Profile for Ami Angelowicz

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Miley Cyrus Eats Liam Hemsworth’s Penis Cake Like A Pro

Miley Boob Tweet
Of course Miley Cyrus tweets about her boobs. Read More »

Last week Miley Cyrus celebrated boyfriend Liam Hemsworth’s 21st birthday by licking a confectionery replica of a penis. My, what a large cake. She looks like she’s done this before. It’s all that any man could wish of his 19-year-old girlfriend — that she be well-versed in giving cake jobs. See the NSFW version after the jump. [TMZ] Keep reading »

Pork: The Other Nasal Tampon

Fart In A Jar
An open letter to the girl who sold her fart on Ebay. Read More »
Gross Beauty Rituals
The gross things we do to be beautiful. Read More »
Vodka-Soaked Tampons?
tampon photo
Don't try this (probably urban legend) at home, kids! Read More »

Breaking news:

“Cured salted pork crafted as a nasal tampon and packed within the nasal vaults successfully stopped nasal hemorrhage promptly, effectively … this represents the first description of nasal packing with strips of cured pork for treatment of life-threatening hemorrhage in a patient.” 

What that means exactly:  The life of a Michigan woman, suffering from a hereditary disorder which caused uncontrollable nosebleeds, was spared by stuffing pork up her nose. Next time you get a nosebleed, you know what to do. Put some bacon up in there. [The Guardian]

What Your Pencil Says About You

Wack Sex Facts
15 things you don't really need to know! Read More »
To Pee Or Not To Pee...
...specifically in the shower. Do you? Read More »
Scary By State
what is coming for us
What scares the crap out of us by state. Read More »
European Penis
A map of Europe by penis size. Read More »

This is what your pencil would say about you if anyone used pencils anymore. Do you know anyone who does? If I had any artistic ability whatsoever, I would remake this chart but with penises instead. [The Shelter Of Magnolias]

Squirrel Friend In A Coma

Sloth Bath
Baby sloths at bath time. Watch »
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Squirrel Friend in a coma. I know, I know. It’s serious. If you can think of a better one-liner to describe this video of a fat squirrel who overdid it on the nuts, please share. [Does she have diabetes like Paula Deen? It reminds me of when Maury Povich used to rescue obese people from their houses. I'm sad about the squirrel. -- Editor] [Morrissey was sad about his girlfriend in a coma too. -- Ami] [But it's Morrissey, so he was kind of happy at the same time. -- Julie] [Buzzfeed]

Let’s Talk About All The Things Wrong With This Photo Of Michael Cera And Ben Flajnik

Bachelor Liveblog!
Tune is as Amelia gets drunk and offers pithy commentary. Read More »

As Amelia said when she looked at this picture of actor Michael Cera and “Bachelor” Ben Flajnik at a Sundance Film Festival party, “There are a lot of things about this that make me uncomfie.”  I couldn’t agree more. I had a visceral feeling of discomfort the moment I saw it. I have so many questions. First: Why was Ben invited to Sundance? Please don’t tell me he’s trying to be an actor now. Continuing on: What’s up with Michael’s mustache? His hat? Why is he holding Ben in such a lascivious fashion? Did they know each other before this moment? Or is Michael just trying to be ironic? Why is Ben so boring? OK. Your turn! [Michael Cera looks like my ex-boyfriend in that photo. Oof. -- Editor] [Pop Sugar]

5 Things You Need To Know About Those Born In The Year Of The Dragon

Friskyscopes!
Check out Kiki T's forecast for your sign! Read More »
No More Horoscopes
Dater X explains why she gave up horoscopes. Read More »
Love Life Predictions
Do you believe predictions about your love life? Read More »

Happy Chinese New Year! Today is officially the start of The Year of the Dragon. I know what you’re all thinking: but what does this Year of the Dragon business have to do with me? (First of all, find out if you were born in the Year of the Dragon here. If you weren’t, find out what your Chinese Zodiac sign is here.) Well, at least that’s what I was thinking. I was born in the Year of the Horse, which means I’m adaptable, intelligent, funny, diplomatic and a total workaholic. Oh, you don’t care? OK fine. Whinny, whinny. Stomp, stomp. (That was the Horse in me throwing a little tantrum.) After the jump, some things you need to know about these Dragon people who will be hogging the astrological spotlight all year long. Ahem, may I just point out that dragons aren’t even real? Keep reading »

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