Remember how last week I said that I suck dick like it’s the last Talenti Salted Caramel Ice Cream Bar on Earth? It’s true. I just hate to live up to some ridiculous male fantasy of the woman who loves giving blowjobs … humble hair toss … but I am who I am. But while I genuinely enjoy giving head, I never assume that one technique pleases all. Oh yes, as Paul Simon might have put it, there are (approximately) 50 ways to please a penis — but here are just a few blow job techniques you may or may not have heard of (and should consider giving a shot)…
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Last week, you probably heard the story of a little girl who was kicked out of a KFC because, staff allegedly told her grandmother that her facial scars were “scaring people.” Three-year-old Victoria Wilcher has scars on her face leftover from a pitbull attack (shudder) and her family has been raising funds for surgery through GoFundMe. After the KFC story made headlines and went viral on the internet, KFC offered to donate $30,000 to Wilcher’s fund, while the public responded in droves and donations poured in to the tune of $135K. Doctors were even volunteering to waive their fees. Unfortunately, it turns out that Wilcher and her grandmother were never kicked out of a KFC — in fact, the whole thing was a hoax, concocted to help raise money for Wilcher’s surgery. Keep reading »
How was your weekend? Mine was pretty great, except for the random moments when I would remember that rosebudding exists and I would start audibly gagging like a cat coughing up a furball. Which is awkward when you’re in public and the last thing you want to do is explain why you’re gagging.
Anyway, I have good news and bad news! The bad news is that I am writing about rosebudding again. The good news is that, according to The Daily Dot, this “trend” is so rare that it’s pretty much ridiculous to even call it a trend. For starters, a gastroenterologist told The Daily Dot that a prolapsed anus is not something a usually healthy person has and is most commonly seen in the elderly — therefore the chances that ladies with pink socks are running rampant in the pornosphere is pretttttty unlikely. Male porn star Christian XXX confirmed as much, telling the Dot, “No one can do it. You have to get buttfucked like 10,000 times repeatedly just to maybe prolapse. I can’t think of five girls [in the industry who can prolapse].” And what talented ladies they are. Keep reading »
Olivia Palermo, professional pretty person who shops and attends parties for a living, has done it again! I mean, I guess it isn’t hard when nailing a perfect outfit is basically your reason for existence. But still! I love a Canadian tuxedo — aka denim on denim — but it can go so badly. Olivia’s rocking it well, though, pairing her skinny jeans and denim shirt with a chic black and white blazer, gorgeous gold stilettos and a bright yellow clutch. The next time the temps take a dip, I’m going to copy cat her. And now you can too with these pieces… Keep reading »
Kiki T’s Friskyscopes are my forever fave, but count me among Debra Silverman’s newest fans. The psychotherapist also considers herself an “astrology professional” and has a series of YouTube videos in which she acts out the primary personality traits of the 12 zodiac signs. I can only speak for myself, but her Scorpio impression is both terrifically accurate and hilarious. Scorpio, whether she’s been drinking or not — Debra’s Scorpio seems like she’s had a few — is always at risk of blurting out what she really thinks, which explains why we can be kind of quiet. Check out a few more of Debra’s astrological impressions after the jump and the rest at the link! [ViralNanoNews] Keep reading »
Until this very moment, I had not heard of British singer Sam Smith. I still don’t really get who he is, aside from the person who brilliantly covered Whitney Houston’s “How Will I Know?” for an episode of “Grey’s Anatomy” and on SiriusXM this weekend. Now I want to know more. His voice is TO DIE FOR. [Sirius XM]
Even if you’re not a fan of the “Hunger Games” books/movies, you’ve gotta admit the movies’ promotional work is tight. There’s a whole real-but-fake online magazine devoted to the Games — and the lifestyle maintained by those living in the Capitol — called Capitol Couture, and it’s actually, like, interesting. Capitol Couture also recently unveiled some promotional posters for the Games, featuring the unsung heroes of the different districts in Panem, all to get you hyped for the release of “Mockingjay.” Click through check them all out!
Friday night, United States women’s national soccer team star Hope Solo, 32, was arrested on two counts of domestic violence in Kirkland, Washington, and being held without bail. According to The Seattle Times, Solo allegedly struck her sister and her nephew during a family gathering at the home she shares with her husband, former Seattle Seahawks tight end Jerramy Stevens. According to Kirkland police Lt. Mike Murray, there were visible injuries on Solo’s sister and nephew. You may recall, this isn’t the first time that Solo has been involved in a domestic altercation. Back in 2012, Stevens was arrested for allegedly hitting Solo; they were married hours after his court appearance. The case was eventually dropped. [Bleacher Report]
I have a couple of friends with kids who incessantly want to listen to that song “Let It Go” from “Frozen” and usually I feel sorry for them. But today I am feeling envious, because as a child of the ’90s, Pearl Jam is my favorite band of all time and they just performed “Let It Go” at a concert in Italy. So basically I’m jealous that I don’t have a kid obsessed with “Frozen” because if I did, this moment would be opportunity to turn them into fans of the music I like. Or something. [Rolling Stone]
Money — and social media pressure — talks! The family who bought a deployed soldier’s dog on Craigslist — without his knowledge — has agreed to return the Shiba Inu named Baxter to the family of his rightful owner. Friends and family of Colorado Army Specialist Robert “Robby” Gabbert say that after mounting social media pressure and a $1,400 reward offer, the family has finally come to their senses and have returned Baxter to them, where he will be cared for until Robby returns from overseas.
Robby had left Baxter in the care of his then-girlfriend, but when he learned she was having issues taking care of the pup, he arranged to have Baxter sent to stay with his parents. Unfortunately, for reasons that still escape me, the girlfriend sold Baxter on Craigslist instead. Initially the family who bought Baxter refused to give him back, as they said their children had “become attached,” but there’s no doubt that the public outcry over this story helped change their tune. (Let’s also hope this story further dissuades people from buying animals on Craigslist. It’s shady as fuck, people.) Here’s to Robby and Baxter being reunited ASAP! [The Daily Dot]