Profile for Ami Angelowicz

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I Can Think Of So Many Wonderful Uses For The Speech Jammer

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Now wait just a minute. Someone must have ventured inside my brain and pulled the idea for the Speech Jammer right out of my secret fantasies. Let me understand this correctly: The Speech Jammer is a laser gun you can point at someone’s mouth when you want them to shut the hell up? A magic device that interrupts boring speeches, annoying conversations, ridiculous rants? Might the Speech Jammer be the answer to all the world’s problems? Imagine the endless possibilities. This is like Nobel Peace prize material. Where can I get one and how soon? One more question: Is there a similar device for irritating noises? Loud sneezes, jackhammering, high-pitched laughter? These must be eradicated as well. [Oddity Central]

This Week In Sex: The Appeal Of Dry Humping, Plus Ecstasy Makes Women More Likely To Have Boys

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  • One woman explains the appeal of dry humping. And we thank her. [College Candy]
  • An eighth-grade science teacher was placed on paid leave when administrators caught wind of her porn persona, Tiffany Six. Sigh, porno careers and teaching careers never mix well. [Nerve]
  • These are the eight sex moves men allegedly hate. Be forewarned: If you intend to do “the starfish” or “the red eye,” they will not be well received. [Your Tango]
  • A new study found that the drug ecstasy may increase a woman’s chance of having a boy and also cause mother and baby major damage. And they found pregnant women who wanted to participate in this study … where? [LA Weekly] Keep reading »

This Woman Wants Schtup The Statue Of Liberty

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Welcome to more adventures in objectum sexuality, the fetish where a person finds herself sexually attracted to an inanimate object. The latest object of desire is our very own Lady Liberty. Twenty-seven-year-old Brit, Amanda Whittaker has taken a shine to our Statue of Liberty. “She is my long-distance lover and I am blown away by how stunning she is,”  Amanda says of her woman. She first fell for “Libby” (her pet name for the statue), when she saw her picture online. Since then, she’s flown across the pond to visit Libby four times, caressing her bonze body and blowing her kisses.  Amanda considered marrying her, but thought it would be selfish since Libby has so many other admirers. Instead, she’s settled for a room full of replicas of her lover. Before Libby, Amanda had a passionate tryst with a drum set. “Other people might be shocked to think I can have romantic feelings for an object, but I am not the same as them.” I can’t say I understand Amanda’s complex feelings for Libby, but I don’t judge. You can’t help who you fall in love with. And you certainly can’t deny the sexiness of freedom. We wish these two life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness together. [The Sun]

The Ideal Woman Accidentally Looks Like Faith Hill

Angelina Jolie is out, Taylor Swift is in. Marie Claire Australia made one of those charming facial mashups, where they take all of the most coveted features of the moment and mold them into one celebrity Frankenstein. This heavenly creature features Taylor Swift’s hair, Natalie Portman’s nose, Scarlett Johansson’s lips, Halle Berry’s jaw, January Jones’ cheeks and Anne Hathaway’s eyes. All that work, and I must say, she comes out looking eerily similar to Faith Hill. Am I right? I wonder if Faith’s pissed that she didn’t get a mention. [Beek Week Ever]

“Ima Read” Doggie Style Is A Gift From The Internet Gods (NSFW)

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Sometimes the internet bestows us with gifts. Strange gifts that make us laugh so hard we cry. Sometimes we don’t even know what’s happening or why, just that it’s happening. It’s not for us to understand, just for us to appreciate. I present you with the doggie music video version of “Ima Read” by Zebra Katz (SNAKATAK Remix). To quote Julie: “This song needed dogs.”

You Need Bangs!

Real Housewives Of Disney
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Comediennes Giulia Rozzi and Brooke Van Poppelen know what you need to get a bearded boyfriend, score a recording contract and become the quirky girl: Bangs! For the low price of $19.99, you will be bangin’ and you’ll never have to wash the front of your hair again. In!

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