Profile for Alyson Penn

avatar

Beyoncé Is Naked! (Almost)

Beyonce's A Feminist
Beyonce calls herself a modern day feminist! Read More »
Beyonce Controversy
beyonce ms magazine
Beyonce on the cover of Ms. causes controversy. Read More »
Jayonce Rules!
Jay-Z and Beyonce
32 photos of Bey and Jay being adorable. Read More »
Beyonce- naked cover

B, you can chop off all your hair, strip off all your clothes, and slather your self in a shimmery rust-like substance, and the world still can’t get enough. The latest issue of Flaunt features a 2011 photo shoot of Blue Ivy’s fierce mama, who proves yet again why we are all inferior to her. In the magazine’s interview, she discusses her strong gay following, her collaboration with Pepsi, and … her ideal picnic? Something tells me though, subscribers might be looking more than they are reading. [Daily Mail]

18 Things You Wish You Could Ask On A First Date (But Can’t Because They’re Probably Inappropriate)

First-Date Fears
Common first date fears you don't really need to worry about. Read More »
Guy Talk: First Date
There was a reason he never called you after that great first date. Read More »
First Date Confessions
We wish we never heard these. Read More »

It’s our first date and I literally don’t care about your college major, or how long you’ve been in the city. I don’t care if you only drink aged whiskey or how lame you thought new Superman movie was. Please stop talking about your favorite hockey team and how it’s such a small world  because we both know so-and-so. Please, please, please stop rambling about any information I’ve already stalked on your Facebook and Linkedin pages. Can’t we just skip all the bullshit small talk and have a real conversation. There’s some stuff I’m dying to know about you, but I’m not Nell. I wasn’t raised in an isolated cabin, so I know better. But  here’s what questions you could answer that would make this happy hour a lot more valuable (for me, at least): Keep reading »

Back In The Day: We Love Jean Skirts

DIY: Polka Dot Jeans
Get this trendy look for less! Read More »
Must Haves: Printed Jeans
Spring Must Haves: 10 Perfect Pairs Of Printed Jeans
The latest crop of printed jeans is all but standard. Read More »
Moisturizing Jeans?
They'll make your butt soft and smooth while you wear them. Weird? Read More »
back in the day - jean skirt

What: Jean Skirts

When We Wore Them: Early 2000s

Why We Hate Them: Literally no reason, their inflated prices were totally warranted.

Keep reading »

Awesomely Affordable: The 7 Best Cuff Earrings Under $20

Remember those minuscule stick-on earrings that you always confused with Candy Buttons? Well, ear cuffs are kind of the same idea, as in you can plop them on your hole-less ear and still look kind of badass.  These suckers are popping up all over the place, and for many there’s no piercing required. So if you’re still afraid of the Claire’s piercing gun, or just want to wander outside the lobe, try out these cuffing awesome ear accessories.

Awesomely Affordable 11 Super Summer Swing Dresses
Awesomely Affordable: Super Summery Swing Dresses For Under $100
Awesomely Affordable 11 Super Summer Swing Dresses Read More »
Air Mail Earrings
Show your love for letters with these adorable earrings! Read More »

Large Child Justin Bieber Wants To Have Children Soon

Justin Ditches Monkey
justin bieber monkey
Justin Bieber's team has relinquished his pet monkey to German officials. Read More »
Justin Bieber Sex Toy
justin bieber sex toy
The "Just-In Beaver" has two "love holes" for your enjoyment. Read More »
Bieber's Freak Out
Justin Bieber flips out, threatens to beat up a photographer. Read More »
justin bieber

Today In Terrible Ideas: Justin Bieber told Us Weekly that he would like to get married and start a family young. He looks to his grandparents as a model for his future relationship as they are still together and in love. Bieber said, “They love each other so much, after so many years! When I’m their age, I want to be as in love with my wife as my grandfather is with his.” This is all really romantic and sweet until you remember the German government confiscated his pet monkey because he wasn’t properly taking care of it. And that he’s constantly in trouble for pissing off his neighbors, like racing his Ferrari up and down the street. I hope he knows that smoking pot “constantly,” as the Biebs is rumored to do, isn’t good for his sperm count. Okay, I’ll stop now. But seriously, wait awhile, Biebs. [Us Weekly] [Photo: Getty]

Weight Gain And Bigger Boobs Are Birth Control Myths

BC A Human Right
united nations
Access to contraception is a human right, the United Nations declared. Read More »
Free BC, Fewer Abortions
sex
Free birth control means fewer abortions, says study. Read More »
Permanent Birth Control
Your arguments against our permanent birth control are BS. Read More »

There goes my excuse for the Freshmen 15. Only three to four percent of women actually gain weight on the birth control pill, according to Dr. Anne Burke, associate professor of gynecology at Johns Hopkins. The pounds you think you pack on from the pill could actually be from those cafeteria fries, or the six shots of whipped cream vodka, or … puberty. As the blog Her Campus reports, “Many girls begin taking the Pill at a time in their lives when weight gain happens naturally — during adolescence and while in college. So, if you gain weight while on the Pill, it’s important to look at different factors that could be causing you to gain weight.” Another birth control myth? Bigger tits! According to Dr. Burke this side effect is also “very rare.” Instead, nausea, headaches, mood changes, bleeding in between periods, and breast tenderness are the wonderful side effects that you’re more likely to experience on the pill. Lucky us. [Her Campus] [Photo of big breasts via Shutterstock]

Chocolate Peanut Butter Cup Beer, ‘Nuff Said

I Hate Beer
beer drinker
In defense of fruity cocktails! Read More »
Beer-Filled Donut
Is this a dream or a nightmare? Read More »
Sexist Beer Marketing
Lady beer expert pens open letter letter to beer enthusiasts. Read More »
chocolate peanut butter cup beer

This may be a big week for ga -rights activists, America, and, like, history. But it’s also a big week for all us chocolate peanut butter lovers out there. That’s right, Sweet Baby Jesus Chocolate Peanut Butter Porter has descended from the heavens (or Abington, Maryland) and graced us with its sweet, sudsy presence. For a measly $10 at DuClaw Brewing, you can get buzzed on the chocolately-peanut-buttery libation that actually tastes and smells like a chocolate peanut cup, according to Uncrate. No word on where else in the States it’s hopping (heh) up next, but sweet baby Jesus, we hope it’s in ours. [Uncrate]

The 10 Funniest Female Duos Of All Time

“The Heat,” a foul-mouthed, gun-toting, slapstick-silly film opened in theaters this weekend — and it stars two female leads. Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy, two of Hollywood’s raddest women, play an FBI agent and a cop, respectively, in the movie, which has been getting some positive reviews. So, to honor this awesome female duo, we thought we’d list the wackiest and wittiest female duos (on and off the screen) of all time.

"Are Women Funny?"
Mindy Kaling won't answer your stupid "are women funny?" question. Read More »
Judd On Funny Women
Judd Apatow photo
Judd Apatow informs sexist d-bags that women are, in fact, funny. Read More »
Why Funny Women Rule
Mind of Man
John DeVore on why funny women are a natural resource. Read More »

Woman Grabs Man’s Crotch Before Duo Robs Him

Goat Thief
Letter to whoever stole a goat from a petting zoo and took it to the bar. Read More »
Zac's Crotch Grab
But who's he talking to on the phone while he does it? Read More »
Crotch Sweat?
This man likes to sniff crotch sweat at the gym. Read More »
crotch grabbing robbery

Apparently, a crotch grab is the real way to a man’s heart — or to his nonexistent wallet. Two women in Seattle made a really, really poor robbery attempt after making a date with a man they casually seduced by grabbing his crotch.

According to police reports, the caretaker victim was helping a patient move out of his building when the two temptresses drove up, called him over, performed their subtle move, and set up a coffee date with him for the following day. Keep reading »

Cheating Website Releases Dumb “Study” On How Unfaithful Wives Like To Dress

The Other Woman
Thoughts on having been the other woman. Read More »
Guy Talk: Cheating
This guy doesn't regret cheating. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: Cheating
It's not your fault you got cheated on. Read More »
cheating wives shopping

So, apparently cheating doesn’t take up as much free time as we thought it would. While married women were busy scouting out the profile of this weekend’s lover on AshleyMadison.com, 52,390 of them took a quick pause for survey about what they like to wear. The straying missus doesn’t walked around with a scarlet letter pinned to her chest, after all. And what did it reveal? Not a whole lot.  The whole staff of The Frisky could be cheating wives according to this “data.” The top five stores a cheating wife apparently shops in are Banana Republic, J.Crew, Macy’s, Ann Taylor and H&M; she prefers Marc Jacobs purses, Ray-Ban sunglasses, and tankinis at the beach; and her summer must-haves are a maxi dress, colored skinny jeans, and a pencil skirt. How … interesting? According to AshleyMadison.com’s CEO:

“Becoming more concerned with one’s appearance is often a dead giveaway for an affair. If your spouse suddenly seems more consumed with style and putting outfits together after spending years in sweat pants, that is a tell tale sign she could be two timing.”

I’m guessing these answers are completely the same as faithful wives. But maybe that’s exactly what these cheating wives want you to think. Sneaky! [AshleyMadison.com]

  • Zergnet: Simply Irresistible

  • HowAboutWe

  • Popular