There’s breaking news like Anderson Cooper coming out or ObamaCare being upheld by the Supreme Court, and then there’s breaking news that is way less important, but equally as impactful. For example, the revelation that there is a solution for the excessively gassy individuals of this great nation. Flat-D disposable fart deodorizers are the product that people with digestive disorders have been dreaming of. There is no cure for gas, but this product is a simple solution which will allow everyone to fart with confidence. Just place the pad inside your underwear and let your gaseous emissions activate the carbon in the Flat-D pad, which absorbs and masks fart odor. For additional flatulence support at work, you can purchase Flat-D chair pad. I know some people whose lives will be changed by the Flat-D, although I’m not mentioning any names. [Laughing Squid]
Don’t fool yourself, if someone asks you to make a speech at their wedding, it’s important … that you don’t bomb. I know this from experience as I had to make a speech at my brother’s rehearsal dinner this past year. Luckily, it went off with out a hitch. But we’ve all been to those weddings where someone bungled the speech. You do not want to be that person. I was at one wedding where the maid of honor, drunk off bubbly, ran through a list of the most embarrassing guys the bride had dated. At another, a groomsmen had nothing planned and rambled on and on for at least 30 minutes. Or at least it seemed that way. Not okay! Successful wedding speeches, while different, all have certain elements in common. And even though we all have varying degrees of comfort with public speaking, there are some tricks that will make your speech awesome no matter what. After the jump, some tips for making yours a hit.
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“The internet has really changed the way people date. I just went to an OKCupid wedding. One of my really good friends met her fiancé on an OKCupid-style website. OKCupid’s really popular–all my girlfriends have joined. I love those sites. I go on and I pick the guys for my friends. I think it’s great … It’s online shopping! We all get together with our laptops and have a glass of wine. Then we message the guy … If I didn’t do what I do, I would do Internet dating instead of going out to bars. In two seconds I would. It makes so much more sense … No, [I don't date online]. Because, ultimately, what’s going to happen? I’ve never dated. I can say this honestly: I don’t know what it’s like to date. But also, how am I going to date? I’m not in one state long enough.”
–Mila Kunis talks about dating in Glamour. As complicated as dating is for a Jane Doe like me, I image it would be eons more complicated for a star like Mila Kunis. But is she really meeting guys in bars? I doubt it. Just please let the rumors about her and Ashton Kutcher be completely false. She does say that 99 percent of what we read in the ‘bloids in bulls**t and calls it “bullying.” I am taking that to mean that she’s not doing anything with Ashton. Phew. [Glamour]