“['Toddlers & Tiaras is] very bizarre … Patsy and JonBenet didn’t approach it that way. We … they just did it for fun … I think about these things now and it makes me cringe. We were so naïve. I now believe with all my heart that it’s not a good idea to put your child on public display.”
– John Ramsey on his regrets. I’m not sure if I agree that participating in pageants had any correlative relationship to his daughter’s murder. But I can’t blame him for hating “Toddlers & Tiaras.” I mean, it certainly is bizarre. Talk of child beauty pageants aside, I feel awful for this man. His daughter was murdered. His business and reputation were destroyed. His wife died of ovarian cancer. He spent 12 years as a suspect in his own child’s murder before he was cleared of all wrongdoing. Some people get dealt a shitty ass hand. I hope the rest of his life is really uneventful. [Yahoo]
“[The first movie I remember seeing was] ‘The Goonies.’ I never identified with girls, and the cast was all boys. Girls were nervous about going into caves; they were scaredy-cats—and I wasn’t into that at all. I loved the idea of being with a crew and having an adventure. I was really interested in pits full of snakes … I [played with Barbies], but it was always, ‘Let’s play sex with Barbies!’ My Barbies were usually naked. Once, I took their heads off, cut their hair, drew on their short, spiky hair with some markers, then stuck the heads on Christmas lights. Every year, we’d string our tree with those Barbie heads. It looked demonic. My parents were so cool—they saw it as a form of self-expression.”
– Jessica Biel in W magazine. I mean, we all simulated sex acts with our Barbie dolls and gave them weird haircuts, right? The part where she made their heads into Christmas ornaments was a little dark. But she’s got nothing on our screwed up childhood games. We don’t judge at all. [What is going on in the photo? Is she touching herself by a pool? -- Editor] [Celebitchy]
After seven years single (give or take six months here and two months there), I’ve realized how much I’ve underestimated the concept of pacing. A major factor in compatibility is how quickly (or slowly) two people want their relationship to move, and whether or not that speed matches. In my experience, if both people are too slow, the connection fades away. If both are too fast, you’ve got a supernova situation. If one person is slow and the other fast, it creates a tortoise and hare “you don’t like me as much as I like you” or “we don’t want the same thing right now” discord. Just right, and you’re introducing him to your parents.
I don’t remember the last time the pace felt just right to me, which would explain why I haven’t introduced anyone to my parents in nearly a decade. Keep reading »
Soooo. I sat through two long ass hours of the most boring not controversial “Bachelor” finale ever. Really, the only part I wanted to see was “After the Final Rose.” So I had to watch. The only thing that kept me slogging through was Amelia’s company and that bottle of wine we were working on. We also played Bengo intermittently. They said “special” A LOT so we killed the bottle fairly quickly. I spent most of the two hours cringing, burying my face in my hands and muttering under my breath about feeling “deep shame.” This finale, in addition to being a snoozefest, was extremely embarrassing. The love letter Courtney wrote. Her lack of proper punctuation. Lindzi’s stress breakouts. Ben’s sister’s weird hair. And the capes! Good God! The capes! Which leads me to the most embarrassing moment … Lindzi’s dumping. Keep reading »
Bret Easton Ellis, author of American Psycho, was very busy this weekend … thinking of ideas for a possible sequel to the book. So what is Patrick Bateman up to nowadays? Ellis took to Twitter to share his darkly frantic brainstorm. For starters, Patrick wants to have a threesome with Rihanna and Chris Brown. Disturbed? It gets so much more twisted. Hint: The Kardashian sisters, Kris Humphries, Chris Martin, Lindsay Lohan, David Beckham, Gavin Rossdale, and Katy Perry’s trainer are all involved. And lots and lots of murder. Oh, and if you didn’t figure it out from the original, Patrick Bateman is gay. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. I’m frightened. Social networking and celebrity culture would only make Patrick more psychotic, it seems. If that’s even possible. Click through to see Ellis’ highly disturbing Patrick Batemen musings. [Buzzfeed]