Profile for Amelia McDonell-Parry

Shiantology? We Propose Some Other Celebrity Religions.

And on the seventh day, they created Shiantology. That’s right, a group of fans has founded a religion based on Shia LaBeouf. Their mission statement says:

“Characterized by a belief in the power of Shia’s spirit to clear itself of past painful experiences (in particular, hand smashing, car crashes, and drunken outbursts in Walgreens) through self-knowledge, spiritual fulfillment and copious amounts of Arizona Ice Tea. Shiantology places an emphasis upon Shia’s immortal spirit, Shiacarnation, an extrascientific method of pshiachotherapy (Shianetics), and, MOST IMPORTANTLY, daily SHIA WALKING POSTS.”

And if that weren’t amazing enough, check out their Shiart collection of Shia’s mug in place of religious icons. [Shiantology]

Amazing. This has inspired us to come up with some new celebrity-based religions. Keep reading »

“The Real World” Hits A New Low

Last night, I found myself watching “The Real World: Cancun,” which has failed to entertain ever since I realized it only made me feel sad about having missed the bisexuality boat. (Also, do you need to have a weird name, like Bronne or Jonna, to get cast on this show now?) So, you know how every season since Miami, the cast has had to do some sort of “job”? In the past, they’ve worked for a radio station, run a spray tanning salon, worked for Outward Bound, and were employed by South by Southwest. Aside from the spray tanning nonsense, they’ve all been pretty cool gigs, especially when you consider the career potential and mental aptitude of most of the cast members. This season, however, the job actually matches the job skills, but not in a, uh, positive way. Keep reading »

William Shatner Performs Sarah Palin’s Tweets, They Turn To Poetry

Fingers crossed, will obsession lead to romance betweenWilliam Shatner and Sarah Palin? On Monday night, Shatner did a spoken word performance as only the master of sexy slow talk can do, and last night on Conan O’Brien, he performed some of Palin’s tweets proving he needed no more than 140 words to create a masterpiece. [E!Online] Keep reading »

William Shatner Performs Sarah Palin’s Tweets, They Turn To Poetry

Fingers crossed, will obsession lead to romance betweenWilliam Shatner and Sarah Palin? On Monday night, Shatner did a spoken word performance as only the master of sexy slow talk can do, and last night on Conan O’Brien, he performed some of Palin’s tweets proving he needed no more than 140 words to create a masterpiece. [E!Online] Keep reading »

Newsweek Spreads The Polyamorous Love

I think there is a polyamorous trio living in my apartment building. A man and a woman live together, with their dog, two floors above me; on my floor there is a second man, who lives with his dog. I think the three of them are together because we walk our dogs at the same time, and the three of them are always together. Plus, on the weekends I often see all of them leave in a car together, which makes me think they’re on their way to their house upstate or something. Besides, the two guys really set my gaydar off, but one of the men is definitely married to the woman. I assume they don’t all live together because the apartments in my building are, obviously (as this is NYC), on the small side and besides, maybe Man #2 wants more private time. Keep reading »

Jennifer Aniston Is A Puma

Jennifer Aniston will star in the upcoming film “Pumas,” directed by Wayne McClammy (yes, that is his name and it’s already funnier than this movie could ever be), about two thirtysomething women who make a habit of romancing younger men and “take a French skiing vacation that challenges their romantic expectations.” “Pumas,” for those not in the (lame-slang-term) know, are similar to “cougars” only younger by about a decade. Coincidentally, you may remember that Courteney Cox Arquette, Aniston’s bestie, is working on a TV show called “Cougar Town.” We’ve heard rumors that there’s been a rift between the pair, so could this be Jen’s way of stickin’ it to Court and being, like, “Nanana, I’m younger“? Whatevs, all I know is that both of these projects are going to be tragic. [Variety]
Keep reading »

Would You Buy Your Pup A Sex Doll?

We’re written about dog sex toys before and didn’t think we’d ever have the opportunity to write about them again, but, well, SURPRISE! The thing about this particular doggy sex doll, made by Brazilian pet toy company Petsmiling, is that it’s, uh, anatomically correct. The doll is described by the company as “a female canine manufactured in soft rubber with a silicone vagina and an easy to clean reservoir.” Two thoughts. 1) How sexist! Where is the boy version? 2) Not even the most insane pet lover like myself would be cool with cleaning out that “reservoir.” They should really make one that is dishwasher safe, amiright?! [Paw Prints Magazine via BuzzFeed] Keep reading »

Quick Pic: This Better Not Mean What I Think It Means!

I was so hoping they were going to have a boy! [Los Angeles, 7/29/09]
Keep reading »

Have A Baby Using Brad Pitt’s Sperm (Sorta)!

Well, I can breathe a sigh of relief. If I still don’t have a man when my baby-making clock starts ticking down, I can get the sperm donor of my celeb-worshiping dreams. A sperm bank in Los Angeles — where else? — has launched a new feature where you can search for potential spooge depositors based on what celebrity they resemble. And lucky for us single Frisky gals, there are matches for each of our celebrity crushes! Catherine can get herself a lil’ mini faux Adam Brody, Simcha can have her own bundle of James Franco-esque joy, and there’s a wee little Ryan Gosling pseudo spawn out there just for me! The only problem is that you can’t actually confirm that your sperm donor really looks like the celebrity they say they do, at least not in the initial search results. But I guess you’ll know for sure when you pop out James Galdolfini’s mini-me instead of a baby that resembles Mark Wahlberg. [California Cryobank via DListed] Keep reading »

Jillian Harris Penning A Book About Wieners

Further proof that the book publishing industry will give everyone a book deal but people who actually deserve it … Jillian Harris, the most recent “Bachelorette,” will be writing a dating book based on hot dog toppings. You see, Jillian has this little theory that you can tell a lot about a guy based on what he puts on his hot dog. “It’s just sort of a girls guide to how to dissect a guy and how to simply ask what his hot dog topping is and then you decide whether he’s a keeper or not,” Harris told E! Online. “It’ll be short stories about different guys I’ve dated and what you can expect with a sauerkraut guy or a ketchup guy…just something fun.” Yes. Fun. So. Fun. I’m going to go stab my self with a Oscar Meyer now, thanks. [E! Online] Keep reading »

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