Profile for Amelia McDonell-Parry

Jennifer Aniston Sucks On A Lollipop, Must Be Pregnant

Well, it’s official. The Jennifer Aniston Womb Watch has begun. Jen and her boyfriend, Justin Theroux, who never met a vintage punk rock T-shirt he didn’t like, were spotted going to the doctor this week. When they left, Jen was sucking on a lollipop. Clearly, she must be with child. Why? According to x17Online.com, “It’s common practice in gynecology offices to give candy to a woman having blood work early in her first trimester so when a nurse draws blood, the patient’s blood sugar level is high enough that she doesn’t pass out.” Mind you, it’s not actually confirmed that she went to see a gyno. She could have been at the podiatrist and stopped to buy a sucker at the gift shop. Ugh. Anyway, one thing I did learn — the next time I want to trick a dude into wondering if I’m pregnant, I’m going to dramatically pull out a Blow Pop every time I see him. Bwahahaha! [Huffington Post] Keep reading »

Soapbox: Assorted Thoughts On That Gizmodo/OKCupid/Magic The Gathering Dating Essay

Even if you’re not a tech geek or a self-identified nerd, it’s highly possible that you’ve heard about an essay that ran on the blog Gizmodo on Monday (it’s received almost 800K hits as of this writing). In the piece, writer Alyssa Bereznak described how her first attempt at online dating resulted in her going out with a guy who, at first, seemed “normal,” until he revealed that he not only played that admittedly geeky card game Magic the Gathering, but was, in fact, the world champion. In the story, Bereznak also reveals his full name, generally a big time no-no when it comes to writing about personal experiences on the internet. (Although it becomes clear that she almost doesn’t have to give his name, as Jon Finkel — that’s his name — is a legend among the Magic community because of his “world champion” status.) Keep reading »

Quiz: Real Or Fake Super Sexy Sensual Erotic Courtney Stodden Tweet?

Courtney Stodden
I like to think that my Twitter followers are generally amused or enlightened by the 140 characters missives I fire of 5-20 times a day, depending on how funny/lonely I’m feeling. But upon reading the Twitter feed of Courtney Stodden, the now 17-year-old wife (yesterday was her birthday!) of 51-year-old “actor” Doug Hutchison, it is clear I need to step up my game. My tweets are nowhere near as erotic and sensuous, nor filled with as many teasingly placed winky emoticons. For example, just yesterday, Courtney tweeted:

While I lie beneath this sizzling-sun, the popsicle that I am sweetly sucking on begins to melt & drips irresistibly all over my moist body!

See what I mean? Amazing. To rejuvenate my own purple prose, I decided to practice by creating this highly entertaining and, to use another of Courtney’s favorite 50 cent SAT words, invigorating quiz. As you click through this slideshow, you’ll be presented with tweets that were either written by Courtney herself, or by me trying to channel my inner Courtney. Can you tell the difference? The answer for each will be revealed on the slide that follows. Let me know how you did — and write your own Courtney-inspired tweets — in the comments!

Cuddle Comfortably With The Modular Love Mattress

Last night, I was chatting on the phone with a handsome and extremely tall (ahem, 6’7, and it’s niceeee) fella — let’s call him “The Tree” — I’m exploring a romantic connection with (this is my complicated way of saying “I haz a big ol’ crush on a giant and he has a crush on me too!”) when he mentioned something about not usually being a big cuddler. I, on the other hand, love nothing more than to have my limbs intertwined with another’s, so I was perplexed. “But why?” I asked. Keep reading »

First Look: “The Hunger Games” Teaser Trailer


Let the games begin! I am a huge fan of The Hunger Games, Suzanne Collins young adult book series, so imagine my excitement at finally getting a sneak peek at the first film during last night’s VMAs. Jennifer Lawrence, who plays Katniss Everdeen in the film, introduced the clip, my palms started to sweat, and then … this was it? I know they’re slowing starting to build anticipation, but this “teaser” was barely a tickle. Meh. [Huffington Post] Keep reading »

Beyonce Announces She’s Pregnant At The MTV VMAs!


Announcing you’re pregnant on the cover of People? That’s for amateurs. If you’re Beyonce, you tell the world your womb is implanted with Jay-Z’s seed by unbuttoning your sequined jacket after performing “Love on Top,” at the MTV VMAs, rubbing your belly, and dramatically telling the crowd, “I want you to feel the love that’s growing inside me.” Just a little while before, Beyonce walked the red carpet in a voluminous caftan and reportedly told a reporter that she was expecting. Her rep confirmed the news, while husband Jay-Z looked positively gleeful as he cheered on her performance. I love these two and am psyched they’re makin’ babies together. Mazel tov! [Huffington Post] Keep reading »

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