesting for her new gig as an “X Factor” judge: 12 Snickers bars, six cases of Diet Coke, which must be replenished every week, 10 bags of Doritos a day, 12 vases of magnolia blossoms in her dressing room, 10 pieces of chicken and four pints of potato salad every week. Wait, what about the Cheetos? She needs Cheetos! Sounds like Brit will be having a down-home BBQ back there every night. Click through to see some more outrageous celebrity demands that you won’t believe. Who do these people think they are? [WOW]

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I Learned How To Dance From The Interwebs

Ami AngelowiczNovember 20, 2009 //


Confession: my secret dream has always been to be a dancer. Harsh reality: I am a hot, awkward mess on the dance floor. Back in the day, I used to be the wallflower at the party watching other people get down … until one fateful night when, with the help of a little liquid courage, I got the nerve to cut loose and try some moves I had seen online. And I discovered a new way to tear it up—to rock the worst dance moves possible. Yes, I became the best-worst dancer at every party and received all the negative-positive attention so rightly owed to me. Who do I have to thank for the revelation? Soulja Boy, who taught me how to crank the “Superman.” Bonus points if you know what it means to “Superman that ho.” Thank you for your fine lyrics and hot moves, Soulja! But a dancer has to keep her moves fresh. That’s why I’m always cruisin’ the web for the newest dance craze that will help me keep my skillz sharp and ready for any dance-off in da club. After the jump, my fave internet dance crazes. Keep reading »

Are You Ready To Pay A “Botax?”

Ami AngelowiczNovember 20, 2009 //

As the Senate attempts to suck the fat out of the 2,000-plus-page health care reform bill, there is one provision that donkeys are fighting to keep intact. Democrats have proposed a way to nip and tuck a few Benjamins to help pay for the health care reform plan. I’ll give you a hint—it doesn’t have to do with abortions, mammograms, or pap smears—or any procedures women actually need. They plan to raise $5 billion over the next 10 years by taxing 5 percent on all cosmetic surgery procedures. Want a tummy tuck, silicon bubbies, or some warm botulism injected into your face? Under this provision, you’ll have to pay a tax. Reconstructive surgeries due to cancer or injury would not be subject to the tax. Naturally the American Academy of Cosmetic Surgery is against this “Botax.” So what do you think? Is the “Botax” a good idea? [NY Daily News] Keep reading »

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