Profile for Amelia McDonell-Parry

Catblocking: What Happens When Your Kitty Doesn’t Want You To Get Down


The one problem with having a pet or dating someone with a pet is that sometimes that pet gets in the way of having a good time. In this hilarious Funny or Die video, Dave Franco (that’s James’ brother) is trying to get it on with Jamie Lynn-Sigler, but his cat Arturo is kind of, well, c**kblocking him. Catblocking. Whatever. From now on, when my dog Lucca decides to hop up on the bed and sniff my sex partner’s bare butt while we’re doing our business, I am going to call it dogblocking. [Funny Or Die] Keep reading »

Danielle Staub Warbles Again — This Time With Backup Dancers!


Hey guys, how did you spend your morning? Mine was significantly less exciting than Danielle Staub’s. She made her morning news performance debut on New York’s “PIX Morning News,” performing her song “Real Close” alongside a harem of gay male dancers and her possible-romantic partner Lori Michaels. It’s pretty impossible for me to put into words how amazingly atrocious this performance is. Here, let Ami try: “Noooooo! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! My day is over.” Meanwhile, Annika thinks it’s terribly sad that Danielle has stolen her younger daughter’s dream of being a singer, to which Julie adds, “Yes, and that isn’t even the saddest thing in that girl’s life.” True. Also: “I feel like my soul has been sucked out of my body.” Yes, that just about sums it up. [PIX Morning News] Keep reading »

Vagina Tree Predicts Winning Lotto Numbers!

I’ve never been a big fan of the lottery. I think it’s because of that Shirley Jackson short story where the “winner” gets stoned to death, which seems to be what metaphorically happens when someone suddenly comes into a lot of money. But if there were any way to know that the lotto was fixed and you were guaranteed a win, I could maybe risk those fears. Perhaps that’s why villagers in northern Thailand have been consulting the magical vagina tree for clues? Keep reading »

“Bachelor Pad”: Who’s Doing What With Whom In Episode 3

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Last night’s episode of “Bachelor Pad” should have been called “The One Where They Try and Give Each Other Mono.” See, this week’s big competition was a kissing contest — every Bach and Bachelorette had a turn at being blindfolded, as the opposite sex took turns kissing them with as much gusto and tongue as they could muster. Then the blindfolded one would vote on which person was the best kisser and so on. Basically, ABC is not even trying to stand in the way of these dorks sharing bodily fluids. Do they at least test them for herpes? Keep reading »

10 Hilarious Celebrity Excuses For Their DUIs

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British cricket player Graeme Swann was pulled over for drunk driving and blamed it on his cat. He told officers that he “had come back to find his cat trapped under the floorboards in his house. He had gone to Asda to fetch some screwdrivers to remove some floorboards,” and that is why he was driving drunk in the middle of the night. He was apparently slurring but mostly just upset about his cat. As far as DUI excuses go, that’s a pretty original one. It seems that celebrities will say just about anything to try to get out of an arrest. We’ve rounded up 10 offenders. [Yahoo]

Lisbeth Salander’s Ikea Purchases From “The Girl Who Played With Fire”

In The Girl Who Plays With Fire, the second book in the Stieg Larsson series, off-kilter heroine Lisbeth Salander blows major cash in an Ikea shopping spree (it is Sweden after all). Apartment Therapy has compiled (nearly) all of her purchases into this handy image based on the product details revealed in the book. The only thing we would have done differently is throw in a Billy’s Pan Pizza for fun (even though you can’t buy Lisbeth’s favorite frozen food at Ikea). [Apartment Therapy] Keep reading »

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