No, I’m ready to learn. Because I already know “How My Pussy Works.” I don’t need to listen to a song wherein Brian McKnight educates me about my vagina. I understand his impulse to go in a more erotic direction with his music … but NO. This is definitely not the right direction. Assuming that he is serious. I can’t tell. He can’t be, can he? [Buzzfeed]
TLC’s “My Strange Addiction” is everything I could have longed for in a show and more. I am like a kid in a candy store grappling with toilet paper consumers, rock eaters, compulsive nail growers, and even pee drinkers. OK, so the pee drinking episode was really hard to watch. But most of the others … absolutely compelling. So many odd obsessions, so little time. What are the chances they’ll start airing the show ’round the clock? Maybe they could feature Scarlett Johansson next season. Now that she’s off her strict “Avengers” diet, she’s going buck wild … with buffalo wings. “Oh my good [I am obsessed] with buffalo chicken wings, I am addicted to them … You will have to roll me down the red carpet next time you see me … I can’t stop eating them, I just can’t get enough.” That sounds like the makings of a great “My Strange Addiction” episode. I’m picturing ScarJo making covert excursions to sports bars and eating her wings secretly in the parking lot. Keep on clicking to see other celebs’ strange addictions. [Celebitchy]
If you haven’t already read the 2005 memoir The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls, pick it up or download it ASAP. It is seriously one of the most riveting books I’ve read. In case you don’t trust my taste, it spent over 250 weeks on the New York Times bestseller list, so there’s that. But great books don’t always transition seamlessly into great films. Does anyone remember the film version of “Running With Scissors”? No, because it was awful. Which is weird because the book was really compelling. Hearing that Jennifer Lawrence is in talks to star in the film version of “The Glass Castle” gives us hope for its greatness. Um, yes, please. She would be perfect to play Jeannette Walls. We’ll be staying tuned for casting announcements. [Just Jared]
I’m sure you read the title of this post and were confused. I was too. I knew that there was a chlamydia epidemic amongst the Australian koala population after hearing the story of Samantha who was killed by the STI a few years back. Samantha is not alone –stats say about 80 percent of the marsupials are infected. But the latest scare down under is the spreading of the infection to One Direction band members Liam Payne and Harry Styles. While on tour in Brisbane, the One Direction boys spent some time cuddling with three-year-old koala Kat. Although transmission from koala to humans is unlikely, a minority of the creatures have a strain of chlamydia that can be passed to other species. Apparently, no one mentioned this to them before they got intimate with Kat. “I’m genuinely scared. This is worrying. I’d have never picked the thing up if I’d known,” said Liam. You live and you learn. Never pick up a koala unless you know she’s clean. Better get tested boys. [The Sun UK]
Well, this is one way to honor Queen Elizabeth’s 60th anniversary on the throne. Vajazzling is bad, but Majazzling is worse. UK website LoveHoney.com is offering this limited edition “Majazzle” package to make sure our ladyparts are ready for the momentous occasion. Yes, “Majazzle” is the word that happens when vajazzle and her Majesty come together. I’m sure the Queen would be grateful if you put a crown on your vagina in her honor. Click on through to see some more of the worst things you can do to your vagina. [Huffington Post]
Dear Kenichi Ito (aka Monkey Man),
I really admire how you’ve been perfecting different movement styles based on the Patas monkey of Africa. For the record, I don’t think you look like a monkey. I’m sorry that you were teased as a child. I was too. It sucks. But I respect how you turned your pain into a positive by learning to adopt animal traits. I did that as well! You can ask my family about The Bird With The Broken Wing and The Disinterested Flamingo if you get to meet them. I can’t run as fast as you on all fours, I’ve never gone into the mountains for an animal training retreat, and thank God, I have never been mistaken for a wild boar and shot at, but I can anthropomorphize an animal like nobody’s business. I think we would get along really well. Maybe we could get together and you can teach me how to gallop on all fours.