When it comes to dating, we all do silly things to impress the object of our affection. Women may spritz and slather a variety of chemical substances on their bodies, feign an interest in or knowledge of some subject, perhaps having to do with a ball, or make a big show of nailing that particularly tight parallel parking spot. I’ve been known to go on and on about that one time I did really, really well in fantasy football. But women are not alone in our somewhat misguided attempts to impress the opposite sex. Men are just as likely — if not more so, as there’s possibly more pressure on men to impress — of saying some kind of ridiculous things to win over a date. Here are a few that really don’t work.
Don’t worry, I’ll be back to talking about penises and vaginas next week. For more Funny Girl Sex Guide, follow us on YouTube!
Drugs, drugs and more drugs, plus some drool. Actually, that might be simplifying the concept of The Flaming Lips’ latest video, which features Miley Cyrus (apparently she’s BFFs with Wayne Coyne and he got the same tattoo tribute to her dead dog?) and Moby. Wayne told Rolling Stone that the track is called “Blonde SuperFreak Steals the Magic Brain” (obvs) and explains the video thusly:
“The video story is something like this: Moby is an evil, power-hungry cult leader. He wants the world’s most valuable (according to our story) psychedelic supernatural possession… John F. Kennedy’s brain….the brain contains the original formula for the drug LSD!!!
Miley Cyrus has the magic brain!!! And Moby enlists a nympho Manson girl-type blonde superfreak to go steel the brain from Cyrus.
Keep reading »
Neil Young is on my list of sacred musical artists, but I have to hand it to Jimmy Fallon — his impersonation is damn near flawless. Last night on “The Tonight Show,” Jimmy donned a ratty bobbed wig and brought out special guests Crosby, Stills & Nash for a reunion of sorts, performing, of all things, Iggy Azalea’s “Fancy.” Why? Because WHY NOT. This is the second time Jimmy has paid tribute to Neil — in 2012, Bruce Springsteen joined him in full ’70s-era Boss regalia on “Late Night” and the two performed Willow Smith’s “Whip My Hair.” Check that out over at Idolator!
Guys, I live for sandal season. — they’re the next best thing to going completely barefoot. While I typically rock flip-flops the minute the temperatures hit 65 degrees, I’m excited about all the DIY possibilities sandals offer. Now, you’re not going to want to take a hot glue gun to your Lanvin flat sandals of course, but if you’ve got a cheap pair of rubber flip-flops or ankle strap flats, or a desire to update last year’s gladiator sandals, here are some easy DIYs to try!
I’ve always wanted to try the whole “silk scarf tied jauntily around the neck” thing — it’s so Jackie O meets Audrey Hepburn — but feared that the style would look too out of place in these here modern times. But Emmy Rossom is doing a good job with hers, pairing it with lots of white and a full skirt — a nod to the retro vibes — while her flat sandals and tote keep things a little modern. And those sunglasses are a nice tough — very cheeky! One last lingering fear remains — what about the awkward tan line? Ahh well. Keep reading »
The good news: 29-year-old Lee Setford has been jailed for five years after a jury found him guilty of raping a drunk woman passed out on his couch. The bad news: the judge in the case, Michael Mettyear, is really sad about it and had the nerve to offer Setford some consoling words after the verdict was read that reenforce dangerous myths about sexual assault. Namely, that Setford isn’t a “classic rapist” — are there also avant garde rapists and mod rapists and sporty rapists? — and that it’s a shame he didn’t just plead guilty so he could get a lesser sentence. Yes, seriously. Keep reading »
PAFU, in case you forgot, is a term coined by our dear Ami Angelowicz, which stands for “People Are Fucked Up.”
Mark Pickford, 41, from Manchester, England, has been cleared in the death of his cousin, Dawn Warburton, in what authorities believe was a “sex game gone wrong.” Yes, a sex game between cousins. Police found Pickford in Warburton’s bed in April 2013, the sheets covered in blood and her body hanging above him, her neck tied several times with his own rope, with over 30 injuries to her face and arms. Pickford claimed to remember nothing about what happened to his cousin, but did admit to having a sexual relationship with her that usually was instigated by the two of them drinking and doing drugs together. Keep reading »
Hey! How was your holiday weekend? Did you spend it with friends? So did Taylor Swift! See, there she is with Lena Dunham, Emma Stone, former “Gossip Girl” actress Jessica Szohr, Jaime King, indie pop singer Ingrid Michaelson, Canadian model Jessica Stam, and Australian model Amanda Griffith. You know, just some gal pals. Of course Lena’s gotta be the different one…
Activities are wonderful, but sometimes, it’s fine to want to shut the world out for a couple of days, and make some serious time for you. Don’t be afraid of FOMO, either. There will always be another party, another pub crawl, another picnic. The time you’ll spend indulging in the things you want to do, alone, are well worth it. Here’s a handy list of awesome things to do this weekend! Keep reading »
Hands down, the best scene in the “Orphan Black” season finale was the clone dance party, in which sestras Sarah, Allison, Cosima and Helena celebrated being in the same room together for the first time by shaking their asses. Their wildly different dance moves perfectly illustrated that while they may be identical, these clones are all individuals. The scene was awesome from a technical standpoint too — actress Tatiana Maslany plays all of the clones, so filming the scene was an impressive use of the green screen. Far less complicated to film, I imagine, was this kiddie tribute — but it sure is adorable! [The Daily Dot]