Apparently, school dances have progressed from the days when the girls stood at one side of the gym and the boys stood on the other. Nope, today’s horny little teenagers are freaking and grinding and doing whatever they can at school dances to rub their privates together. How do I know about this problem? Well, I used to be a high school teacher, which meant I was also required to chaperone at least two school dances per year. I taught at an all-girls Catholic school, meaning that freaking was strictly forbidden. The worst part was that as a chaperone I was required to wear a T-shirt that said in big, black block lettering, “NO FREAKING ALLOWED,” and carry a flashlight to shine on teens getting down on the dance floor. This was extremely uncomfortable for me because: A) I’m actually not terribly anti-freaking as long as there is no nudity, harassment, or actual sex; B) I so didn’t want an image of my students getting jiggy on the dance floor burned into my memory; and C) since I looked so young at the time, in the dark most of the boys thought I was a teenage girl attending the dance stag. Once a young dude even grabbed me and started freaking with me when I shined the light on his gyrating pelvis. My female students just stood around chanting my name. Awkward and mortifying.
But it looks like other high schools are cracking down on bumping and grinding, too. And they’re getting pretty creative. Keep reading »
