Let me start this post off by saying that I think Reese Witherspoon is gorgeous, I am really into the retro-inspired look of this Vogue shoot and am psyched to see her movie — which inspired the look — “Water For Elephants.” It looks romantic and I am a cheeseball. However, I am very thrown off by her lips in this cover image. The way they’re strangely upturned at the corners, it’s like she’s trying to hold back a smile. Like she has a secret. A naughty, shameful secret. Like maybe she just farted in her very expensive couture gown and she’s hoping Anna Wintour doesn’t smell it and open a can of ice cold whip ass on her. Yep, that’s gotta be it. It’s all over her face. [Vogue's Tumblr] Keep reading »
Ever wonder what would happen if Britney Spears took Adele to Da Club for a dance off? I have a theory. Britney would start dancing, natch, and Adele, in her proper English accent, would be, like, “Bitch, I ain’t no dancer, I’m a singer. I’m turning this into a sing off!” And then while Britney gyrated and sweated to the hot beats, Adele would sing her ass off, and the whole thing would look and sound something like this mash-up of Adele’s “Rolling In The Deep” and Britney’s “Till The World Ends.” I thought it was just in my fantasies, but apparently not. Thank you, Jarod Ripley, for making my pop music dreams come true. Keep reading »
My standard response to reading the vast majority of sex advice printed in Cosmopolitan: “Oh, come ON!” I don’t think I could come up with more ridiculous sex advice if I … oh hell, I’ll give it a shot. In this quiz, each slide contains a piece of advice that either appeared in the pages of Cosmo or was pulled from the ass of a Frisky staff member. Can you tell the REAL Cosmo advice from the sex tips we just made up? (Answers revealed on the slide that follows and so on…) Tell us how you did on my little quiz and then feel free to share your own ridiculous and potentially dangerous FAKE Cosmo advice in the comments.
“Here’s the good news — my goddesses have already f**king approved [Mila Kunis]. She’s pre-approved! I would have great tolerance for many missing items provided it involves Mila f**king Kunis: If Mila Kunis is stealing your s**t , trust me, you’re still f**king winning, you’re still winning at that moment … I’m going to go on her Facebook page and discover her likes. I’m going to buy them all and then she can come steal them. A super f**king hot thief named Mila Kunis. Mila, please, we we have a warehouse full of your favorite s**t to steal.”
– Charlie Sheen announced who he’d like to be third goddess to join his harem and the lucky lady is “Black Swan” actress Mila (f**king) Kunis. An unexpectedly talented and classy choice, I must say. I’m sure Mila is so flattered. I’ll bet you anything, right now, she’s packing her bags — but leaving behind her dignity — and calling a cab to take her right on over to the Sober Valley Lodge. Yep. Charlie should probably expect the doorbell to ring in 30 minutes, give or take, depending on LA traffic. (This is the “bitch, please” look I imagine Mila will give upon hearing this news, BTW.) [Huffington Post] Keep reading »
Let’s cut to the chase — you’re welcome. This here is a GIF made from the just-released trailer for Ryan Gosling‘s next film, “Crazy Stupid Love,” also starring Steve Carell, Julianne Moore, Emma Stone, and Marisa Tomei. Gosling plays a hunky ladies’ man (duh) who helps a nerdy man (Carell) — recently split from his wife (Moore) — get his mojo back. But, of course, despite being gloriously good-looking and suave, his own tricks aren’t working on the one woman (Stone) he wants. And at some point he gets naked and, no, I am not bothered in the slightest. Check out the trailer after the jump! Oh, and Buzzfeed has more amazing Gosling GIFs for your spank bank. Keep reading »
When it comes to drinking, we’re classy broads. That’s why we’d be more than psyched to sip a glass of Malbec out of Oenophilia Porto’s chic sippy wine goblets. The little feet make them harder to tip over and the straw looks like a tail! Sure, when drunk we may mistake our glass of vino for a headless rodent or a sperm, but at least we won’t be staining our teeth or smudging our lipstick in the process.