Profile for Alyson Penn

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Chocolate Peanut Butter Cup Beer, ‘Nuff Said

I Hate Beer
beer drinker
In defense of fruity cocktails! Read More »
Beer-Filled Donut
Is this a dream or a nightmare? Read More »
Sexist Beer Marketing
Lady beer expert pens open letter letter to beer enthusiasts. Read More »
chocolate peanut butter cup beer

This may be a big week for ga -rights activists, America, and, like, history. But it’s also a big week for all us chocolate peanut butter lovers out there. That’s right, Sweet Baby Jesus Chocolate Peanut Butter Porter has descended from the heavens (or Abington, Maryland) and graced us with its sweet, sudsy presence. For a measly $10 at DuClaw Brewing, you can get buzzed on the chocolately-peanut-buttery libation that actually tastes and smells like a chocolate peanut cup, according to Uncrate. No word on where else in the States it’s hopping (heh) up next, but sweet baby Jesus, we hope it’s in ours. [Uncrate]

The 10 Funniest Female Duos Of All Time

“The Heat,” a foul-mouthed, gun-toting, slapstick-silly film opened in theaters this weekend — and it stars two female leads. Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy, two of Hollywood’s raddest women, play an FBI agent and a cop, respectively, in the movie, which has been getting some positive reviews. So, to honor this awesome female duo, we thought we’d list the wackiest and wittiest female duos (on and off the screen) of all time.

"Are Women Funny?"
Mindy Kaling won't answer your stupid "are women funny?" question. Read More »
Judd On Funny Women
Judd Apatow photo
Judd Apatow informs sexist d-bags that women are, in fact, funny. Read More »
Why Funny Women Rule
Mind of Man
John DeVore on why funny women are a natural resource. Read More »

Woman Grabs Man’s Crotch Before Duo Robs Him

Goat Thief
Letter to whoever stole a goat from a petting zoo and took it to the bar. Read More »
Zac's Crotch Grab
But who's he talking to on the phone while he does it? Read More »
Crotch Sweat?
This man likes to sniff crotch sweat at the gym. Read More »
crotch grabbing robbery

Apparently, a crotch grab is the real way to a man’s heart — or to his nonexistent wallet. Two women in Seattle made a really, really poor robbery attempt after making a date with a man they casually seduced by grabbing his crotch.

According to police reports, the caretaker victim was helping a patient move out of his building when the two temptresses drove up, called him over, performed their subtle move, and set up a coffee date with him for the following day. Keep reading »

Cheating Website Releases Dumb “Study” On How Unfaithful Wives Like To Dress

The Other Woman
Thoughts on having been the other woman. Read More »
Guy Talk: Cheating
This guy doesn't regret cheating. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Cheating
It's not your fault you got cheated on. Read More »
cheating wives shopping

So, apparently cheating doesn’t take up as much free time as we thought it would. While married women were busy scouting out the profile of this weekend’s lover on AshleyMadison.com, 52,390 of them took a quick pause for survey about what they like to wear. The straying missus doesn’t walked around with a scarlet letter pinned to her chest, after all. And what did it reveal? Not a whole lot.  The whole staff of The Frisky could be cheating wives according to this “data.” The top five stores a cheating wife apparently shops in are Banana Republic, J.Crew, Macy’s, Ann Taylor and H&M; she prefers Marc Jacobs purses, Ray-Ban sunglasses, and tankinis at the beach; and her summer must-haves are a maxi dress, colored skinny jeans, and a pencil skirt. How … interesting? According to AshleyMadison.com’s CEO:

“Becoming more concerned with one’s appearance is often a dead giveaway for an affair. If your spouse suddenly seems more consumed with style and putting outfits together after spending years in sweat pants, that is a tell tale sign she could be two timing.”

I’m guessing these answers are completely the same as faithful wives. But maybe that’s exactly what these cheating wives want you to think. Sneaky! [AshleyMadison.com]

Introducing The Minimum Wage Dress

Awesomely Affordable 11 Super Summer Swing Dresses
Awesomely Affordable: Super Summery Swing Dresses For Under $100
Awesomely Affordable 11 Super Summer Swing Dresses Read More »
minimum wage dress

My wallet thanks you, SheLikes.com. The British shopping website has created the MWD (Minimum Wage Dress) for all of those whose salaries are scraping the bottom of the barrel. The cut-out mini-shift goes for £3.68, the hourly minimum wage for teens in Britain. For us Americans, that totals about $5.68 – or a splurge at Forever 21. And while we agree with Refinery 29 that this minuscule price for working British teens might mean lower wages for working non-British teens, the company denies any sketchy business in production: “We fully support British manufacturing and are dedicated to working with UK-based suppliers, despite being able to source cheaper production rates overseas.” Still, the MWD is a hit already. Two of the four colors are already out of stock on the website. What else can you expect for a country that regards pricy TopShop as a bargain? [Refinery 29]

Back In The Day: We Love Yin Yangs

Back In the Day: We Love Bandanas
Back In the Day: We Love Bandanas Read More »
Back In The Day: We Love Power Beads
Power beads
Back In The Day: We Love Power Beads Read More »
yin wings - back in the day

What: Yin Yangs

When we wore it: mid to late ’90s

Why we hate them: We feel like it’s a little backwards to use the word “hate” for these stylish messengers of peace. But we will bring up some troubling questions like, why were the literally everywhere? And where did they go?

Why we love them: They were great doodling inspiration– as long as you got the proportions of the middle squiggle right. And aside from showing off your rad artistic skills, you could buy the necklaces that split the yin and the yang and give half to your gym partner as a sign of everlasting friendship.

Would we wear them now: Negative. But not because we wouldn’t want to, because they literally ceased to exist. And maybe we wouldn’t want to.

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