Profile for Ami Angelowicz

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How To Spoil Your Cabbage Patch Kids Rotten: Courtesy Of TLC’s “My Crazy Obsession”

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TLC just took its bizarre reality programming to the next level with “My Crazy Obsession,” which premieres next Wednesday. Straight out of the gate, we’ll meet Pat and Joe Prosey who are obsessed with spoiling their Cabbage Patch Kids rotten. How does one spoil a doll you ask? Here’s how: They build elaborate amusement parks for them in their backyard, complete with swing sets, motorized trains and hot air balloons. In addition, they set up play dates with other Cabbage Patch Kids, whose parents are also “collectors.” These kids have come a long way from the humble patch they were born in, from the fear of being enslaved by Lavender McDade or eaten alive by Cabbage Jack. I’ll bet they really appreciate the life of privilege that their adoptive parents, the Proseys, have afforded them. I know I’ll appreciate watching their life. This show may in fact be the best thing that has ever happened to me. My sincere thanks, TLC. [Zap 2 It]

Be My Boyfriend: Melodica Man

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Dear BennyTheJukebox,

Thank you for learning to play rock anthems by Led Zeppelin, Gun N Roses, Deep Purple, David Bowie, The Rolling Stones, Van Morrison and more on your melodica and posting your medley on YouTube. I think you might be my nerdy, musical soul mate. Let’s make beautiful music together. I’ll sing, and you can back me up on melodica. Maybe you can teach me how to play keytar? We can start that band I’ve always wanted to. We’ll call it Epilady Epidemic. And we can audition for “The Voice.” What say you?

Yours,
Ami
[Neatorama]

13 Chest Hairstyles That Won’t Get You Laid

I guess sometimes men get bored and think it’s a good idea to style their chest hair. Guys, this is a really bad idea, especially if you ever want to get laid again. Click through to see some of the most ill-advised manscaping of all time. 

First Time For Everything: A Televised First Kiss

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The other night I went on a date. I was following my own advice about getting back to dating basics, and thought it would be a good idea to invite my date to a live taping of a game show that I was offered tickets to. Perfect. A date where we could just have some good, clean fun. Three minutes in the door and the woman checking us in, who I should mention had a raging herpes outbreak on her lip, asked: “Are you a couple?”  Keep reading »

Angelina Does The Double Leg

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And this is how you intentionally take a stance at the Oscars. Show off those leg slits, Angelina. Better yet, show us your birthing stance. [Porao Manero]

What To Do If You Have Your Period While Camping

I’ve never been camping with my period. Actually, I’ve never been camping. But if I ever do go camping AND happen to have my period, I will indeed fling my used tampons on my fellow campers to level the playing field. It would not be fair if I was the only camper lucky enough to get mounted by a wolf penis. [The Yahoo Answers]

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