This lovely letter allegedly written to Joan Crawford was found in Bette Davis’ desk drawer. Bette at her bitchy best, this is a shining example of how to stick it to a frenemy on her birthday. These two were bitter rivals for more than 30 years. Some say they fought over actor Franchot Tone, the man who became Joan’s second husband. But there are other rumors that Joan was in love with Bette and Bette didn’t return the sentiments. Or maybe it was just a case of egomaniacal jealousy. Whatever the real reason for the most famous frenemies of all time, these two made a sport of insulting each other. “Tell those caterpillars on your forehead that it’s time to turn into butterflies.” Damn, that’s cruel. And the dig about Joan’s daughter, Christina? Yikes. This must have been written post Mommie Dearest. I wonder if Joan ever received these birthday wishes? Or if she wrote back? I would loved to have seen that letter. [She Monster]
Things you don’t want to hear after you’ve been shot: “I’m sorry, I thought you were a bird.” This was Colorado man Derrill Rockwell’s excuse for shooting a 23-year-old woman in the head with .22-caliber rifle. He thought he was taking down a pesky, red-feathered bird who was harassing his cats. But it turns out it was just a woman with a red mohawk. An easy mistake to make? I guess it didn’t help that he was 90-feet away and she was passed out drunk. Even though the woman survived the head wound, she may be in trouble for the bag of meth found near her. How did I know meth would be involved in this story somehow? Eh, just had a hunch. Not that this makes it her fault for being mistaken for a bird. That blame lies squarely with her mohawk. As for Rockwell, he was slapped with five years probation (he was banned from owning a gun after an attempted burglary conviction in 1995) and a $10,000 fine. He also clearly needs a pair of binoculars if he plans to do any further bird watching. [Boing Boing]
I saw “Rock Of Ages” when it was a tiny Off Broadway show. And then I saw it (a few times) in its bigger Broadway incarnation. I can safely say it was one of the most thoroughly entertaining musicals of all time. And by gosh, now it’s a huge Hollywood movie starring Tom Cruise as aging rock star Stacee Jaxx and Alec Baldwin as kooky club owner Dennis Dupree. Oh, and Julianne Hough, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Russell Brand, Malin Ackerman, Paul Giamatti and Mary J. Blige grace the screen. So yeah, just a couple of stars in this flick. For those of you who haven’t seen the play as many times as I have, it’s about a couple of small town kids with big Hollywood dreams. The story is peppered with your favorite ’80s power ballads. I don’t want to give anything away, but get your Aqua Net out, put on your acid-wash jeans and prepare to throw your lighters in the air and sing along. I’m pretty sure it’s going to be event to remember. June 15, party people!
It’s been a busy couple of years for Michael Fassbender (and his penis). I’m not one to harbor a hardcore celebrity crush, but ever since Fassy took on the role of Carl Jung (with whom I’m obsessed) in “A Dangerous Method,” I was intrigued. And then I saw “Shame,” and I was blown away by his many gifts and talents. I’m talking about his chilling portrayal of Brandon, not his full-frontal nude scene. Although, he was riveting naked. Being that today is his 35th birthday, I felt totally justified in putting together a gratuitous slideshow of sexy pictures of him, along with a list of reasons that justify my crush. Starting with:
1. This is what he looks like wearing nothing but bed sheets.
Click on for 34 more reasons Fassy is a God.
No, I don’t mean facial hair. It wasn’t a typo. I mean Face Hair. These four dudes put their heads together to … make a face. I wonder if they plan to walk around in this position until their hair grows back. Maybe then they’ll do something dirtier like boobs, belly button and vagina. [Buzzfeed]
Johanna Quaas is 86 years old and still doing cartwheels. The German gymnast wowed at the 2012 Cottbus World Cup with this impressive floor routine. She also competed on parallel bars. OK, I feel lame. First of all, she looks amazing in her leotard. Second of all, SHE’S FREAKING 86 YEARS OLD. I’m going to work on my handstand this weekend. What are you doing? [Dlisted]