Before it had a name, I was obsessed with hoarding. I remember seeing an episode of “The Oprah Show” in the early 2000s where a woman allowed the show’s cameras into her home to reveal the unfathomable clutter inside. There was so much stuff that her family could barely find their way through the labyrinth from the kitchen to the living room. There were piles of dirty dishes that must have been months or even years old. Cat feces graced every available surface. The woman was a nurse or a teacher I think. How could anyone live like that? I just couldn’t understand how someone could let so much crap accumulate and do nothing about it. It made me, well, almost angry, especially because of how it affected her family. Keep reading »
A few weeks ago, we received the worst press release ever. Fleshlight, the purveyor of fine synthetic vagina-like products for men, sent us a PR pitch about getting dad “the best gift a father could ask for.” We think they were kidding. But we still needed to scrub our brains with bleach, then spray them with Lysol and Swiffer their tiny crevices.
Gather ’round, children, and let’s recap which gifts are totally inappropriate (or just plain weird) to give dad this Father’s Day. Keep reading »
“Here’s a little movie-magic fun fact for you. I did all my research by going on ChatRoulette, that website where guys masturbate for strangers. My moves in [the masturbation scene in] “Hall Pass” are an amalgamation of, I don’t know, maybe 20,000 different dudes. I took the facial expressions from SexHog22; I took the hand motions from GrizzlyBearDong. Those guys really know what they’re doing.”
–Jason Sudeikis tells Playboy where he learned his magic masturbation moves as seen in the movie “Hall Pass.” No wonder he lands such hot ladies — with tips from dudes like SexHog22, who wouldn’t? It’s nice to see how the internet is inspiring actors to hone their craft. [Playboy] Keep reading »
Telling someone to “eat a s**t sandwich” is no longer an insult reserved for your worst enemies. It’s something you can literally do. Japanese scientist Mitsuyuki Ikeda has made a scatological breakthrough with his alternative meat product containing a protein extracted from human poop. It’s more delicately referred to as “sewage mud.” Turd burgers, while still way more expensive than regular meat, are incredibly high in protein, low in calories and fat, and eco-friendly. Yeah, that still doesn’t put me remotely in the universe of wanting to eat one. Or eat anything for the rest of the day for that matter. Thanks, science! [In Habitat] Keep reading »
Before you even ask, yes, we are dead serious. Occasionally a product comes along that is so ingenious, so practical, so convenient, and so incredibly life-altering that we are able to put aside our shallow desire to look cool and stylish in public. The Backpack Umbrella is one such product. Imagine the rainy day possibilities! You could walk your dog or carry groceries or play with a yo-yo or talk on the phone, all while remaining dry and having one hand free to flip-off judgmental onlookers … who are busy laughing at your dorky Backpack Umbrella.
With his caustic personality and kajillions of dollars, Larry David
is not someone I would like to have as an enemy — so Bentley Williams
had better watch out! Both Larry and “Bachelorette” Ashley Herbert
were guests on “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno” last night and Larry couldn’t stop himself from interjecting during Ashley’s interview. Ashley, of course, had her heart broken by Bentley, who pretended to be interested in her
while also trash-talking her on camera. Larry wasn’t aware of the details of Bentley’s douchebaggery, but no matter: “I’m gonna kill that mofo,” he announced. Get in line, Larry. [via PopEater
] Keep reading »