Profile for Ami Angelowicz

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Girl Talk: Placing A Personal Ad (Almost) Ruined My Will To Date

Ami AngelowiczJanuary 14, 2010 //

When I was offered the opportunity to be one of “New York’s Most Eligible Bachelorettes” in a major local magazine, I laughed out loud. “There’s no way I will ever meet a guy that way,” I complained to my friends. “Why even bother? I already meet tons of guys. They just all suck. Plus, I’m happy alone.” After much coaxing, I decided my friends were right. I couldn’t turn down a professional photo shoot or an opportunity to get as close as I ever would to my fantasy of becoming the next “Bachelorette.” If only I liked to wear bikinis and go bungee-jumping, maybe ABC would consider me for the series. Keep reading »

Behold The Music Flesh Map

Ami AngelowiczJanuary 13, 2010 //

Fleshmap is a series of studies done by artists dedicated to an inquiry into human desire and its expression through touch, feel, and sound. Yep—it’s a little bit of crazy art science for ya. My favorite study on the site is about music genres and body parts. It maps out the body parts invoked most often in songs of different genres. Notice how eyes are number one in all genres—with the exceptions of hip-hop, where it’s all about booty, and gospel and blues, where hands rule. [Fleshmap.com] Keep reading »

Judging “American Idol” Guest Judge Victoria Beckham

Ami AngelowiczJanuary 13, 2010 //


Welcome all, to “American Idol” season nine. Will this season be the death rattle of “Idol” or a spectacular rebirth? It’s the first season after Paula-gate and the last season before Simon quits. For the auditions shows, Victoria Beckham, Mary J. Blige, Joe Jonas, Neil Patrick Harris, and Katy Perry are stepping in as guest judges—all leading up to Ellen DeGeneres taking Paula’s abandoned chair. We are all on pins and needles waiting to find out if the new mix of judges will be pitch-perfect or pure cacophony. Last night the show premiered in Beantown with the usual mix of talentless freakazoids, manipulative human-interest contestants, and the Hollywood-bound few. Eh … if you’ve seen auditions once, you’ve seen them all. But I was less interested in the contestants and more interested in the bobblehead known as Posh Spice, who said judging “Idol” was a “dream come true.” The producers tried to edit Posh to be the kind and compassionate guest judge, but all I saw was weird robot bug eyes and a blank stare. Especially with that crazy headscarf on. Did anyone else notice how she just repeated whatever the other judges said? Plus, she swiveled in her chair the whole time. She must have been too hungry and self-absorbed to come up with original critiques. Keep reading »

What Ever Happened To The Kids From “Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory”?

Ami AngelowiczJanuary 12, 2010 //

Oompah-Loompa, Doompity Doo. I’ve got an exciting update for you! If you weren’t obsessed with “Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory”—the 1971 version, not the Tim Burton remake—when you were a kid, then you probably weren’t born yet or maybe you lived in a remote cave. Weird kids, candy galore, a magical factory with little singing orange men? What’s not to like? I drove my parents crazy, watching the VHS tape no less than four times a week, learning all of the songs. I still do a great rendition of Veruca Salt’s “I Want the World” British accent and all. I begged my parents for lick-able wallpaper (anyone know what a “snosberry” is?), and tried to chew as much gum as Violet Beauregarde—I hid Hubba Bubba under my bed so I could pop a piece in before bed. I’m not ashamed to admit that I still watch the movie about once a year just to stay young at heart. I’m waiting for the film to lose its appeal, but so far, it hasn’t. I mean … there’s a chocolate freaking river! That’s why I was so psyched to see that Celebuzz tracked down the kids from the film. Aren’t you just dying to know where their Golden Tickets led them? Keep reading »

Anyone Wanna Join These Swingers In Bed?

Ami AngelowiczJanuary 12, 2010 //


I don’t know a whole lot about the wild world of swingers, but I’m thinking that Lyn and Linda from upstate South Carolina (is that a real geographical location?) aren’t getting too much action from their personal video ad. These good-looking swingers with fashionable feathered hair are looking for fun, friendly people willing to join them in bed. Gay, straight, bi, newcomers—they want anyone to join them. But they’re totally not desperate. And you can tell by their enthusiastic delivery that they’re just about as fun as it gets in the sack. Any takers? [BuzzFeed]

Keep reading »

Nerd Girl Porn: Hot Guys In Cars

Ami AngelowiczJanuary 12, 2010 //
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The Detroit Auto Show, taking place this week, is the time of year that all the celebs decide what models they’ll be rocking in 2010. While I confess that I don’t really give a fig about cars, I can’t resist a hot body behind the wheel of a hot chassis. After the jump, some hot guys in cars that rev your engines. Vroom.
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Is “21st Century Syndrome” A Real Medical Condition?

Ami AngelowiczJanuary 11, 2010 //

While some folks think it’s BS, the World Health Organization is officially recognizing a new stress disorder called “21st Century Syndrome” or Adrenal Fatigue. What are the symptoms, other than being alive in the 21st century? Fatigue, irritability, light-headedness, low libido, problems concentrating, digestion problems, excessive salt cravings, and increased susceptibility to coughs and colds. Sadly, this disorder is being called just another side effect of modern living. Womp womp. Keep reading »

Facebook Wages War On The Virtual Dr. Kevorkian

Ami AngelowiczJanuary 11, 2010 //

It’s officially gotten to that point in the lifespan of social networking where the promise has turned into a problem for some of us. If obsessive Facebook stalking, TMI Tweeting, and overall virtual insanity are truly affecting the quality of your real life, help is on the way in the form of a virtual suicide. A new site, Web Suicide Machine 2.0, which has already conducted over 900 painless online suicides, offers a Kevorkian-like end to your virtual existence. Created by a group of artists, designers, and programmers in the Netherlands, the site promises to permanently wipe out your Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, and Linked In accounts by disabling profile pics and passwords and setting you free from the psychological constraints of social networking. Gordan Savicic, the CEO—Chief Euthanasia Officer—of the organization said the idea “is to abandon your virtual life—so you can get your actual life back.”

Keep reading »

10 Highly Inappropriate Celebrity Relationships

Ami AngelowiczJanuary 8, 2010 //
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Let’s forget about Roman Polanski for a second and focus our condemnation on Morgan Freeman. The 72-year-old actor, who had been rumored to be having a 10-year-long affair with his 27-year-old step-granddaughter E’Dena Hines, is confirming that the two are still together and planning for a baby. Gasp! Vomit! Even though they are not blood relatives, Freeman was married to her grandmother, Jeanette Adair Bradshaw, and helped raise her. Even worse, he’s still going through a bitter divorce with his second wife, Myrna, who he allegedly left for Hines. Shouldn’t this be illegal somehow? [Celebitchy]

After the jump, some more highly inappropriate relationships that make us want to puke.

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Nevada OKs First “Prostidude” Ranch

Ami AngelowiczJanuary 8, 2010 //

The state of Nevada proved that they don’t discriminate. Officials have rubber stamped the Shady Lady Ranch, the first all-male bordello for female customers about 150 miles outside of Las Vegas. Yee-haw, cowgirls! But officials weren’t exactly kicking up their heels about the stud farm. Why? They’re concerned about the health risks for the young bucks … Keep reading »

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