- Beyonce is naked in a hammock and lovely as usual. Here’s her latest batch of Tumblr photos to be jealz of. Yes, Blue Ivy is in them. [Socialite Life]
- Which witch is your girlfriend? Find out if she’s more of a Glinda, a Bellatrix, or a Sabrina. [Modern Man]
- This gay couple figured out a way to get married in Oklahoma even though it’s illegal. Good work. [Newser]
- Watch this video of 100 men responding to the question: Why are vaginas important to you? Loaded question. [Hello Beautiful]
- Before she was dating John Mayer, Katy Perry says she had a major crush on him. I find that so hard to believe. [Celebuzz] Keep reading »
Profile for Ami Angelowicz
MSNBC tried, but failed miserably to report the engagement of Kim Kardashian and Kanye West. The “Kimye Engaged” caption accidentally (or on purpose?) flickered on the chyron over some footage of a man falling onto the NYC subway tracks. So macabre, but strangely, so indicative of how we feel about the whole thing. [Huffington Post]
Because most states don’t have any laws about disclosing a death occurrence on a property — whether it was a murder, suicide, accident, illness or natural death — there’s nowhere for buyers or renters to go to ensure that their dream apartment doesn’t sit on top of a cemetery or something nice like that. Thanks to a new website, DiedInHouse.com, which gives a full report of all the deceased spirits who may be lurking on your property, never again will a person unknowingly move into a haunted house I mean, if you’re into living in the house where John Wayne Gacy, Jr. hid bodies in a crawl space…enjoy! The rest of us would rather not.
All you have to do is enter your address and for a small fee ($11.99 to be exact), the website will inform of all the people who died on your property and how it happened. Considering how difficult it is to find an apartment in NYC, I am going to abide by the ignorance is bliss policy. I’m too scared to know what entities may be hanging out in my living room. [Gothamist]
[Photo from Shutterstock]
Pauly D will have to rearrange his GTL schedule to include diaper duty. That’s right, the former “Jersey Shore” cast member has a baby girl. According to TMZ, the mother of Pauly’s 3-month-old guidette is a 26-year-old Jersey native who Pauly D knocked up after a DJing gig in Las Vegas. Aww, so romantic. Although the mom has filed papers to establish legal paternity, Pauly D does not deny that he is the is baby daddy.”I’m proud I’m a father. I am excited to embark on this new part of my life,” he said. I’m hoping that new part of his life includes styling his baby girl’s hair to match his. [TMZ]
You may recall the skeevy dudes of YouTube channel Simple Pickup who managed to persuade more than 100 women to be motorboated to raise funds for breast cancer research. Well, they ended up donating more than $2,000 burying their faces in tits, all of which was flat-out rejected by the Breast Cancer Research Foundation. In an email to the founders of Simple Pickup, the BCRF thanked the bros for their valiant efforts, but insisted on refunding their donation “out of respect for the sensitivities of the community we serve.” The bros of Simple Pickup think that the BCRF were totally out of line in this case and are outraged by the “small minority of haters” who found their sexual harassment for a cause offensive. Small minority? Heh. Let’s play our teeny tiny violin for them.
Here’s how we can help: the boys need suggestions for what to do with the money that breast cancer research lost. I’ll start! Donate it to a shelter for abused women. Your turn. [Gawker]
Former adult film star Jenna Jameson appeared on “Good Day New York” to promote her new, erotic novel Sugar and OH SUGAR, it was uncomfortable. She appeared to be under the influence of something — slurring her words and talking about how good she is at being monogamous (even while filming a gang bang?). It was so bad that producers cut her segment short because they were concerned about her mental state. Contrary to what Jameson says, everything does not appear to be going well. Let’s hope she gets the help she needs.[WOW]
You might remember the woman who found herself with a penis-shaped cake pan and attempted to find creative ways to use it. That was satire. This birthing cake is not. The Pinterest user who made this cake — featuring a strawberry vagina giving birth to doll head — and posted it with the caption: “The Baby shower vagina cake I made for my best friend! So funny yet so disturbing♥♥”
And she’s not the only who’s minus a best friend after showing up at her baby shower with a bloody vagina. There are vaginal funeral cakes and crowning uterus desserts all over the internet. This leads me to believe that birthing cakes are a thing now. I’ll begrudgingly participate in the poop in the diaper game, but I flat-out refuse to eat a slice of labia/uterus /fetus layer cake at your baby shower, even if it’s made out of chocolate sprinkles and pink buttercream. Sorry, it’s just going to work for me. [Mommyish]
Freudian psychoanalytic theory states that the opposite of the human death drive is the sexual instinct. I’m racking my brain and that’s the the only possible explanation for having a naked woman drape herself on a coffin. Polish casket maker Lindner, who put together the erotic calendar for 2014, hopes to make death sexier to consumers. “For this calendar we came back to nature, which we express with perfect harmony between Lindner coffins and natural wood, blue sea, red flowers, green fields and beauty of the female body,” said a spokesman for the company.
Yeah, Freud probably would have been way into this by this sexy coffin calendar, but the Polish Catholic Church is NOT. And neither am I. It’s causing me existential unease. [Daily Star UK]
This year, why not ditch the sexy ninja costume and go topless? Not naked, silly — you might get arrested. I mean, get creative and transform your boobs into Halloween buppets. Buppeteer and Boobsmith Heidi Leigh is the master of making tits into people … and other things. Like, scary clowns. Truly, she has a gift. Click through to see some of the breast Halloween costume ideas ever, courtesy of Heidi’s website, Tits Thinks It’s People. Warning: you might see some nipple in the process. [TitThinksItsPeople]
No optical illusion here. These models are really wearing nothing but milk. Photographer Jaroslav Wieczorkiewicz, who specializes in working with liquids, created this Milky Pin-Ups photo series by pouring pint after pint of milk on each model and snapping away like crazy. Each photo contains about 200 frames, and many, many gallons of dairy, to create these fabulous dresses. [Daily Mail UK]