Profile for Amelia McDonell-Parry

The Future Is Here: Doctors Allow Us To Telepathically Control Electronics, Get Skinny Sans Effort

It often seems like the future is never coming. I mean where are our hover boards and why haven’t Dippin’ Dots caught on yet? But scientists are coming up with some super-futuristic solutions that will be improving our lives way sooner than you’d think. Within the next decade, we could all be skinny, telepathic, and have the ability to fly! OK, so I lied about the last one, but who needs to fly when we’ll be able to turn on the TV with our brains and lose weight from the comfort of our own couches? Keep reading »

Nick Lachey, Vanessa Minnillo, And Other Stars Who Sneak Around To Avoid The Paps

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It looks like Nick Lachey and Vanessa Minnillo may be back together after breaking up in June. The two have been spotted several times in the past week sneaking around, close-talking, holding hands, and making out. A witness said, “You could tell they were together. It was more in how serious they looked at each other that told you that they were more than just friends.” Wouldn’t it be funny if they never actually broke up at all and this was just a sham to get the tabloids, aka celebrity-relationship kryptonite, off their backs? [Ace Showbiz]

Though we’re totally sensitive to the plight of couples who have to keep it together under the glare of flashbulbs, they have to accept that their love lives must be carefully orchestrated for our maximum entertainment. So we’re outing the other couples who snuck around post break-up to catch a paparazzi breather. Cads.

Man Farts During Surgery And Sets His Junk On Fire

In Denmark, a 30-year-old man was having a mole on his buttocks removed with an electrical knife when he farted during surgery. This ignited a spark, which caught onto his surgical spirit-soaked genitals and burned the poor guy! He said, “When I woke up, my penis and scrotum were burning like hell. Besides the pain, I can’t have sex with my wife.” He’s now suing the hospital for what they call an “unfortunate accident.” Farting in my sleep is one of my biggest plausible nightmares, but of all the scenarios that can take place post-flatulence, this one never even occurred to me. [BuzzFeed]
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Trailer Park: “All About Steve,” “Extract,” “Amreeka”

It’s Labor Day weekend! Hallelujah! Time to wear all your white clothing simultaneously, light up the barbecue, and enjoy the fruits of your labor. And because it’s a three-day weekend, you have a whole extra day to go to the movies! It may be a good opportunity to acknowledge “Amreeka” or “Extract” some fun out of your life. But it’s not necessarily “All About Steve,” cause, as far as I’m concerned, that guy’s lame. OK, I’ll stop. Keep reading »

What If You Had To Ask 4 Million People For Permission To Get Married?

This ad in support of marriage equality is one of the most subtle and effective messages I’ve seen. Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s possible for bigots to see the logic. [BuzzFeed] Keep reading »

Young French Women Are Disappearing As Their Families Force Them Into Marriages

Most summer vacations for teenage girls involve getting a job at the local Dairy Queen or tempting skin cancer at the beach. But in France, hundreds of girls disappear each summer when they are sent abroad and forced into marriages with men they’ve never met. Most of the victims are Muslim and of Asian, African, or Middle Eastern descent, so the government has generally considered it a cultural or religious issue. But since other European countries like England have governmental units that track down women who are forced into marriages in their countries of origin, we’re happy that France is just starting to keep up with the times. The French school system is working to set up an alert system for these girls who never return to school in the fall and last year they published a guide to help officials suss out forced marriages. The government is even making efforts to protect girls who want to annul their marriages. [Reuters] Keep reading »

How Can I Tell If I’m Really In Love?

The ’80s were so weird. Check out this awesomely hilarious opening sequence for a PSA intended to spread awareness about sexual activity called … wait for it … “How Can I Tell If I’m Really In Love?” It stars, among some randoms, Justine Bateman (in a fierce plaid jacket, natch), brother Jason, and Ted Danson. Keep reading »

Lourdes Ciccone Is “Like A Virgin”

Madonna‘s teen daughter Lourdes supposedly appears in the second version of the video for “Celebration” dressed as her mum circa the “Like A Virgin” days. But apparently this is not the first time Madge’s mini-me has taken part in the infamous song. During Madonna’s oh-so scandalous performance of the hit at the 2003 MTV Video Music Awards — you know, the one where she frenched Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera? — a then six-year-old Lourdes played a flower girl. Cuteness or kind of weird? [Daily Mail] Keep reading »

Jon & Kate Get The Porn Spoof Treatment

It was bound to happen. The tabloid news story which has littered the covers of our favorite celeb weekly glossies is now getting even smuttier. “Jon & Kate F**k Eight” will be released by porn company Devil’s Film on Sept. 14 and, strangely enough, it will put a somewhat positive spin on the bitter divorce battle between Jon and Kate Gosselin. “In our movie they go to marriage counseling and come out with the suggestion that maybe they should go out there and bang other people,” explains Devil’s Film sales manager Steve Volpini. “So they do and then it turns out that after they sow their wild oats that they are meant to be together.” How romantic! The movie stars Riley Evans as Kate, Frankie Young as Jon, and Amy Starz, Evie Delatosso, Kristy West, Ashton Pierce, Ralph Long, Jenner, and Alex Gonz in various, er, supporting roles. Keep reading »

Quote Of The Day: Jerry O’Connell Is Learning Everything He Can About Teen Girls

“I’m going to read up on Judy Blume, rent some Molly Ringwald films, and watch ‘Twilight.’

Jerry O’Connell on how he’s preparing for the day his twin girls, Dolly and Charlie, are teenagers Keep reading »

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