Beware if you are planning to visit the Caribbean island of St. Kitts. There are a species of monkeys that will steal your fruity rum drink with the paper umbrella while you tan. BBC’s “Weird Nature” featured a segment about vervet monkeys, the alchies of the animal kingdom. And I’m kind of obsessed. But unlike us humans, the drunkest monkeys are the most well respected. I challenge you not to enjoy every moment of this video. Especially the part where the wasted monkeys roll around on the picnic table. You are welcome.
Now this is the kind of slow-mo instant replay I enjoy. Screw sports. I want to see awkward celeb moments on a loop. At “The Lorax” premiere, Zac Efron dropped a condom as he walked the red carpet. An unfortunate accident? Or was he trying to rub in the fact that he’s getting laid? No need to brag, Zac. No need to brag. But I do wonder who he was planning to use his condom with. Human or Lorax? [Gossip Cop]
My track record is as follows: three dates scored with men I’ve met at airports; one date obtained at the ATM; four phone numbers exchanged on the NYC subway; one boyfriend landed at the Apple Store. Also, there was the Trader Joe’s check out boy who showed up on my doorstep with a rose (I invited him over after he bagged my groceries), the spinning instructor whose class I sweated through every Saturday for a year before he asked me out. That was before I dated the dentist from my bootcamp class. And yeah, that guy I met at hot yoga.
The rest of my boyfriends or dates were discovered in more conventional social situations — at parties, events, or through friends. I’ve gone on four online dates in my life. All of which were COMPLETE flops. There was a guy who was obsessed with his cat, one who was in sex therapy, one wanted by the federal government, and one who stalked me. As an online dater, I am failure. I must not “present” well in a virtual setting and I certainly don’t know how to pick ‘em. But offline, I can’t deny I have a certain knack for meeting guys wherever I go. Why is this? I know women more attractive than me who don’t meet men. It’s not really about conventional attractiveness though. Some of my friends have suggested that it’s because of my hair. The wild, curly mane makes me approachable, they say. Maybe so. But I think there’s more to it. After the jump, a few simple tips to meet more men … offline. Keep reading »
Thank you, Genderbread Person for explaining the difference between gender identity, gender expression, sex and sexual orientation. Each of us are unique Genderbread Persons, with our own blends and delicate balances of gender and sexuality that make us individually delicious. That came out sounding much creepier than I’d intended … See a larger image here. [World Of Wonder]
The release of “Pee-Wee’s XXX Adventure: A Porn Parody,” means it’s officially time to throw a funeral for my innocence. Just when we were all starting to forget about Paul Reubens’ movie theater incident, Vivid Entertainment had to ruin it all. I mean, he had a Broadway show! He was a guest on “Top Chef”! Particularly scarring is the fact that “Pee-wee’s Big Adventure” was the movie I showed at my nine-year-old sleepover birthday party. The one where I cried myself to sleep because someone was being mean. Wait, I am describing every slumber party. Has the porn industry no respect for my childhood wounds? Excuse me while I gauge me eyes out. [Best Week Ever]
“This is the longest, most functional relationship I’ve ever been in, I don’t want to screw it up. [I use] a fool-proof birth-control system, [the pull-out method].”
– Adam Levine confirms he and girlfriend Anne Vyalitsyna’s preferred method of birth control on The Howard Stern Show. So glad to know that bit of TMI. I’m not going to be able to think of anything else when I watch “The Voice” now. If he really doesn’t want to screw things up with an accidental pregnancy (she is a Victoria’s Secret model, after all), they may want to consider using a more reliable form of birth control, like, you know, condoms or the Pill or the IUD? [ONTD]